


Switched

by SamanthaAuburn



Series: Switched AU [1]
Category: Game Grumps, Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Adventure, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Metafiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 59,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaAuburn/pseuds/SamanthaAuburn
Summary: While on set practicing lines, Arin knocks over a guitar prop that somehow sends him and Dan to the world of Good Game. Meanwhile, Alex and Ryland appear in their places on Good Game’s set. Now Arin and Dan must find a way home and attempt to replace Boogerboss and the Coach for Blood Match, while Alex and Ryland find themselves in a world with their ideal lives… and they don’t know how to cope.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One  
“Do you ever wish our lives were different?” Alex asked Ryland. 

Ryland eyed Alex from his position in front of his computer. “No. I absolutely love sitting in my weed-smelling, piss-stained apartment with nothing to do but stare at computer all day long.” 

Alex stared at him with a frown. 

Ryland rolled his eyes. “Every fucking day, Alex. What did you think I was gonna say?” 

Alex laid back on the couch. “I was trying to open up a discussion.” 

“What’s to discuss?” Ryland said, turning back to the screen. 

Alex turned his head toward the electric guitar in the corner. He frowned.

Ryland raised his eyebrow. “You want to get back into music?” 

“You got back into video games.” 

“Only because you practically forced me to,” Ryland said. “I mean, I guess I’m happy to be here, but at the same time, I’m still dealing with the stupid nonsense I did when I was a kid.” 

Alex pressed his lips together. “I didn’t mean to force you into this.” 

Ryland glanced at Alex. He smiled. “S’okay, bro. I probably needed it.” He turned back to the screen. “Honestly, if I seriously thought about it, I wouldn’t change anything. I’ve got at least some kind of purpose with this stupid game. And I’ve got you and the rest of the team. I don’t need anything else.” 

Alex glanced at the guitar again, just for a brief moment, then smiled at Ryland. “Good. I wouldn’t either.” 

\-----

“Ever wonder what it’d be like if we actually were Alex and Ryland?” Dan asked, laying back on Alex’s couch on set. They were rehearsing lines waiting for the rest of the team to finish makeup and wardrobe. He glanced over his laptop, running lines through his head.

“Fuck no,” Arin said from his position on Ryland’s chair. “I’ve already got a pretty good grasp of the character, and let me tell you, I do not want the baggage he carries with him.”

“What about if you met them?” Dan said. “Think we’d get along?” 

“I think Ryland would instantly hate me,” Arin said. “Because I have the life he wishes he had.” 

“But you suck at video games.” 

Arin eyed him. “You know what I mean. A proper job, a huge group of friends, a spouse. Just. . . love.” 

Dan frowned. “Yeah. Probably.” He sighed, eying the teal-green electric guitar prop in the corner of the room. “Alex probably wouldn’t like me either, though he’d never say so. But he really wanted to be a musician, and it didn’t work.” 

“We’re living the ideal lives of these characters,” Arin said. “So meeting them would be. . . awkward.” He leaned on one knee and smirked. “Besides that, if I really wanted to see what that would be like, I’d just pull up the fan fiction.” 

Dan sat up. “Please tell me you haven’t actually read the fan fiction.” 

Arin shrugged. “Good way to pass the time.”

“Oh my god, Arin.” 

“Honestly, if you stay away from the NSFW and shipping stuff, it’s not so bad,” Arin said. “You’d be shocked at how many people have written fan fiction about us meeting the characters we play.” 

“And I assume the NSFW stuff ends up being something akin to ‘getting fucked while eating out your own pussy.’” 

Arin’s eye twitched. “Best not to go there.” 

Dan laughed. “I bet it has its own shipping name and everything!” 

“I swear Dan, if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna start sending you fan art of it at all hours of the night.” 

“That’d mean you’d have to look at them first,” Dan said grinning.

“Hey guys,” Michele walked on set with Jade, Michael, and Rahul in tow. “You ready for rehearsal?” 

“Born ready,” Arin said, standing up. But as he stood, his knee knocked the electric guitar, pitching it forward. He gasped and reached for it.

Dan slammed his computer shut and vaulted out of the couch, rushing for the guitar. Both Dan and Arin had a grip on the neck when it smashed into the ground and cracked with a massive flash of light. Somewhere in the distance, Arin screamed. Dan was sure he screamed too, but it was drowned in the crackling electricity.

Then Dan blacked out.

\-----

“Ugh. . .” Dan came to slowly, gripping his head. “What the fuck. . .?” 

“Dude, are you alright?”

Dan opened his eyes to see Rahul hovering over him, looking concerned.

Dan ran a hand down his face. “I think so.” 

“You broke your guitar!” Rahul said, pointing to the green mass near Dan’s ear. All six strings had snapped and curled in awkward directions. Dan heaved a sigh. Thank goodness none of the strings hit him in the eye when they snapped. That could have been disastrous. 

“Good thing it’s not actually mine,” Dan said, sitting up. His laptop slid off his legs and hit the floor harmlessly.

Michele and Jade hovered over him, blinking at him. “It’s not?” Michele asked. 

“Dude, is this thing hot?” Rahul said, picking it up with a weird sense of awe. “I didn’t know you had it in you.” 

Arin groaned next to Dan and stirred. “What the fuck happened?” 

Dan glanced at Rahul. “What are you talking about? It’s just a prop.” He eyed the guitar. Three of the pins at the top had snapped off as well. “Actually, I hope to god it’s just a prop. I’d rather not have to pay for this thing if it’s real.” 

Arin sat up and rubbed his head. “Oh god, my head.” 

Dan frowned. “You okay, dude?” 

“I feel like a thousand people smashed a thousand hammers on my head at once,” Arin said. He blinked and glanced around. “What the fuck? Where the hell are the cameras? The lights?” 

“The what?” Jade asked. “Did you hit your head or what?” 

Dan looked around. Arin was right. There weren’t any lights or cameras anywhere. In fact, there was nothing to suggest that they were on a set. The scattered food bags had actual rotting food in them. The light looked far too natural. The computers actually whirred and the screens had proper desktops displaying on them. The window was open and the air coming through it smelled far too fresh for a set.

And there was a mild smell of weed hovering around his head. An unmistakable smell.

Dan’s eyes widened. What the hell? 

“Alex?” Jade waved a hand in front of his face. “You doing okay?” 

Dan whipped around and faced her. “What did you call me?” 

Jade eyed him. “Alex? You know, your name?” 

Dan turned to Arin, who stared at him wide-eyed. He turned back to Jade. “That’s not funny.” 

Jade lifted an eyebrow. “It wasn’t meant to be. What the hell is going on with you?” 

“My name isn’t Alex,” Dan said. “It’s Dan. You know that.” 

Michele’s mouth twitched. “Alex, you’re not making sense.” 

“Stop calling me Alex!” Dan scrambled to stand. “That’s seriously not funny, Michele.” 

Michele’s eyes widened. “Who’s Michele?” 

Dan’s heart caught in his throat. 

Arin stood now, moving closer to Dan. “Um. You are.” 

Michele gave them both an incredulous look. “Is this some kind of prank or something? Or are you both drunk? Come on, let me smell your breath.” 

“You know we don’t drink,” Arin said, though his voice lacked conviction. 

Jade rolled her eyes. “Tell that to the myriad of half-finished Heinekens all over the place.” 

On impulse, Dan reached over and plucked up one of the beer bottles. On set, they had mildly colored water or ginger ale in the bottles rather than real beer. But when Dan waved the bottle under his nose. . .

Fuck. That was real beer.

“Arin.” He passed the bottle to his friend. 

“Arin?” Michael chimed. “Look, Ryland, I know I’ve said you don’t have a real name, but you didn’t have to go changing it for my sake.” 

Arin stared at Michael, the beer bottle hovering under his nose. He exchanged a glance with Dan. 

Both men ran for the apartment door. 

“Wait, where the hell are you going?” Michele called.

Arin got there first, threw the door open, and ran outside. Dan followed. 

It’s just dream. he said to himself. Just a stupid prank. This isn’t real. We’re still on the YouTube Red Space. 

But the moment they left the apartment set, that thought shattered. 

This wasn’t a set. There weren’t the typical rows of props and costumes. There was no lighting, no extra cameras, no staff wandering around.

It was an honest-to-god apartment hallway. 

Arin turned down the hallway and ran for the door leading to the outside world. 

“Arin, wait!” Dan ran after him. Michele and Jade (Ash and Sam?) followed close behind. 

Arin shoved the door. It opened to a faded parking lot and a handful of kids with backpacks running down the street. 

Dan slowed and stopped next to Arin. This wasn’t a set. It wasn’t a set. He gripped Arin’s shoulder, trying to shove down panic. 

Arin took a shuddering breath. “Oh, shit.” 

\-----

Alex groaned. He was on the floor. Why was he on the floor? Normally waking up on the floor meant he had had too much to drink the previous night, but he had just been talking to Ryland. That excuse was out the window. He forced his eyes open.

Ash, Sam, Kamal, and Lorenzo were all hovering overhead. 

“Gah!” Alex started and back away from them. “How long have you been standing there?” 

“Since you passed out,” Ash said. “Are you okay? Don’t scare us like that!” 

Alex blinked. Scare them? They wouldn’t even give him a group hug after practice, and now they were worried about him on the floor of his own apartment? “I. . . didn’t think you cared that much?” 

Kamal seriously looked hurt. “Of course we do, you idiot! You could have been seriously hurt by that thing!” 

Alex frowned. “What thing?” 

Kamal pointed behind him. Alex turned and his eyes widened.

“My guitar!” His beloved electric guitar lay on the ground, all the strings snapped and three tuning keys broken. 

But worse than that, Ryland was sprawled on the ground next to it, face buried in the carpet. Alex whipped around. “Ryland! Come on, buddy, wake up.” He shook Ryland’s shoulders. Ryland groaned and stirred. 

“Ryland?” Ash said. “What?” 

Ryland sat up, gripping his head. Alex softly patted his back. “What the fuck just happened?” 

“Dan, did you seriously call Arin ‘Ryland’?” Sam asked, leaning in.

Alex leaned back. “Um. Yes. That’s his name. Who are Dan and Arin?” 

Sam blinked at him, then burst out laughing. “What, is this your new way of getting into character? Great work, I guess. You really had me going.” 

Alex wasn’t laughing. “What are you talking about?” 

“Wait,” Ryland said, glancing around, his eyes wide. “What the fuck are these lights up here? The cameras? What the hell?” 

Alex followed his gaze and his pupils shrank. 

Big heavy black lights lined the ceiling. Several huge industrial cameras had been set up on rollers or cranes. 

And part of a wall was missing, leading out into. . . into. . .

Alex leapt to his feet and ran for the gap. “Holy fuck.” 

They were in some huge studio. Racks of clothing lined one wall. Spare cameras and lights scattered everywhere. A huge pile of trash labeled “set dressing” lay on several shelves. Copies of Alex’s beloved bong sat among a handful of open beer bottles. 

“Alex. . .?” Ryland had followed Alex into the studio, staring wide eyed, his voice nothing more than a squeak. “What. . . what the hell is going on?” 

“I. . . I don’t know.” Alex instinctively reached for Ryland and gripped his sleeve. “This. . . what?” 

“Are you guys okay?” Lorenzo’s voice seemed so close, yet so distant.

They both turned and watched their team walk out of the fake apartment. Fake fucking apartment. Since when was that a thing? Was this some kind of dream? A drug trip out of control? Did someone lace his weed? No, it couldn’t be that. How would Ryland be there? Why would this feel so real? 

“Dan?” Lorenzo asked.

“I’m not Dan,” Alex said. “I don’t know who the fuck this Dan person is. Stop calling me that!” 

“What the fuck is going on, you guys?” Ryland said. “Some fucking elaborate prank? It’s not funny.” 

The team exchanged glances. Ash frowned, looking over Alex and Ryland. “Did you guys hit your heads or something?” 

“This isn’t funny,” Ryland repeated. “Tell us what the fuck is going on!” 

“You guys hit your heads and now you think you’re the characters you play on TV?” Kamal said. 

Alex blanked. “TV? Characters?” 

Ash bit her lip. “We’re in trouble.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on set practicing lines, Arin knocks over a guitar prop that somehow sends him and Dan to the world of Good Game. Meanwhile, Alex and Ryland appear in their places on Good Game’s set. Now Arin and Dan must find a way home and attempt to replace Boogerboss and the Coach for Blood Match, while Alex and Ryland find themselves in a world with their ideal lives… and they don’t know how to cope.

“I keep telling you,” Dan insisted. “We’re not Ryland and Alex. We just play them on a TV show.” 

Michele—Ash, Dan told himself—frowned at him. “A TV show.” 

“A YouTube Red show,” Dan said. “It’s just a made-up world. A made-up story. It’s not real.” 

“We might have to rethink that statement, Dan,” Arin said. The two of them sat on one of the couches in their apartment – their fucking apartment – still feeling shell shocked. 

What the fuck had happened? 

Rahul—Kamal, lifted his hands in an exaggerated huff. “I don’t know what kind of fucking game you think you’re playing, but this so not the time. Blood Match is in two weeks.” 

Oh, shit. Blood Match. A shock ran up Dan’s spine. “Are you kidding?” 

“Why the hell would I kid about that?” Kamal said. “We’ve been practicing for months! You can’t get cold feet and fuck around to get out of it now! We need Boogerboss at the top of his game!” 

Arin narrowed his eyes. “Is that all you want from him?” 

Dan glanced at him. There was poison in his voice. 

“What, you want me to get all teary-eyed about poor, sad Ryland?” Kamal said. “Boo-hoo, I’m mourning.” 

Arin huffed. “No wonder Ryland is so fucking depressed.” 

“It is really weird hearing you talk in third person about yourself,” Jade—Sam said. “Could we please be done with this stupid prank and get back to practice?” 

“We’re not Alex and Ryland,” Arin insisted. “How many ways can we tell you?” 

Ash crossed her arms and lifted one eyebrow. “Can you prove it?” 

Dan frowned. Could he? How would he even do that? He was in a foreign world and his personality was just a slightly milder version of Alex’s. It’s not like that would change anything.

Then he noticed his laptop still lying on the ground. He snatched it up, hoping it was still actually his. 

He booted it up and heaved relief. “I’ll prove it to you.” He waved everyone over. 

Arin glanced over. “Holy shit, is that your laptop?” 

“Yes,” Dan said. He dug through his folders. “And this one happens to have a bunch of our videos.” He pulled up his saved copy of the Wish You Were Here music video. 

The team glanced over his shoulder. “What the. . .” Ash stared wide-eyed. “Alex, is that you?” 

“Just wait,” Dan said. 

“Dude, that’s the Super Guitar Brothers!” Kamal shouted. “How the hell did you get to do a video with them?” 

Dan didn’t respond. Instead, he waited.

The singing started. 

_So. . . So you think you can tell_  
Heaven from hell  
Blue skies from pain  
Can you tell a green field?  
From cold steal rail?   
Smile from a veil?   
Do you think you can tell? 

Subconsciously, Dan started singing along, letting himself get lost in the music. He let the video run to its conclusion, singing along the whole time. 

An ache built up in his chest as the implication of the situation started to become more real. They were in the Good Game universe. Not home. Not where they belonged. 

Fuck.

Arin must have felt it too, since he gripped Dan’s wrist, shaking. 

The song ended.

“What. . . what did I just witness?” Sam said. “The Alex we know can’t sing for shit. But this shows you doing a perfect rendition of a Pink Floyd song.” 

Dan eyed her. “I’m not Alex.”

Lorenzo’s eyes widened and he turned to Arin. “Then. . . that means. . .” 

Arin took a deep breath. He released Dan’s wrist, stood up, then walked to Ryland’s computer and plopped in the chair. He woke the computer and pulled up Killcore. 

Then he proceeded to play.

And suck, in typical Arin fashion.

“I don’t know shit about MOBAs,” Arin said, watching as his chosen character died quicker than Lorenzo had ever even thought of dying. “Because I’m not Ryland.”

Kamal stood and started pacing. “Ohhh shit. Shit!” 

“We’re fucked,” Sam said. “That’s just it! We’re fucked! Say goodbye to Blood Match!” 

Arin dropped a fist to the desk, making everyone jump.

“That’s all you have to say about it?” He said, biting off every word. “‘Oh shit, we don’t get to play Blood Match now’? Not ‘Holy hell our friends are missing?’ Do you care even a tiny bit for Alex and Ryland?” 

“I do,” Ash said. Dan glanced up at her. Her eyes darkened. “I mean, if you guys aren’t. . . well, our guys. . . then where are they?” 

Arin blinked, then sat straight up and met Dan’s eyes. 

Everything clicked in Dan’s mind. “Fuck.” 

\-----

“Thanks for coming in, guys,” Michele said, leading Suzy and Brian through the YouTube Red Space. “They’re seriously freaking out and we don’t know what to do. Maybe some more familiar faces will snap them out of this.” 

“No problem,” Suzy said. “I’m sure it’s just some stupid elaborate prank. You know how they like to pull those.” 

Brian huffed. “This is taking it too far if you ask me.” 

Audrey tugged on Brian’s pant leg. “Daddy, pick me up!” 

Brian smiled and lifted his daughter into his arms. “Sorry I had to bring Audrey with me. Rachel was running errands and I wasn’t expecting to have to come break Dan out of some stupid prank.”

“No problem,” Michele said, her voice dark. “And I wish it was a stupid prank, but I have a feeling there’s more to it than that.” 

They entered the apartment set. 

Alex sat on the couch, his knees huddled up to his face, staring at the floor, trying to avoid catching the cameras or lights in his vision. Ryland wasn’t much better off, choosing to lean his back against Alex’s side and keep his eyes trained on his own shoes. 

A woman with dark eyes and black, blonde-streaked hair cautiously approached Ryland. A gray-haired man holding a little girl stood by the far wall. The woman kept her eyes trained on Ryland. “Hey hun. Michele says you’re freaking out, so she asked me to come in. You doing okay?” 

Both Ryland and Alex turned to her. Ryland blinked. “What did you just call me?” 

The woman frowned. “Hun. Like I normally do.” She rolled her eyes, though there didn’t seem much effort put into it. “Come on, it’s time to stop this stupid prank.” 

“You think this is a prank?” Ryland said, the anger in his voice making the woman jump. “If it is, it’s a fucking messed up one, and I’m not happy. And why the hell are you calling me hun?” 

She frowned, suddenly wary. “Because I’m your wife.” 

Alex and Ryland’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?” Ryland said. 

Alex smacked Ryland’s shoulder. “You never told me you were married!” 

“I’m not fucking married, Alex!” Ryland shouted, his voice quavering. “I don’t even know who the hell this is!” He wrapped his arms around his head. “Please stop this. It’s not funny. It’s not fucking funny!”   
The woman took a step back. Her eyes glistened and she drew a hand to her mouth. 

The gray-haired man that had followed the woman in frowned at her. “Suzy?” 

“That’s. . . that’s not my husband,” she whispered. 

“That’s what I was fucking trying to tell you!” Ryland shouted. “Why won’t anyone believe me? What the fuck are you guys trying to do to us?” 

The little girl squirmed in the man’s arms, desperate to escape. She squealed. “Uncle Danny, Uncle Danny!” The man put her down, wary. The girl shouted gleefully and ran for Alex.

Alex shrank back at the squealing child. 

She stopped about five feet from Alex. She frowned, then looked up at the man who had brought her in. “Daddy, that’s not Uncle Danny. Where’s Uncle Danny?” 

The man just stared at Alex. 

Alex lowered his head back into his knees. “I’m not Dan.” 

“This seriously can’t be happening,” the man said. He turned to Ryland. “Arin--”

“I’m not fucking Arin,” Ryland said, his voice cracking. He huffed. “I’m Ryland. I’m Boogerboss. But I’m not Arin.” 

Kamal. . . or Rahul, or whatever the fucking kid’s name was, passed an open laptop to Ryland. The laptop was running DOTA. 

“Prove it,” Rahul said. 

Ryland snatched the laptop out of Rahul’s hand and dove into the game. 

Ten minutes later, he came out on top in a team match, MVP to the max. He flashed the computer at the strangers around him. “Happy now?” 

Michele drew a hand to her face. “Oh my god.” 

Suzy leaked proper tears now, staring at Ryland with a look of disbelief. “What the fuck is this, Michele? Where’s my husband?” 

Michele stared. “I. . . I don’t know.” 

Ryland hid his face in his hands again. 

Suzy shook her head. “What. . . what the hell do we even do?” 

The gray-haired man took a deep breath. “I. . . I’m not sure. But we can’t leave them here. It’s late.” 

Alex knew that one already. Just a few minutes before these new people showed up, someone had announced that the studio they were in was closing soon. They had to leave.  
But where would he and Ryland go if their apartment wasn’t real?

The gray-haired man approached the pair and squatted so he could meet their eyes. “My name is Brian.” 

“Whoop-dee-fucking-do,” Ryland said. “You want a medal for that?” 

“I want to help,” Brian said, ignoring Ryland’s sarcasm. “I don’t know what’s going on, but we want to help get you guys home.” Suzy let out a little sob and Alex felt Ryland shudder next to him. Brian continued. “Can we do that?” 

Alex took a deep breath. “Yes, please.” 

“Then come with me,” Brian said. 

“Where are you taking them?” Suzy said, her voice cracking. 

“I don’t really have space for the both of them at my house,” he said. “I’ll take them to Dan’s house. We’ll see if we can figure something out in the morning, after the shock has worn off a little. We’re all going to be a little irrational right now.” 

“Fuck all of you. . .” Ryland muttered. 

Alex gripped Ryland’s shoulder. “We’ll get through this, buddy.” 

“Like fuck we will,” Ryland said.

“Come on,” Brian said. “I’ll drive.” He held out a hand to Alex.

Alex chewed his bottom lip, but took the older man’s hand. 

\-----

“This is Dan’s place,” Brian said, opening the door. “I’ll leave you my spare key, but please don’t wander far. We don’t want you getting lost.” 

Alex and Ryland entered the spacious house, staring in awe. Huge living room with two big, plush couches, and a massive TV. It also had a fireplace and a surround-sound speaker system. The kitchen was even larger, with a gigantic center island, granite countertops and a variety of spices and tools on the counters and hanging from the cupboards. Def Leopard, Rush, and Pink Floyd posters lined the walls, as well as several shelves with figurines and what looked like handmade plushies of man in a blue jumpsuit. Alex noted a set of Starbomb posters lining one wall. At least one thing was familiar here.

And that was just what was visible. Two hallways tapered off further into the house, leading who the fuck knew where. 

“You can eat whatever’s in the fridge,” Brian said. “No one wants you to starve.” 

“Why are you doing this for us?” Ryland blurted out. 

Brian frowned. “Shouldn’t we want to help?” 

“No one wants to help me,” Ryland said, facing Brian. Alex frowned, but he didn’t counter Ryland’s claim. “Why should you be any different?” 

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Because Dan and Arin would have helped you,” he said. “That’s enough reason for me.” He dropped the spare key into Arin’s hand. “Goodnight. I’ll come by early tomorrow morning.” He left, shutting the door behind him. 

Alex watched him leave, a lump building in his throat. 

“Alex.” 

Alex turned. Ryland rubbed his arms, shaking. “I’m scared.” 

Alex took a deep breath, then drew Ryland into a hug. “I know, buddy. I’m scared too.” 

\-----

“Arin,” Dan said, staring at the carpet and trying to ignore the smell of weed calling to him. “What the fuck do we do?” 

The team had long gone home, not sure how to handle the situation they had suddenly been put in, leaving Dan and Arin to “their” apartment. It felt so familiar and yet so. . . foreign. God, how had this happened? He huddled up on himself on the couch.

Arin handed Dan a water. “I don’t know.” 

“Are we stuck here?” 

“I don’t know,” Arin said again, sucking down his own water. “I just don’t know.” 

“Arin. . .” Dan felt shaky now. “I’m scared.” 

Arin wrapped an arm over Dan’s shoulder and held him tight, trying to stop the shaking. “Me too, buddy.” He glanced at the hall leading to Ryland’s bedroom. “No fucking way am I sleeping in Ryland’s bed.” 

“Dibs on one half of the sofa bed,” Dan said. 

“Deal,” Arin said, and they pulled the couch apart together. It was easily large enough for them to share with no issues. Dan handed one of the sheets to Arin and they spread out on the bed, both staring at the ceiling. 

“Arin,” Dan said. “What if we can’t get home?” 

Arin didn’t have an answer for him.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on set practicing lines, Arin knocks over a guitar prop that somehow sends him and Dan to the world of Good Game. Meanwhile, Alex and Ryland appear in their places on Good Game’s set. Now Arin and Dan must find a way home and attempt to replace Boogerboss and the Coach for Blood Match, while Alex and Ryland find themselves in a world with their ideal lives… and they don’t know how to cope.

Ryland woke up the next morning sore. He kept his eyes tightly shut, mumbling to himself. Yesterday was a dream. It wasn’t real. He’d wake up in his own bed, with Alex snoring in the living room. He was not married to mysterious woman named Suzy, nor was he staying at some stranger’s house with Starbomb posters all over the wall. It was just a fucking nightmare. 

He shifted. It didn’t take him long to realize he wasn’t in his own bed. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to open his eyes. 

He definitely wasn’t in his own bed. 

The details last night were still fuzzy. Neither he nor Alex were hungry, their stomachs churning at the thought of where they were stuck. Neither of them felt comfortable exploring the house either, or sleeping in a stranger’s bed. Alex had found some blankets and pillows in the hall closet and they each took one of the couches in the living room. 

Neither wanted to sleep alone either.

Ryland turned over and faced the center of the living room. Damn it all. It wasn’t a dream. What the fuck was going on? 

Alex was already awake. He sat up on the couch, the blanket draped over his shoulders, examining something in his hand. 

Ryland sat up.

“Good morning,” Alex said, not looking up from the object he held.

“Whatever the fuck is good about it,” Ryland said. He squinted at the thing in Alex’s hand. “What’s that?” 

Alex held the object out to Ryland.

It was a little plush doll of a man in a sparkly, blue jumpsuit with a red star of David in the center. The plush had a mess of curly brown hair, brown eyes, and mild stubble on his chin. 

Ryland stared a moment before it clicked. “Holy shit. This is--”

“Mr. Sexbang,” Alex said. “From my failed band.” 

Ryland examined the doll closer. “But. . . but this looks handmade. What--”

“It’s not the only one,” Alex said, reaching to his right. He pulled out ten more dolls, all different styles, all wearing a variety of the Sexbang costume Alex had so carefully designed during his music days.

Ryland picked up another one. “But. . . these. . . these look like fan creations.” 

Alex reached to his side one more time and pulled out three flat squares. He passed them to Ryland.

Ryland reeled back staring at objects in his hand. 

They were CDs. Honest-to-fucking-god CDs.

With Alex on the front, dressed in the Sexbang costume.

Ryland blinked. “Ninja Sex Party?” 

“One of our rejected names,” Alex said, his voice cracking.

Ryland snapped his head up. 

“What the fuck is this world, Ryland?” Alex said. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. “This guy. . . he’s a musician. He used my ideas. My costume, my band name, my character. And he’s successful. What the fucking hell?” He reached to his right again and pulled out one more CD. He tossed it at Ryland. “And look! He started Starbomb! He’s the lead singer! And you’re fucking in it.” 

“What?” Ryland glanced over the CD. A cartoon version of himself standing next to a cartoon Alex stared up at him. 

Starbomb was one of Ryland’s favorite bands back at home. Made up of three people, a singer, a rapper, and a keyboardist, they sang parody songs about popular video games. 

“But. . . what?” 

“I already listened to the CD,” Alex said. “You rap on it. And you’re fucking good at it.” 

“What?” 

Alex gripped the Sexbang plushies. “What the fucking hell, Ryland. . .? What have we been dropped into?” 

“I. . . I don’t know,” Ryland said. 

Someone knocked on the front door. Alex huddled in on himself, clutching tighter to the plushies. “. . .You get it.” 

Ryland frowned. He wasn’t used to seeing Alex so. . . broken. He stood up, squeezed Alex’s shoulder as he walked by, then headed for the door.

Brian was standing on the other side. “Hey. Sleep okay?” 

“No,” Ryland said, stepping to the side to let Brian in. 

“Tell me about Ninja Sex Party,” Alex said from the living room.

Brian frowned, staring at Alex. “It’s a band Dan and I put together. We’re mainly a comedy band, but we do covers and stuff with Tupperware Remix Party too.” 

Ryland’s jaw dropped. “You guys work with TWRP?” 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You know them?” 

“They’re huge where we come from,” Ryland said. 

_“What the fuck,”_ Alex spat. “Why the fuck is this guy so successful and my band failed?” 

Brian took a deep breath. He patted Alex’s shoulder. “Wish I could tell you.” 

“Ryland. . .” Alex said, burying himself deeper into his blanket, tossing aside the plushies. “I want to go home.” 

Brian glanced sadly at Ryland, who just shook his head. Brian squeezed Alex’s shoulder. “That’s what we’re going to try and fix today.” 

Alex glanced up at him, tiny tear tracks running down his cheeks now. He took a shuddering breath, then stood, gathering the CDs and plushies in his hands. He put them where they belonged then headed for the front door. 

“Just get me out of this hellhole.”

Ryland pressed his lips together, then followed with Brian taking up the rear.

\-----

Arin woke the next morning, only mildly surprised that he was, in fact, still in Ryland’s apartment. He sighed, running a hand down his face. 

How the hell were they supposed to escape this? 

He turned to his left, but Dan wasn’t there. He sat up, frowning, then glanced around. “Dan?” 

“Here,” Dan said from the kitchen. 

Arin yawned, crawled out of bed, then headed for the kitchen.

Dan sat in one of the chairs, holding a moth-eaten spangly jumpsuit in his hands. 

“Holy shit,” Arin said. “Is that Alex’s Sexbang costume?” 

Dan shrugged. “Not sure if he used the Sexbang name, but it’s definitely his band outfit. It’s the one we used to shoot Alex’s backstory montage.”

“Where’d you find that?”

“The back room is all messy storage,” Dan said. “This was sitting on a pile of broken bongs.” 

Arin winced. 

“Found these too.” Dan handed Arin a handful of lined paper. Arin glanced over them, his eyes growing wide. 

“These. . . they’re. . .”

“They’re unfinished drafts of Skyhill and Ninja Sex Party songs,” Dan said. “Songs I wrote.” 

“His handwriting even looks like yours,” Arin said, as he skimmed through a draft of No Reason Boner. “Why didn’t he finish these?” 

“Remember Alex’s background?” Dan said. “‘You’re the only one into this band.’ His band broke up and I guess he just. . . gave up.”

Arin sat at the table. “Damn. I wonder why?” 

Dan eyed his friend. “You know how many times I got close to giving up.” 

“But you kept at it.” 

“I had help,” Dan said. “From a man named Arin Hanson.” 

Arin frowned. “I wasn’t the only reason you succeeded, dude.” 

“No, but you were a huge part of it,” Dan said. “Don’t underestimate what you did for NSP. And for me.” He glanced over the papers and through the apartment. “Alex didn’t have an Arin to help him through the tough times. I guess I should count myself lucky.” 

“It works both ways, Dan,” Arin said. 

Dan smiled. “Glad it does.” 

Someone knocked on the front door and it opened. Ash, Sam, and Lorenzo cautiously peeked their heads inside the apartment. 

“You guys decent?” Ash asked.

“Yeah, come in,” Dan said. 

Lorenzo glanced over the spangly suit still in Dan’s lap. “What in heaven’s name is that?” 

Dan frowned. “Nothing.” He folded the suit and placed it on the table. “You guys are here early.” 

Sam followed behind Ash, staring at Dan, and hiding most of her face behind a laptop. Her cheeks were bright red and she struggled to make eye contact. She caught a glimpse of the spangly suit on the table, but immediately turned away.

Dan was about to ask her what was up when he realized what she held. “Hey, that’s my laptop!” 

She scooted along the kitchen floor and passed the laptop to Dan. “Alex should not be allowed to be that sexy,” she said before turning to her computer chair. 

Dan raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“I watched all the videos you had on there,” she said, determinedly looking at her computer screen. “I don’t care if he’s in an 80s jumpsuit singing old covers and songs about boners, it should be illegal for him to look that good.” 

Dan blinked, exchanged a glance with Arin, then both of them burst out laughing. 

Sam lowered herself behind the monitor. “It’s not funny!” 

“I hope to god you have a crush on Alex now, because that’d be too funny,” Dan said. 

“I don’t have a crush on Alex!” 

Ash grinned as the took her seat next to Sam. “No, you just think about him while you diddle yourself in the shower.” 

“Ash!” 

Dan nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Arin nearly joined him.

Ash watched Arin, chewing on her lip. “It’s so weird to hear you laugh.” 

Arin slowed his laugh and wiped his eyes. “That so?”

“Yeah,” Ash said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ryland laugh before.” 

Arin immediately stopped laughing. “That’s. . . wow.” 

Dan lowered his gaze. “I’m not surprised.” 

“It’s a bit strange to see you with your hair down too,” Lorenzo said. “Though I guess I’m less likely to call you Ryland with your hair like that.” 

Dan caught a glimpse of a hair tie on the table. “Here.” He picked up the tie and pulled his hair back in a loose ponytail. “I’ll add to the effect.” 

Sam blushed harder and pressed her face into her hands. Dan only grinned wider. 

The door burst open and Kamal marched in, a pile of books in his hands. “What’s up, bitches?” 

Ash raised an eyebrow. “What’s all that?” 

“Books for Ryland,” Kamal said. “Er, Arin. Whatever his name is.” 

Arin eyed him. “What books?” 

“About MOBAs, generally and Killcore specifically,” Kamal said. “You might not be Boogerboss, but I refuse to let that detail keep us from winning Blood Match. You’ve got two weeks.” He dumped the books in front of Arin. “Get studying.” 

Arin glanced over the books with a frown. “Do you really believe I can build up enough skill to help you guys win in two weeks? I suck at video games. It’s part of my schtick.” 

Ash blinked. “You have a schtick?” 

“Yeah,” Arin said. “That’s my job. I play video games for a living, and part of the appeal is that I’m not terribly good at it, or at least it appears that way.” 

“You play video games for a living?” Kamal said. “What, eSports? I thought you guys said you weren’t good at it.” 

Arin exchanged a glance with Dan. “We’re let’s players, actually,” he said.

“We run a YouTube show called Game Grumps,” Dan said. “Which basically consists of Arin playing video games and screaming at them while I laugh and make dick jokes.” 

“So that’s how you got Markiplier to appear half-naked in one of your videos!” Sam blurted. Everyone looked at her, and she buried her face in her hands again. “Forget I said anything.” 

“You guys know Markiplier?” Kamal asked, appalled. 

“You’ve seen Markiplier half-naked?” Ash chimed in.

Arin bit his lip. “It’s really weird to be in a world where Markiplier exists, but Game Grumps doesn’t.” 

“It’s also weird to be in a world where Ryland is ever amused enough to smile, let alone laugh,” Ash said. “Trust me, none of us are comfortable here.” 

Arin frowned, glancing back at Dan. Dan just shrugged. Arin shook his head and stood, heading for Ryland’s chair. 

“Oh, hell no,” Kamal said. “No knitting videos for you. Get to studying.” 

“The best way for me to get better at a game is to fucking play it,” Arin said. “So if you really want me to have any chance at helping you guys at Blood Match, let me do this.” 

Dan stood. “Arin.” 

“Let me do this, Dan,” Arin said, meeting Dan’s eyes. “I can’t just stand back and pretend this isn’t important.” 

Dan pressed his lips together, but nodded. He turned back to the pile of papers on the kitchen table. 

Then he found a pen, some blank paper, and started writing.


	4. Chapter Four

Brian led Alex and Ryland down a short hallway, then faced a door. The hall ended in darkness, which unsettled Alex.

“This is the Grump Space,” Brian said. 

Ryland raised an eyebrow. “The what?” 

Brian took a deep breath. “I’m guessing they don’t have Game Grumps where you come from.”

Ryland pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure I even want to know.” 

Brian rolled his eyes, then opened the door. 

And Alex stared in awe.

It was. . . it was almost like a theme park, with neon Japanese signs all over the walls. A case of trophies lined one wall. There were game machines, figurines, a big kitchen, a Portal themed bathroom. . .

“What the hell is this?”

“Our office,” Brian said. “This is where we make Game Grumps, Steam Train, Dream Daddy. . .”

Alex blinked at him.

“Let’s just say this is where we get most of our work done,” Brian said. “I’ll show you around later, but right now we’ve got more important things to address.” 

Ryland crossed his arms. “Like what?” 

“Like me letting the rest of the team know what’s going on,” Brian said. “Look, in this world, Arin and Dan essentially keep this whole team together. Arin started Grumps, and helped fund and develop pretty much every project that’s come from it, which is a lot. He’s essentially the boss to all of us, but more than that, he and Dan are close friends with everyone here. We’re more than a team. We’re a family. And since Arin and Dan are also fucking goofballs, it’s not going to be easy to convince the team that you’ve. . . you’ve somehow replaced them. They’re going to think it’s a massive joke.” 

“Like you and Suzy did,” Ryland said, narrowing his eyes. 

“It’s probably something Arin and Dan would do, admittedly,” Brian said. “Though if Arin ever caught Suzy crying, he would have stopped immediately.” He shook his head. “Honestly, the fact that you didn’t say anything after she started crying yesterday was enough proof to me that you obviously aren’t Arin.” 

Ryland snorted. “Sorry to disappoint. We’re not exactly happy being here either.” 

“I realize that,” Brian said. “And like I said, we’re going to try everything we can to get you home. . . assuming I can figure out how you got here in the first place.” 

“So in the meantime you’re just going to parade us around in front of the other employees here like some kind of circus?” Ryland said. 

“I’m not parading you around,” Brian said, glaring. Ryland took a step back at the sudden anger on the other man’s face. “But if I don’t have you there. . . if the team doesn’t see some kind of proof in your behavior, no one will believe me. I’m sorry it’ll be uncomfortable, but it’ll also be brief and then we can get started on finding you a way home.” He waved a hand. “Follow me.” He headed deeper into the office.

Ryland huffed.

Alex gripped his shoulder. “Come on, Ry, it’ll just be for a little bit. Don’t we owe these people an explanation?”

“Do we?” Ryland spat. “And what explanation do we even have? It’s not like we did this on purpose.”

“It’s just for a little bit,” Alex said. “We can get through it.” 

Ryland glared at him, but when Alex dropped his puppy dog eyes, Ryland’s face immediately softened. “Fine.” He followed after Brian.

Alex followed absolutely star struck. More Ninja Sex Party and Starbomb posters lined the wall, as well as more plushies, and even figurines of the band members. 

“Holy shit,” Ryland said, reaching for one shelf. “Are these Starbomb Amiibos?” 

“They’re fan made, but yeah,” Brian said. 

Holy crap.

They turned down a lighted hall and Alex’s breath just left him.

“That’s us,” Ryland said, pointing. 

Alex glanced at the wall and saw blown up comic images of Dan and Arin, Dan singing and Arin grinning. 

Down the hall, hundreds of cubbies lined each side of the wall, backlight by a soft white light. Each cubby held a Skylander or Amiibo figure or a plushie, many of which were obviously fan made, as they were Starbomb, Ninja Sex Party, and other people that Alex didn’t recognize. The left side was completely full, and the right was nearly the same. 

This whole situation was so surreal it threatened to break him. 

They entered the main office. Half a dozen or more people lay scattered on bean bag chairs, at tables, or on couches. They all looked up and grinned when the three of them entered the room.

Brian held out his hands. “Before anyone says anything, we’re calling a meeting. Everyone in the meeting room, please.” 

Alex caught a glimpse of Suzy in one corner of the room. She stole a quick glance at Ryland, frowning deeply, then turned and followed the rest of the group into a back hallway.

Not a single other person in the room looked familiar. 

Alex swallowed hard. All these people thought they were looking at Arin and Dan. How would they react when they found out they weren’t their friends? Alex said they owed them an explanation, but seeing them now, he wondered if he was brave enough to deliver it. 

He reached for Ryland’s wrist. Ryland didn’t pull away. 

Brian gripped both their shoulders. “We’ll get through it, guys. Come on.” He led them down the far hall. 

The meeting room had couches lining the walls, a fancy center coffee table, a massive big screen TV mounted on the wall, and white board filled with notes that Alex didn’t understand. The rest of the walls were plastered with posters proudly proclaiming “Game Grumps LIVE” with dates and cartoon pictures of Alex and Ryland.

Alex winced. Dan and Arin, not him and Ryland. 

It was strange seeing all the pictures of Arin. In them he was grinning, gripping hands with Dan, shouting comically at a video game, and usually accented in some kind of pink either on his clothes, the background he was in, or sometimes even in his hair. 

Despite the fact that the cartoon Arins obviously looked like Ryland, not a single one of them reminded Alex of him. They were too. . . happy. Even the ones where he was screaming at a game looked too. . . emotive to be the Ryland Alex knew. 

A big part of him wished Ryland could be that happy, though another part whispered that that was probably impossible. 

Brian waved to the small couch near the front of the room, and Alex and Ryland sat down on it. 

None of the people in the room were smiling anymore. Suzy had huddled in the far corner near a brown-haired man with a thick beard. He gently rubbed her back. She caught Alex’s gaze for a brief moment, then turned away.

A man with short brown hair glanced at Alex and Ryland, then turned to Brian. “Brian, what’s going on?” 

“We have a serious problem on our hands,” Brian said. He waved to Alex and Ryland. Alex sunk into the couch, trying to make himself small. “This isn’t Dan and Arin.” 

The short-haired man stared at Alex and Ryland. He let out a little chuckle. “Very funny, Brian. What, are we being filmed? You doing an early April Fools or something?” 

Brian crossed his arms. “It isn’t a joke, Ross. As much as we wish it was.”

“He’s serious, Ross,” Suzy said, her voice cracking. “That’s. . . that’s Alex and Ryland. From Good Game.” 

Everyone in the room stared at Alex and Ryland. 

Alex shrunk further into the couch, immediately regretting letting Brian bring him here for this explanation. Ryland turned red and looked away. 

Ross sat back in his seat. “That. . . doesn’t make sense.” 

“And yet, here we are,” Brian said. “Can’t change that fact.” 

Alex drew his knees up to his face, trying to hide. He hated this. He was like an exhibit being displayed for a crowd of bewildered onlookers. He reached for Ryland’s wrist again, gripping it tight, shaking.  
Ryland, surprisingly, slithered out of Alex’s grip and grabbed his hand instead. He shook too. 

“Somehow we have lost the Dan and Arin we know and we have the characters they play on YouTube Red,” Brian said. “Don’t ask me how, because frankly, the how isn’t important. What is important is that everyone knows and we behave appropriately until we get all this figured out and get our boys home.” 

Ross crossed his arms. “What does that mean?” 

Brian shrugged. “What would Dan and Arin do?” 

Ross scrunched up his nose like he was going to say something sarcastic, but he quickly shot a look at Alex and Ryland and the sarcastic expression faded away. He sighed, sitting back. “Fair enough.” 

Alex released Ryland’s hand and gripped his knees. He couldn’t take it. This was just idiotic. He didn’t belong here among all these weird strangers giving him odd looks of fear and sympathy. He didn’t belong in a world where his band was so successful he had his walls lined with fan art. He wanted to be home, sleeping on his stupid lumpy sofa bed, coaching his team, telling Kamal he smelled like onions, giving Ryland advice on how to help Lorenzo get better, acting like a tennis coach for Sam’s benefit, reminding Ash that they were family—

Alex gripped his throat, suddenly gasping for air.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Alex!” Ryland gripped Alex’s shoulders. “Calm down, buddy, calm down.” 

Brian reached out like he wanted to help, but stopped himself and drew back, chewing his lip. He settled for sitting on the arm of the couch and resting a hand on Alex’s shoulder.   
Alex gripped his head. “I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go _home.”_

“I know, I know,” Ryland said. He rubbed his back, trying to calm him. But he didn’t offer any further words of encouragement. 

Brian glanced out around the room. “Everyone, just. . . go back to your normal routine, whatever that is right now.” 

Everyone exchanged glances with each other before slowly filing out of the room. Suzy snuck by without looking at either of them. The only person who stuck behind was the heavily bearded person who had been sitting next to her.

Brian glanced at the guy. “Barry?” 

“You seriously don’t know anything about what’s going on?” Barry asked. “Aren’t you a theoretical physicist?” 

“Theoretical physics employs math to explain and predict natural phenomenon,” Brian said. “You use theoretical physics to create the E=MC2 equation, not explain the sudden disappearance and replacement of your best friend and band mate with a character he plays on TV.” 

Barry crossed his arms. “So. . . What do we do?” 

Brian glanced back at Alex. He was still struggling to breathe, desperate to keep his panic under control. He focused on Ryland’s hand rubbing his back, hoping that’d keep him grounded in reality and frustrated that it didn’t seem to be working. 

Brian gripped Alex’s shoulder. “I wish I had more answers for you ah, Alex,” he said. “I sincerely wish I did. I know it sucks being here.” 

“That’s an understatement,” Ryland said, his voice dripping with anger. 

“But we’re going to do everything we can for you guys,” Brian said, narrowing his eyes at Ryland. “I know it’s hard, but just trust us, okay?” 

Alex tried to speak, but his voice only squeaked instead. 

Ryland gripped Alex’s other shoulder and turned to Brian. “Look, is there somewhere we can go and just. . . be away from everyone while Alex calms down? This isn’t helping.” 

“Arin’s office,” Barry said. “It’s more isolated and he’s got that lounge thing that uh. . . Alex can lay on.” 

“Great,” Ryland said. He gently helped Alex to his feet, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Alex leaned into his friend’s embrace, desperate for anything familiar. Ryland met Barry’s eyes. “Take us there.” 

Barry and Brian nodded and headed out of the meeting room. Alex let Ryland lead him away.

“I know this obviously isn’t a priority,” Barry said. “But what are we going to do about the upcoming Game Grumps LIVE show?” 

Alex perked his ears a little.

Brian shrugged. “We’ll keep it going for now, but if can’t figure out something soon, we’ll cancel it.” He chanced a quick glance at Alex. Alex looked away, burying his face in Ryland’s shoulder. Brian sighed. “Especially since we’re trying that new format with the mini NSP concert at the end. I can’t ask Alex and Ryland to do it no matter how much they look like Dan and Arin.”

Ryland shifted at Alex’s side, tightening his grip on Alex’s shoulder. “Why not?”

Alex shot a look at Ryland, confused. 

Brian lifted an eyebrow. “Are you fucking serious?” 

“What would we have to do?” Ryland asked.

“You’d have to be the complete opposite of what you are for starters,” Brian said, obviously annoyed. “Arin is an unstoppable ball of raging emotions, constant grinning, and bottomless love. He’s a voice actor with a character for any situation and an optimist with at least the level of energy Alex has, if not more. He completely commands a crowd when he’s on stage, whether he’s doing improv or rapping. And we’re doing a mini-concert after the live show this time. That means Alex would be singing Ninja Sex Party songs on stage. And from what I’ve gathered watching Good Game, he can’t sing.” 

Alex lifted his face and attempted a glare, but he was sure it didn’t come out right. “I can sing.” 

“Sam thinks your karaoke sucks.” 

“Of course it does,” Alex said. “I only karaoke when I’m drunk. It’s. . .” He frowned. “It’s one of the few excuses I have to sing in public again, even if it sucks.” 

Brian lifted an eyebrow. “Then why did your band break up?” 

Alex shut his eyes tight, regretfully pulling up the old memories. “I started that band,” he said. “It was supposed to be a comedy band like. . . like your band, and my bandmates were on board with the idea at first. But when it wasn’t working out, they decided they wanted to become more ‘serious.’ There’s no room in a ‘serious’ band for a character like Mr. Sexbang. So they kicked me out and moved on.” 

Ryland glanced at him, wide-eyed. Alex had never talked about the band in the past. What was the point? He just buried his feelings away and ignored them. But. . . maybe now was the time to finally explore that part of his past.

Brian frowned. “I. . . I’m sorry to hear.”

“I never stopped singing,” Alex said. “I just. . . I don’t do it when anyone’s listening.” He turned away from Ryland.

Brian and Barry exchanged glances. “Regardless,” Brian said. “You’d be taking on skills, experience, and personalities that aren’t your own, when you’re already stuck in a world that’s seriously tearing you down. I’m not going to ask you to take their places at a show. We can cancel it if we have to.” 

Barry looked less convinced, but he shrugged. Brian turned the corner and they all entered an office.

The walls were draped in boxed toys from all kinds of crazy fandoms. Alex blinked at them, though he struggled to focus enough to see where they all came from. A desk and a two-monitor set up sat in one corner. A long lounge covered in pillows, sheets, and topped with a giant smiling Pikachu plushie fit into a small alcove sat behind it. Ryland led Alex to the lounge and sat him on it. Alex gripped the Pikachu and huddled in one corner of the lounge. 

Brian went to the computer. “Here. If you’re interested in what we do in Game Grumps, or what Arin and Dan are like, watch this playlist.” He pulled up the Game Grumps Intro Playlist on YouTube. “This’ll give you a basic idea of the community they’ve built.” 

“Thanks, I guess,” Ryland said. 

“I’ll come back and check on you about lunch time or so,” Brian said. “We’ll get some food, and hopefully we’ll have some answers. Feel free to go exploring if you want, once Alex has calmed down a bit.”   
Alex huddled deeper into the corner. 

“Brian,” Barry said, his voice suddenly dark.

Brian frowned. “What?” 

“I just thought of something,” Barry said. “If Alex and Ryland are here. . . where are Dan and Arin?” 

Alex exchanged a glance with Ryland.

Brian took a deep breath. “I suppose logic would dictate that they’re in the Good Game. . . dimension, or whatever,” he said. “Assuming you could apply any level of logic to this situation.” 

Barry rubbed the skin between his eyes. “God help them.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Fuck!” Arin shouted at the screen for the umpteenth time. “This shit’s fucking impossible. How does Ryland do this?” 

Dan glanced up from the computer in his lap. Arin had been playing pretty much nonstop since the team had left last night and hadn’t gotten very far with his skills. Dan wasn’t surprised. Ryland had been playing pretty much his whole life. Arin wasn’t going to get that level of skill in 24 hours. “You don’t have to do that, you know.” 

“Like hell I don’t,” Arin said and started up a new game. “I’ll get this shit down if it kills me.” 

“Please don’t go that far, you asshole.” 

“You know what I mean,” Arin said. He glimpsed quickly over at Dan. “And what are you doing?” 

“Research,” Dan said.

“Research,” Arin repeated. “About what?” 

“Our predicament.” 

Arin eyed him. “What, you just googled ‘Help I somehow got stuck in the real-life universe of a character I play on TV’?” 

“Basically.”

Arin paused, letting his character die. “Did you actually find anything?” 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yes, Arin, I found a six local support groups for Actors Who Have Switched With Their Characters and a Windows ’98 reset code to make everything go back to normal. Of course I didn’t find anything.” 

Arin wheeled around. “Then what are you really doing?” 

“Don’t worry about it.”

Arin narrowed his eyes. He stood up and glanced at Dan’s computer. He had a Yelp entry up from a place in LA. He raised an eyebrow. “That’s your voice coach. The one you use at home.” 

Dan gave him a mild glare. “I told you not to worry about it.” 

Arin crossed his arms. “This isn’t you giving up and planning your new life here, is it?” 

Dan tilted his head and gave Arin his most incredulous look.

Arin sighed. “Fine then, if you’re not doing that, then what are. . .” His eyes suddenly grew wide. “Oh. Ohhhh. That’s not for you. That’s for Alex.” He frowned. “But--”

“Alex so desperately wanted to be a musician,” Dan said. “I know what that’s like. And the only reason I got to where I am now is because. . . well. . .” He met Arin’s eyes. “I had someone in my corner. Alex doesn’t have anyone in his corner so. . . while I’m here, I might as well do something useful.” 

Arin rested a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Do you really think you could get him the help he needs to get back into music?” 

“Won’t know if I don’t try,” Dan said. 

Someone’s phone went off near Ryland’s computer. 

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Did your phone just go off?” 

“It’s not mine,” Arin said. He walked to the computer and lifted the phone. “I have Ryland’s phone.”

“Really?” 

“You probably have Alex’s somewhere around here,” Arin said. He glimpsed through the phone, then lifted a brow. A slow grin overcame his face.

Dan narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like that look. That’s your ‘This is going to be so evil’ look. Who texted you?” 

“Steamin’.” 

Dan blanked. “What.” 

“He says I’m late for some more documentary stuff,” Arin said, his grin widening. “Apparently they need to do a few extra scenes to fill in space.” He started typing away at the phone. 

“Arin, please don’t tell me you’re planning on going there,” Dan said. “It’s not your place.” 

“If you can try and make Alex’s life better by opening opportunities for him to sing again, I can damn well make Ryland’s life better by fucking around with Steamin’,” Arin said. “All I’d have to do is fucking be myself. That’d be enough to get him off Ryland’s back.” He pressed SEND on the phone. “I wonder if Ryland has anything pink in his wardrobe? That’d really throw Steamin’ off.” 

“I’m pretty sure Ryland has exclusively muted tones and 90% long sleeved shirts,” Dan said, his voice darkening. 

Arin frowned. Though Dan and Arin had never outright said it, the implications of an entire wardrobe of almost exclusively long-sleeved shirts were pretty massive. Dan had already noticed several fans picked up on what that could mean for Ryland’s coping habits.

It didn’t mean that much when Ryland was just a character, but now that they knew he was a real person. . .

Arin rubbed the back of his head. “I might be going through Ryland’s room at some point after all.” 

Dan sighed. “Deal with Steamin’ first.” 

Arin checked through his wallet. “I’ve got some cash. I’ll just pick up a pink shirt on the way over.” He grinned at Dan. “Revenge tastes sweeter in pink.” 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Just don’t do anything too stupid, okay?” 

Arin ran his hands through his hair, floofing up his waves of locks. “No such thing.” He bounced a goofy salute off his forehead and headed out. “See you tonight!” He shut the door. 

Dan took a deep breath, then glanced over the coffee table. Alex’s phone lay on top of a bag of weed. Dan wrinkled his nose, frowning. He picked both up, staring at the small bag. He had gotten used to the fading smell of weed in the apartment, especially since Alex wasn’t here to smoke it, but seeing it in front of him. . . 

He shook his head, got up, and headed for the bathroom. A minute later, the weed bag was successfully flushed down the toilet. 

Never again. 

He plopped back down on the couch and opened up Alex’s phone. He chewed his lip. He shouldn’t be snooping, but like with Arin and his nonsense with Steamin’, Dan couldn’t seem to help it.   
Just like with the messages that regularly popped up in the show, many of Alex’s message screamed of a desperate need to connect. And they were often ignored too. The top messages were from members of his team, and Ryland seemed to be the only person who regularly responded. He suspected Lorenzo was a regular responder too, except the older man wrote absolutely novels in his texts, so he didn’t have many responses. 

Ash’s last single text to him was about day drinking, from months ago, despite the fact that Alex had sent dozens of texts since. 

The others only had responses in the group text. 

Aside from the team, there was one more text thread near the top of his messages. 

The name was simply “Dad.” 

Dan skimmed the text messages. Alex had written long, detailed texts about what he had been doing lately, what it was like living with Ryland, what his job entailed, and just little tidbits about his life. Many of the texts felt like lies, bending the truth to make his life look better than it actually was.

The last text in the thread was from his father, sent a whole month previously.

_I’m sorry Alex, but I can’t have your reputation hurting this family and my company anymore. I haven’t made it official yet, but I will legally disown you if you don’t stop texting and calling. You’re upsetting your mother. Don’t contact us again._

Dan cringed, like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Alex’s line about his father in the qualifiers episode about his father not taking his calls had seemed like a sad, but funny throwaway joke, especially since later that episode Lorenzo had claimed them all to be family. But looking at this text now. . .

Dan had always been lucky that his family had supported everything he did, from music to Game Grumps, to the point where they regularly visited his shows, bought all their merch, and proudly spoke of his professions to their friends. Hell, the fans loved the fact that he was so well supported and as a result, his family had become minor celebrities. Avi was a minor legend in the Grumps universe, and his grandmother had gotten a standing ovation at one of his recent shows. 

What would life had been like if he hadn’t had that support? If his parents literally disowned him and even threatened legal action? 

No wonder Alex was so desperate to hang on to people. Nearly everyone he knew threw him out. 

How did he have such blinding optimism in the face of all that? 

And why did Ryland stick with him when everyone else left? 

Dan took a deep breath. “Birds of a feather.” Ryland was desperate to be loved too. They just had different ways of coping. 

The phone beeped at him. It was a text from Sam.

_SAM:  
Hey, you doing anything today? _

Dan blinked. He started typing back.

_ALEX:  
Are you asking Dan or Alex?_

_SAM:  
Dan, you idiot. _

Dan rolled his eyes.

_ALEX:  
I’m contemplating the meaning of the universe, but other than that, not much. Why?_

_SAM:  
Come karaoking with me._

Dan furrowed his brow. What? Karaoke? What the hell was she on about? He typed back.

_ALEX:  
Are you asking me on a date? _

It took a few minutes for Sam to respond.

_SAM:  
I’m not asking you on a date, you asshole. I just want to see how much of your singing skills are your own or Autotune’s. _

Dan glared at the phone. 

_ALEX:  
Are you seriously questioning my singing skills?_

_SAM:  
Videos aren’t always a good indication of skill. _

Dan huffed. “Questioning my skills. . .” He prepped a response, but before he could send it, Sam wrote again.

_SAM:  
Also, I feel like you have a pretty good understanding of Ryland and Alex and I. . . don’t. And I should. They’re my teammates and my friends and I’ve obviously been doing this all wrong. Maybe you can enlighten me._

Dan bit his lip. Okay, maybe she had a point with that one. And if he and Arin really wanted to try and improve Alex and Ryland’s lives while they were here, surely this would be a part of that. He deleted the angry response and typed a new one.

_ALEX:  
Fine. Just send me the address and I’ll be there._

Sam sent him the address for a local karaoke bar with a quick “see you there.” Dan sighed. He stood, pocketed the phone, and glanced around. 

He should probably change.

Half an hour later and freshly showered, Dan emerged from the bathroom wearing Alex’s kissy print polo and had his hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. He left a message for Arin, double checked the address on Alex’s phone, then headed out. 

He hoped he was doing the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get a whole lot longer now. Eventually chapters will focus not just on one side of the fandom (Good Game or Game Grumps) but likely one character. So which part do you want to see next? Arin messing with Steamin’? Back to Alex and Ryland? Or Dan’s Karaoke? Let me know!


	6. Chapter Six

Alex woke up to Ryland laughing. He peaked his eyes open, not sure what to do about this extremely rare occurrence. 

A wave of pain laced his forehead and he gripped his head. Fuck, what was that? He attempted to readjust his blurry vision.

He was extremely disappointed to discover that it wasn’t Ryland laughing, but Arin laughing on a video that Ryland was watching. Then he heard his own voice. 

“Just reading a couple of these randomly off the list,” Dan said from the screen. “‘Big Dicks’, ‘I love fucking bitches’, ‘make the peepees’, and ‘fart chamber’.” 

Arin burst out laughing. “And there’s also ‘eat healthy’,” he added. Dan then started talking about a ridiculous article about Bruno Mars being gay, with Arin laughing the whole time.

Alex tightened his grip on the Pikachu plush, a sudden nausea hitting his stomach, listening to a laugh that should have belonged to Ryland. He could only think of two, maybe three incidences where he had actually heard Ryland laugh, and none of those times were nearly as vibrant or as long as Arin’s laughing. Hearing Arin laugh so heartily and so easily just broke his heart.

That should be Ryland. 

“This guy is a fucking idiot,” Ryland muttered as he watched. “The stupidest stuff makes him laugh.” 

“At least he sounds happy,” Alex mumbled. 

Ryland turned, his expression instantly concerned. “Hey. You’re awake. Feel better?” 

“I did, until I heard you laughing.” He shook his head. “Arin laughing.” 

Ryland glared at the screen. “It’s stupid. He laughs at utter nonsense. He’s like a big fucking child.” 

“I wish you laughed more,” Alex said, staring at the floor.

Ryland turned to Alex. He frowned. “What do I have to laugh about?” 

“I don’t know,” Alex said. “But I wish I could find it.” He paused, fighting back another wave of nausea. “I just want you to be happy.”

Ryland watched him a moment, then turned back to the screen. “Sorry.” 

Alex watched his friend, still feeling slightly overwhelmed by this whole crazy experience. What made it so easy for Arin to laugh and so hard for Ryland to? Why was Arin so happy? He stood up shakily and glanced over Ryland’s shoulder to watch the remainder of the video. 

Something about the pair of Grumps just. . . reeked of happiness. Contentment. Arin and Dan were so easy with each other. Everything they talked about just flowed naturally. And yeah, they talked about the dumbest shit sometimes, but nearly everything they discussed led to huge bouts of laughter. Even when Arin was screaming at a game, Dan was laughing and keeping the whole mood light. 

Did Alex ever have that kind of relationship with Ryland? He wasn’t sure. They were super close – probably closer to each other than anyone else, including family – but they didn’t have the same easiness. He didn’t know what made them so close. Maybe just the fact that they were both lonely and needed the company. They had both been tossed aside by so many people for so long, it was nice to be in a relationship where that wouldn’t happen. They had become friends out of desperation, though it had certainly changed since then.

At least, Alex hoped that it had.

He gripped Ryland’s shoulder, trying to stop the shaking, hoping Ryland didn’t notice his suddenly clammy hands. He found himself wishing he and Ryland had what Dan and Arin had. 

“Everyone fucking loves this guy,” Ryland said suddenly.

Alex blinked. “What?” 

“Like, the Grumps, or whatever,” Ryland said. “They have a huge, devoted fan base. You look on Reddit or Tumblr and people just leak with praise for this channel. There’s multiple threads about how these stupid videos helped people during mental illness issues, or difficult events in their lives. Tumblr has long threads about all the good things Arin has done for his family and friends and charities. Visit their Facebook page and a single picture of Arin making a face gets thousands of likes and a bunch of comments swooning over him.” He sat back in the chair and made a face like he wanted to say more, but he kept silent.

Alex understood anyway. It hurt. Arin was so well loved. Ryland felt unlovable. Alex knew that wasn’t true, but he had never really been able to get Ryland to understand that. He squeezed Ryland’s shoulder a little tighter, willing him to realize that people loved him. 

Ryland surprised him by gripping his hand. He shook.

God, Alex hated the shaking.

“I want to try taking their places at that Game Grumps Live thing,” Alex said suddenly.

Ryland glanced up at him. “What?” 

“I don’t want them to have to cancel it because of us,” Alex said. “It’s not fair to the fans or the venue or any of that.” He formed a fist with his free hand, trying to ignore the mild tremors in it. “I could do it. I could sing in front of a crowd again.” 

“And improv during a gaming event?” Brian’s voice echoed in the room. Both Alex and Ryland turned toward the door. Brian stood by one wall of toys, arms crossed, his face serious.

Ryland stood, much to Alex’s surprised. “I put myself out there for that stupid stream. I could do it.” 

“But could you act like Arin?” Brian challenged. 

Ryland glanced back at the screen. Determination washed over his face and he glared at Brian. “I could learn.” 

“And you?” Brian asked Alex.

“Acting like Dan wouldn’t be a problem,” Alex said. “I’d just. . . be myself.” 

“And that would be enough.” 

Ryland stood near Alex. “I’ve been watching those videos for hours. Alex and Dan are a lot alike. Alex could do it.” 

Brian sized them up a moment, then his face softened. “But are you really comfortable doing it?” 

Alex met Ryland’s eyes. He had never seen such resolve in his eyes. 

“We’ll do it,” Ryland said. “It’s better than sitting around doing nothing. At least it’d be something to work toward.”

“Good,” Brian said smirking. “Because I was just thinking Alex might benefit from some vocal lessons while he’s stuck here.” 

Alex stood straight, his eyes wide. The sudden shock of Brian’s comment sent his stomach roiling again. “You’re serious?” 

“I am,” Brian said. “I’m not much of a singer, but I know enough about how Dan sings. I can coach. And I figure it’s better than you sitting around while we try to figure out how to get you home.” 

Alex stood still, stunned. Singing lessons? From someone in a successful band? It was too good to be true. 

But would he be leaving Ryland behind? “What about Ryland?” 

“I’ll coach Ryland, if he’s up for it,” Barry said, walking into the room. “I might even get Suzy to help if we’re lucky.” 

Ryland lowered his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt her.” 

Alex shot Ryland a look. He wore a sober face. 

“Please don’t bring her in this until we know whether or not we can get her husband back,” Ryland said. “There’s no reason to hurt her further.” 

Barry nodded. “Fair enough.”

Alex took a deep, shaky breath, pushing aside the feeling in his stomach. Ryland would be taken care of. “So when do we start?” 

Brian grinned. “No time like the present.”


	7. Chapter Seven

Arin stood in front of Steamin’s McMansion wearing probably the most perfect shirt ever. The front had a long pink ribbon winding around the four original Sailor Senshi transformation wands and Sailor Moon’s compact transformer. White text on the ribbon read “Bitches that Slay Together, Stay Together.” 

Thank God for Hot Topic. 

It wasn’t the full-on pink he had been hoping for, but it was exactly the kind of thing he wanted, so he couldn’t resist picking it up. If he was lucky, maybe he could look one up at home. It was too good.  
He frowned and took a deep breath. Assuming he got home. 

But now wasn’t the time to think about that. He pressed the doorbell. 

Steamin’ answered with his usual fake grin, his camera entourage floating around behind him in their usually hipster clothing. “Hey, buddy!” he said, holding his arms out for a hug. But then he noticed Arin’s shirt and his arms dropped to his sides. “Uh. . . nice shirt?” 

Arin grinned, which seemed to throw Steamin’ off even more. He ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks. Saw it online and just couldn’t resist.” 

Steamin’ eyed him as if he couldn’t understand what Ryland would be looking at online that made him come across such a shirt. “Uh. Right. Um. Come on in.” 

“So what are we working on today?” Arin said. “More scenes that make me look like a total asshole?” 

The cameramen traded glances.

Steamin’ paused, glancing anxiously at the camera. “Dude, I would never make you look like an asshole.” He laughed nervously. 

Arin feigned shock. “Oh, I’m sorry, is that something I should have kept off camera? My bad. Wasn’t thinking.” He flashed another grin. “I meant, are we doing more scenes talking about our awesome childhood friendship? You know, how you got me into DOTA and all? Or maybe we could talk about that fake swatting your team got during last month’s stream?” 

Steamin’ glared at him. “You fucking idiot.” 

Arin drew a hand to his face. “Oh, oops. I said I wouldn’t say anything about that. My bad again.” 

Steamin’s glare mildly softened. “I was actually hoping you’d talk to us about your girlfriend.” 

Arin frowned, leaning back slightly, his cockiness at making Steamin’ horribly uncomfortable suddenly gone. Girlfriend? What the fuck was Steamin’ talking about? “What?” 

“Hi Ryland.” 

Arin looked up. Ash walked around the corner, looking somewhat uncomfortable. 

“Ash?” Arin blinked at her. “What are you doing here?” 

Ash waved a casual hand, though Arin noticed she was speaking a bit too fast. “Steamin’ invited me over, so I thought I’d take him up on it.” 

Arin narrowed his eyes, anger building in his chest. That little fucking asshole. Steamin’ was planning to bring Ryland and Ash together in front of a camera and fuck around with Ryland’s feelings. No doubt this dickwad knew first hand just how much Ryland felt unloved. Hell, Steamin’ contributed to that thought in a major way. 

Steamin’ was a worse human being than Arin gave him credit for. Preying on Ryland’s depression and sense of worthlessness for his own gain. What kind of person did that? It took a special kind of evil to stoop so low.

Actually. . . how did he even know there was anything at all between them? As far as Arin knew, there was only one tiny incident of them showing any interest in each other and that was in the privacy of Ryland’s own apartment. . .

A shock ran through Arin’s spine. In Ryland’s apartment. . . in front of Sam’s webcam. 

Steamin’ had hacked Ryland’s webcam before. There was nothing preventing him from doing it again. 

Shit. _Shit._ Was he doing it now? Had he hacked all their webcams? Did he see anything with the fact that he and Dan had somehow traded places with Ryland and Alex? Arin thought furiously. Did he have the webcam on while he had been practicing? He didn’t know. 

_Shit._

“Ryland?” Ash waved a hand in front of his face. “You okay?” 

Arin met her eyes, trying to ask with his gaze if she acknowledged the he was, in fact, Arin Hanson and not Ryland Tate. 

Her shrewd glance told him all he needed to know. She titled her head at Steamin’ behind her, a quick flash of anger crossing her face. 

He had an ally. 

Question was. . . should they play up the girlfriend thing or call Steamin’ out on his bullshit? There was no way to discuss it with Ash. 

She answered Arin’s question by slipping her hand into his. “Sorry I let it slip that we were dating,” she said. “It just kind of came out in conversation.” 

Arin squeezed her hand to let her know he understood. Damn, he hoped this didn’t mess with Ryland later. That was the exact problem he was trying to fix. “No problem, babe. There’s no reason to hide it anyway.” 

Steamin’s grin at their romantic banter was positively poison. Arin said a silent thank you that he was the one dealing with this and not Ryland.

“Think we could get a kiss or two for the camera?” Steamin’ asked, a snide grin still lingering on his face. “You know how audiences love a good star-crossed lover story.” 

Arin was just contemplating how he was going to convince himself to kiss someone who wasn’t Suzy when Ash angrily tightened her grip on his hand. Arin bit his tongue to stop himself from shouting. 

“What do you mean ‘star-crossed lovers’?” Ash asked.

“Well, we all know Ash is set to bench for Pure Digital,” Steamin’ said. “They just registered her and everything.” He shook his head, making a tsk tsk noise. “A shame there’s no one to replace you at eSports People.” 

Ash jumped. “They did _what?”_

“Oh, like you didn’t know,” Steamin’ said. “You signed the consent papers four days ago.” 

. . .Ah. Suddenly everything made sense. This wasn’t just about making Ryland horribly uncomfortable. It was about breaking up eSports People. Steamin’ wanted Ryland to rage about Ash’s betrayal for the camera and tear the team down before Blood Match. 

Ash turned to Arin, her expression frantic. “Arin—Ryland, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-- those papers-- I was supposed to call them after the qualifiers and decline, but I got busy with stuff-- I didn’t mean-- you know I’m staying with eSports People-- I would never--”

Ryland would probably storm out, shocked and betrayed, mentally documenting one more broken relationship because he was unlovable and taking this as further evidence that there was no point in believing in love. eSports People would disband and Steamin’ would win. Again. 

This was far more serious than the TV show made it out to be.

But Arin just whispered a quiet apology to Suzy, planted a gentle kiss on Ash’s forehead for effect and grinned at her. Ash stared at him, stunned. “Don’t worry, babe, we’ll make some calls and get it all figured out in time for Blood Match. The rest of the team will understand. Pure Digital doesn’t fucking own you.” 

The stunned look on Steamin’s face was worth every fearful minute of being stuck in this weird universe. 

Steamin’ glared. “Dude, she fucking betrayed your team!” 

“Shouldn’t a good player shop around for the best team to match their skills?” Arin asked with a grin and a wink. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Ash picked the right team in the end.” 

Steamin’s jaw dropped. “But--”

“Besides, we got some damn good snooping done,” Arin continued. “They’ll be the team to beat next year.”

“She signed a contract!” Steamin’ shouted. “She’s left your team!” 

“Gotta do something to make the visit look legit,” Arin said. “Thankfully it won’t take much effort to get the whole thing reversed. Just a little hiccup.” 

Steamin’s face turned bright red as he glared at the pair. “I—you--”

Arin pointed to the camera guys. “Do you need us for anything else? No?” He grinned and turned Ash toward the door. “Let’s head home then. We’ve got practice to do.” He waved a hand over his head at Steamin’. “See you at Blood Match!” They left without another word, leaving Steamin’ speechless. 

The moment they hit the sidewalk away from the front door, Arin heaved relief and removed his arm from Ash’s shoulder. “Fucking hell. That was way fucking harder than I expected it to be.” 

Ash stopped walking. 

Arin paused and frowned at her. “You okay?” 

“I. . .” Ash rubbed one arm. “I came here today because I thought I could do some snooping on Steamin’ and Lucid. I never would have come if I would have known he’d do all that stuff to Ryland.”

Arin rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I think Ryland would have reacted a lot differently if he was here instead of me.” 

Ash crossed the distance between them and gave Arin a hug. “Thank you for sparing him all that.” 

Arin blushed. “I. . . uh . . you’re welcome?” He took a step back when she broke the hug. “Let’s uh, keep that stuff to a minimum, please. I really don’t know you all that well and I’m a married man.” 

Ash’s eyes widened. “You’re married?” 

“Yes, to a girl I’ve been with nearly half my life,” Arin said. “She’s absolutely wonderful and. . .” Images of Suzy floated through his mind. Her smile, her laugh, her serious side and her goofy side. How amazing she looked fully decked out in makeup and how gorgeous she was without it. Those wonderful nights next to her, falling asleep to her gentle breathing. Her sense of humor, her dedication, her kindness. . .

“Arin?” 

Arin shook himself. “What?” 

Ash frowned. “You’re crying.” 

Arin touched a hand to his cheek and discovered yes, he was crying. He wiped the tears away. “. . .What if I never get to see her again?” 

Ash put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get you guys home.”

Fuck, he sure hoped so.


	8. Chapter Eight

“Oh good, you found the place,” Sam said.

Dan entered the bar with a slight sense of unease. The low lights, the pungent smell of alcohol, the absolutely butchering of “Fat-Bottomed Girls” on the short stage. . . all of it unsettled him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been in a bar.

Actually, yes he could, and he’d rather not relive the experience. At least he wasn’t here to drink, just sing. That made it a little bit better. 

“Wasn’t hard,” Dan said, taking a seat next to Sam. She smiled and took a swig of the mixed drink in her hand. He noticed she wasn’t in her normal sportswear style outfit. Instead she wore a dark blouse, gold earrings, and even some makeup. 

And a mild blush. 

Oh boy.

Dan lowered his gaze, trying to ignore Sam’s attempt to come on to him. “So. You wanted to hear me sing.” 

“I want to see if you’re as good as your videos suggest,” Sam said. She jerked a thumb at the half-drunk person on stage singing Queen. “Hopefully you’ll be better than this guy at least.” 

Dan wrinkled his nose in disgust. “That’s a guarantee. Have some faith.” 

“Right.” 

“So, got anything in mind?” Dan asked.

Sam sat back and waved a hand. “Whatever. You choose.” 

Dan smirked. “I would have thought you’d have a whole playlist for me to sing.” 

“I just want to see if you can _do_ it,” Sam said. “Every time we’ve taken Alex to a bar, he sings karaoke and he sucks ass at it. For all I know, you use Autotune to get those gorgeous songs down.”

Dan frowned. “I’m not Alex.” 

“You’re close enough,” Sam said. “Prove me wrong.”

Fat-Bottomed Girls Singer finished his song and took a drunken bow, nearly falling off the stage. A scattered few applauded. 

Dan took a deep breath. Sam wanted a show? She’d get a show. He stood and headed for the stage. 

“Stay off the stage, Alex!” someone shouted. Dan couldn’t tell who it was, but he flipped a general middle finger at the crowd. Ignoring the faint booing from the audience, Dan hopped up on stage, grabbed the mic, and pulled up one of the songs from his first cover album.

“Jump,” by Van Halen. 

More people booed as the music started, and a couple people claimed Alex couldn’t possibly tackle the song correctly, but Dan ignored them all. He closed his eyes, held the mic to his lips and dove into the song.  
__  
I get up!  
And nothing gets me down.  
You got it tough!  
I’ve seen the toughest all around.  
And I know!  
Baby, just how you feel.  
You gotta ro-o-o-o-oll with the punches, to get to what’s real.

He hit every note perfectly, working well the with soft background harmonies on the song. Every one of Alex’s detractors shut up instantly, and Dan caught a couple of them staring. 

The Sexbang side of Dan took over and threw himself into the full performance, the ghost of Danny Sexbang’s famed cape embracing his shoulders and his joy at leading a crowd radiating from his person. He belted out the complicated parts of the song, danced during the bridges, and confidently shouted a few “woos!” to get everyone going. By the time he neared the end of the song, several bar patrons had started clapping in time with the music, and nearly everyone watching had a big grin on their faces. 

He got far more than a few scattered claps when he finished. 

“Do another!” someone shouted. Several people suggested songs, though most of their suggestions were drowned out in the crowd noises.

Sam’s voice stood out from the rest. “Do Africa by Toto!” 

A few people groaned, but others encouraged the song choice. 

Dan pulled it up and dove into the song, enjoying the slower pace and greater harmonies. The chorus was where the real skill lay.  
__  
It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you.  
There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do.  
I bless the rains down in Africa.  
Gonna take some time to do the things we never have.

The first chorus he finished won him a bunch of whoops and hollers. When he finished the song, the whole bar exploded with cheers and requests.

This went on for nearly an hour, with Dan taking song requests and drawing in the crowd just like he would if he were performing with NSP. Some songs were familiar, others not so much, but he sang each one beautifully. He wasn’t sure how much of this new success was strictly due to his singing voice or due to the increasing inebriation of the crowd, but he basked in it nonetheless.

“My voice is getting tired, guys,” Dan said, grinning. He noticed Sam watching with a deep interest. “I think just one more and I’ll have to call it a night.” 

It really threw Dan off when someone called for him to do a Starbomb song. 

“What?” 

“Luigi’s Ballard!” someone called. “They just added it to the playlist!” 

Sure enough, Luigi’s Ballard was nestled in the playlist with four other Starbomb songs. Starbomb songs that he and Arin had written. 

Dan blinked at the screen. He knew they had put a Starbomb poster on set but it was supposed to be a joke for one episode. He didn’t expect Starbomb to actually exist in this world.

And if he, Brian, and Arin weren’t running it. . . who was?

“I can’t do all the parts.” 

“You can pick which part to do,” Sam called. “The rest will play on its own.” 

Dan took a deep breath. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too close to home. He pulled up the song, selected his part to sing, and dove into it.

Hearing some foreign voice do Arin’s rap stung. The lyrics were exactly what he expected, but somehow hearing someone else do Arin’s part was just. . . wrong. He managed to get through the song without screwing up, but his chest ached when he finished. 

He should be doing this with Arin. Hell, he should be home, writing the next Starbomb album and prepping for the upcoming Game Grumps LIVE show they were working on. He should be shooting stupid Game Grumps videos and posting nonsense on his Instagram. He should be doing the last three days of filming with YouTube Red and doing ADR. 

He should be doing anything but standing in a bar, singing familiar songs with unfamiliar voices, pretending to be someone he wasn’t. 

Scattered patrons called for more.

“Sorry guys, I need to rest my voice,” Dan said. He put the mic up and waved to the crowd with a thank you as they applauded him off stage. He ordered a water from the bar, then he sat down next to Sam.

Fuck, he didn’t even care anymore what she thought of his singing or if she really wanted to get to know Alex and Ryland better. He just wanted to be home. 

Sam smirked at him. “Well, good news. I don’t doubt your singing skills anymore.” 

All Dan could manage was a soft glare. 

Sam narrowed her eyes and moved like she was going to speak when three men approach the table. 

“Alex! How’ve you been buddy?” One of the men gripped Dan’s shoulder and grinned at him.

Dan eyed the man, trying to place where he saw his face before. He looked vaguely familiar. An extra in the show? Someone he knew in real life? A fan he interacted with? He wasn’t sure.

“And you are. . .?” 

“Dude, really?” the man said grinning. “You don’t remember your old band mates?” 

Adrenaline spiked up Dan’s spine. The ones who dropped Alex like dead weight. He narrowed his eyes. “Oh. Right. Hi.” 

One of the other guys grinned at him now. “Amazing job singing, Alex. Forgot you had it in you.” 

Dan crossed his arms. “That so?” 

“You did a great job with those songs, man,” the third guy said. “You’re quite the singer when you’re singing proper music.” 

As if NSP music wasn’t proper music just because it was comedy music. “Sure.” 

“You looking for a job?” the first guy said, obviously the leader. “We need a new singer. The old guy just wasn’t cutting it. I’m sure you’d love to get back into music and--”

_"Fuck off."_

Sam leapt in her seat next to Dan.

The leader of the group jumped too. “Dude, what the fucking hell? We just want--”

“Remind me again why you dropped me in the first place?” Dan asked, his voice dripping with anger.

The leader narrowed his eyes. “Because you wanted to use that stupid Sexbang persona. You wanted to do comedy.” 

“And who says I still don’t?” Dan said. “Just because I sing a couple of ‘serious’ songs at a karaoke bar, I suddenly want to drop a persona I’ve spent my whole life developing? If I wanted to do ‘serious’ work, I could do a lot fucking better than your stupid asses.” 

The leader glared at Dan. “The only way you have any chance at a singing career is with us. You know that’s fucking true.” 

“Then I’d rather not have one than be with you,” Dan spat. “Get the fuck out of my life.” 

The leader looked like he wanted to say something more, but one of the other band members waved Dan off. “Forget it, man. We’ll find someone else.” 

The leader spat at Dan’s feet and flipped him off as they left the bar. “Fuck you, Alex.” 

Dan snorted. “Good riddance.” 

“Dan, what the hell?” Sam said. “That could have been Alex’s big break back into music!” 

“No, it fucking wasn’t,” Dan growled. “They’d just drop him again the moment they decided he was no longer useful. The only reason they would have picked him up in the first place is because they know he’d do anything to get back into music. They’d just take advantage of him.” He sipped on his water. “And Alex doesn’t need those kind of toxic people in his life.” 

Sam narrowed her eyes. “You don’t know that much about Alex’s past. You can’t possibly predict that.”

Dan took a deep breath. “You wanted to know more about Alex, right? Well, here’s something. He’s afraid of losing people. Nearly everyone he’s known has tossed him out of their lives. Even his own fucking parents.” He closed his eyes. “His dad is even threatening to legally disown him, which is why Alex made that comment about him during your qualifier rounds.” Dan shook his head. “Ryland was probably the first person to stick with him this long, and that’s mainly because Ryland has the same fears about losing people.” 

Sam sat back, frowning. “I didn’t. . . I had no idea.” 

“They manifest the need differently,” Dan continued, not quite sure where these sudden insights into Alex and Ryland were coming from. But it felt so true. He kept at it. “Ryland just openly recognizes that if people are going to leave, they’re just going to leave. He doesn’t bother fighting for it because he doesn’t think he’s worth the fight. But Alex holds on tight to everyone. He’s terrified of being alone. And as a result, he doesn’t know how to remove toxic people from his life. And I’m not about to allow that toxicity to invade, no matter how great the short-term benefits might be.” 

Sam sunk into her chair, glancing at the glass in front of her. “. . .Is the team some of those toxic people?”

Dan sipped at his water, saying nothing. It wasn’t his place to help Sam and the others realize what good or bad they were doing to Ryland and Alex. 

Wasn’t it? 

Sam sipped at her own drink, suddenly quiet. “I need to be a better friend.” 

“It’s something we can all work on,” Dan said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG you guys, the last episode of Good Game Season One is out and I haven’t been able to watch it yet because I’m TEACHING. D= I hope it’s a good one. Alex and Ryland’s dark expressions on the thumbnail do not bode well. =(


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting quite dark, guys... trigger warning for alcohol withdrawals. Take care of yourselves everyone.

Alex finished a handful of vocal warmups with Brian in the room he called the Grump Room. He said the acoustics were good since it was designed for recording, though he also wanted the privacy. Alex had to admit the couch was nice. 

But by this point, he was seriously struggling to fight back the nausea. 

He couldn’t understand why his stomach was out of control. Was it something he ate? Nerves about this whole situation? Leftover from his panic attack? 

God, he could use a beer right now. But even the thought of one tied his stomach in knots. Weed maybe. That’d calm him down. He’d have to see if anyone had any after this session with Brian.

Brian glanced at him approvingly. “Sounds good,” he said. “Obviously it’s just warmups, but it’s a great start. You’re a lot better than Sam gives you credit for.” 

Alex nodded, wondering if he’d be able to sing a full verse without upchucking. 

“Do you actually know any NSP songs?” Brian asked.

Alex frowned. “I doubt it.” He gripped his stomach, willing it to calm down. “I never finished writing one.”

“Hmm.” Brian pulled out a song list. “We’ll try one of these then. If we have to, we can stick with just covers for this show. It is just an experiment after all.” He glanced through the list. “How about Africa, by Toto? That’s one of Dan’s better ones. There’s lots of good harmonies we can practice there.” 

Alex nodded, still fighting his stomach. He pulled the lyrics up on his phone. . . wait. This wasn’t his phone. “I think I have Dan’s phone.”

Brian plucked it from his hand and looked it over. “Yup. That’s Dan’s.” 

“Shit.” 

“You need the lyrics?” 

“I don’t. . . remember all the verses,” Alex said, his stomach roiling. 

“I’ll go print you a copy.” Brian left the room. 

Ugh. . . Alex wiped his brow with a shaky hand and it came back wet. What the fuck was going on? _God,_ he needed a drink.

He blinked, staring at the red timer on the wall. Oh, shit. _Shit._ Suddenly it clicked. 

He needed a bathroom. Now. He stood.

And his stomach rebelled. 

He dashed out of the Grump Room into the main office, catching a glimpse of Ross walking by. Ross frowned at him.

“You okay, dude?” Ross asked. “You look pale.” 

“Bathroom.” How Alex managed to say anything without tossing his cookies was anyone’s guess.

Ross pointed down the hall. Alex ran down it without another word. He barely made it to the bathroom and shut the door before his stomach expelled its entire contents into the toilet bowl. The resulting mess was mildly pink.

_God, please don’t let that be blood._

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. “Alex?” It was Brian. “You okay?” 

Alex opened his mouth to speak and another wave of vomit burst through. “Ugh. . .” 

Brian jiggled the handle, but apparently the door had locked when he shut it. “Alex? Answer me, please.” 

Alex reached over and pulled the lock open, his hand shaking violently. He immediately turned back to the toilet for another round. 

Brian opened the door, eyes wide. “Oh, shit.” He squatted near Alex. “Are you okay?” 

“Ry. . . Ryland. . .” Alex managed before dipping his head down again.

Brian was out of the bathroom in a flash. 

\-----  
“You’re getting the laugh down at least,” Barry said.

Ryland leaned his chin on one hand. They had been in the meeting room for nearly an hour as Barry worked on Ryland’s personality and delivery. They watched live action videos and Grumps videos with Arin while Ryland studied his habits and mannerisms. Barry had him mimicking Arin when he thought it was needed.

He wasn’t very good. Ryland was beginning to think that this may, in fact, be impossible. 

“But it feels so. . . fake.” Ryland said. “I know I’m not laughing because I really want to, and that’s spoiling the whole thing.”

“Well, what makes you laugh?” Barry asked.

Ryland sighed. “I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know what makes you laugh.”

“I don’t laugh,” Ryland said. “What’s there to laugh about?” 

Barry sat back in on his seat. “Alex doesn’t make you laugh?” 

“Alex makes me want to punch things,” Ryland said, crossing his arms.

“But you care about him.” 

“Of course I fucking care about him,” Ryland said. His eyes dropped to the floor. “I don’t have anyone else to care about.” 

Barry frowned, but before he could speak, the door burst open and Brian rushed in. “Ryland, I need you right now.” 

Ryland lifted an eyebrow. “Why?” 

“Alex is upchucking in the other room,” Brian said. “I. . . I’m worried he’s vomiting blood.” 

The shock that ran through Ryland’s body was unlike anything he had ever felt before. His vision blurred, his hands shook, and a film of sweat built on his brow. He leapt to his feet, stunned that he didn’t fall over from fear. “Take me to him.”

Brian led Ryland out of the room and they headed for the bathroom. Ryland heard Alex before he saw him and he quickened his pace. He turned the corner and entered the room.

Alex leaned over the toilet, his hair obscuring his face. He groaned. “God, just let me die. . .” 

“Don’t even joke about that,” Ryland said, kneeling next to Alex. He gently pulled Alex’s hair away from his face to keep him from getting vomit on it. “What the fuck did you eat that did this to you?” 

Alex met Ryland’s eyes, but said nothing. Ryland pressed a hand to Alex’s back. He shook badly. 

All the heat left Ryland’s face as the truth dawned on him. “Oh, god. . .”

“I’ll be fine. . .” Alex said. “I just. . . I need some time. . . I need. . .” 

“You’re about to say ‘weed’ or ‘booze’ and you don’t need any of that shit,” Ryland said. 

“Hair of the dog that bit you, Ryland. . .” Alex muttered. 

_“No,”_ Ryland said. “Do you even understand what this is? This isn’t a hangover, Alex. This is _withdrawals._ You’re going through withdrawals.” 

“I’m fine. . .”

 _“You’re not,”_ Ryland said. He gripped Alex’s shirt. “God, Alex, don’t you know what this shit is doing to you?”

Alex moved to say something, then turned and vomited violently into the toilet bowl instead. He had long emptied his stomach, so all that came out was a long string of clear bile. 

Clear. Not bloody. Ryland heaved a shuddering breath, leaning into Alex’s shoulder, shaking. 

Brian moved in the doorway. “Do we need to get him to the hospital?” 

“How are we supposed to do that when we have no money and no identity in this world?” Ryland said. 

“I’m good,” Alex said, moving to stand. “I think. . . I think I’m done. . . I’m good. . .” He tried standing, but nearly fell.

Ryland caught him and pulled him toward the sink. He got a paper cup and filled it with water. “Here. Rinse your mouth clean.” 

Alex obeyed, rinsing and spitting until everything came clean. He groaned, but didn’t move toward the toilet again.

Brian frowned deeply. “I’m taking you back to Dan’s house. Alex needs rest.”

Alex shifted in Ryland’s grip. “My lessons. . .”

“Will have to happen after you get through this,” Brian said. “You’re in no condition to sing. Come on, you two.” 

It didn’t take long to get to Dan’s house. Thankfully Alex had no more vomiting episodes, but he shook like mad no matter how tightly Ryland held him. 

God, Ryland had never felt more terrified. _Please, just let Alex get through this. . ._

“If you think you can take it, drink some water and get something in you,” Brian said. “Soup or something. Got that?” Alex nodded, but said nothing. Brian frowned. “After that, get some rest. Okay?”

“I’ve got him,” Ryland said, his voice shaking. He lowered his gaze at Brian. “Any weed in here that we might need to get rid of?” 

Brian crossed his arms. “No.” 

“Alcohol then?” 

“No,” Brian said again. “Dan doesn’t drink.” 

Ryland blinked at him. “He doesn’t? Why?” 

Brian took a deep breath and nodded to Alex, still half-limp in Ryland’s grip. “Because he’s been there before.” 

Alex held his head in shame, then buried his face in Ryland’s shoulder. 

Brian shook his head. “Make sure he sleeps in an actual bed. None of this couch nonsense. It’s closer to the bathroom anyway, in case he needs it again.” 

“Right,” Ryland said. 

Brian took one more look over Alex, then left. 

Ryland watched Brian leave, then led Alex to the couch. He sat him down. “Think you can keep some water down?” 

Alex didn’t say anything. He just stared at the floor.

Ryland frowned. He gripped Alex’s shoulder. “Alex, please talk to me before I think you’re having a stroke.” 

“My father is legally disowning me,” Alex said. 

Ryland’s eyes widened. He squatted down so he could meet Alex at eye level. “Wait, what?” 

“He’s been threatening to for months,” Alex said. “Said I hurt the family’s reputation, which hurt his company. Claimed I was completely useless. He wrote me out of his will, changed his and Mom’s phone numbers, and filed a restraining order.” Alex’s eyes watered and he wiped roughly at them. “I got served with papers two weeks ago. It’s. . . it’s one of the reasons why I want to be drunk all the time. Maybe I could just fucking forget it.” 

Ryland frowned. “Alex. . . I didn’t. . . I’m. . . ” He paused. Did he actually feel sorry? Alex’s folks were assholes. They wanted a perfect son, boring and businesslike to take over the company. They never appreciated Alex for who he was. 

Then again, maybe Ryland hadn’t either. Or at the very least, he wasn’t good at showing it. 

He needed to be better. 

He sighed and gripped Alex’s hands, but said nothing.

Alex gripped back, tightly, leaning forward to press his forehead to Ryland’s. The sobs started slowly, but built until they wracked Alex’s whole body. Ryland released Alex’s hands and drew his friend into a tight hug until the sobbing stopped.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO new chapters for you guys! I just couldn't stop writing. We'll get back to Alex and Ryland in Chapter 12.

“Come dance with me,” Sam told Dan. The pair were still sitting in the bar, listening to other patrons attempt to match Dan’s singing on stage. Dan didn’t know how many drinks Sam had had while he was singing, but she had had three more while they were sitting there and the effects were starting to become evident.

Dan nearly choked on his water. “Are you fucking serious? I thought you weren’t asking me out.” 

“I’m not,” Sam said with a drunken grin. “I’m asking you to dance with me.” 

“That’s a bad idea,” Dan said. 

“What, can’t dance?” 

“I can dance just fine,” Dan said. “But you’re drunk and I don’t want to be victim to whatever sudden impulses you’re going to have on the dance floor.” 

“I promise I won’t grab your ass,” Sam said. 

Dan frowned. “Wasn’t the first worry on my list, but now I’ve got a whole bunch more.” 

Sam smirked. “What, don’t like it when ladies grab your junk?” 

Dan crossed his arms. “There’s a reason I wear a cup when I perform.” 

“You’re freakin’ Danny Sexbang!” Sam laughed. “You sleep with any willing and able lady.”

 _“No,”_ Dan said firmly. “I don’t. Danny Sexbang is a _character._ He does what he wants. Dan Avidan saves that level of intimacy for the right people at the right time. I’m not a whore.” 

Sam blinked at him, confused. Then a slow smile overcame her face. “Ohhh, I get it. Do you need a few drinks in you before I can get you on the dance floor? I’ll happily buy you some.” 

Dan rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tight. Either she really didn’t get it, or the alcohol had replaced her common sense. “I don’t drink.” 

Sam seemed shocked by this news. “But Alex is practically an alcoholic.” 

Dan narrowed his eyes. “Yeah. That’s why I don’t drink.” 

“Because of Alex?” 

“Because I was in Alex’s place once,” Dan said. “It’s not a fun place to be.” 

Sam put her drink down, a sober expression covering her features. “. . .Fair enough.” 

Dan took a deep breath. “Do you get it now?”

“I suppose,” Sam said. “Sorry. I’m just. . . I’m not myself when I’m drunk.” 

“Then stop drinking.” 

“What’s the point?” Sam said, leaning her head on one hand. “I’m not going to the Olympics. We had a slim chance of winning Blood Match before, but now with Ryland gone, that chance has basically been thrown out the window. Why be sober?” 

“So you want to end up like Alex?” Dan said. 

Sam shot him a look.

Dan lowered his gaze. “I’m serious. You keep this up, you’ll end up like Alex. Or Ash, who’s slowly drinking herself to destruction. You guys think you have nothing to live for, but look the fuck around you. You’ve got each other. Yeah, you started out hating each other, and maybe on the surface level you think you still do, but on the inside, you’re forming a family.”

Sam laughed bitterly. “The world’s most dysfunctional family maybe.” 

“But you’re still a family,” Dan said. “Tell me this. If you were given the opportunity to leave all of this right now and jump right to the Olympics, no questions asked, but you could never see any of your Killcore teammates again, would you do it?” 

Sam scoffed. “You seriously have to ask me that?” 

Dan locked eyes with her.

She stared back, frowning. Eventually she turned away. “. . .Okay, you’re right, I probably wouldn’t leave. Singles is so. . . lonely. And. . . and I’d miss them all.” She rubbed the edge of her glass, staring into her drink. “God, I hope Alex and Ryland are okay.” 

“If they’re with my friends, they’ll be just fine,” Dan said.

“I hope so.”

Dan smirked. “So be honest. Do you actually have a crush on Alex?” 

“Fuck no,” Sam said. She inched her gaze up until she met Dan’s eyes. “But I might have a crush on a man named Dan.” 

Even knowing it was coming, Dan struggled with how to react. Should he put her down gently? Laugh it off? Point her back to Alex? Lie and said he already had a girlfriend? Even if he wanted a relationship with Sam, there was no way it would work and he knew it. 

Dan took a deep breath. Honesty. That’s what he needed here.

“You know that would never work.” 

Sam fingered her glass again. “Maybe not. . . long term. . . but. . .” 

“Sam,” Dan said. “I’m flattered that you like me. But you know it wouldn’t work. Even short term. I wouldn’t. . .” He sighed. “I wouldn’t want to hurt you.” 

Sam glanced back down at her drink. “Figured you’d say that.” 

“Besides,” Dan said. “How old are you?” 

Sam blinked. “Twenty-two.” 

“I’m thirty-eight,” Dan said, sipping at his water. “Bit of an age gap there.” 

Sam leaned back. “You are not thirty-eight.” 

“Believe it or not.” 

Sam’s jaw just dropped. “Is Alex that old?” 

Dan frowned. “I. . . don’t actually know. That’s a good question.” 

“God,” Sam said. “I was trying to fuck an old man.” 

Dan laughed. “I’m not that old!” 

“You’re practically the village elder,” Sam said, waving her hands. “Crush over. No need for that cup now.” 

Dan grinned. “Good.” 

Sam glanced up. “So. . . would you take me up on that dance now?” 

Dan took a long swig of water. “Sure. Why not. Just keep your hands to yourself. I’m not wearing my cup.” 

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem,” Sam said. “I don’t want to have to get a tetanus shot.” 

“Funny.” Dan stood, held his hand out to Sam, and the two of them headed for the dance floor.


	11. Chapter Eleven

“Order whatever you want,” Ash said, pointing at the menu. “Technically Lorenzo is paying.” 

Arin sat opposite Ash in a beaten up old booth at Denny’s. He realized after his minor crying fit that he hadn’t eaten anything since he woke up in this strange predicament and his stomach protested. He didn’t have much cash after his impulsive shirt purchase, and he was too terrified to attempt to access his bank account, so Ash offered to buy him dinner. He glanced over the menu with a sigh. Though he felt starved, nothing really stood out to him. 

His mind was flooded with images of Suzy.

What if he never got home? What if he never saw her again? How would he cope? How would _she_ cope? 

More than just that, how would Ryland cope? Did he meet her? Did she realize that Ryland wasn’t her husband? How did she react? If he never got home, would Ryland try to take his place? Would Suzy want him to? Or would she just. . . mourn? God, it was too much to think about.

“Arin?” 

Arin glanced up. The waitress hung over him expectantly. “Anything to drink?” 

“Just a water,” Arin said.

“A shame this place doesn’t serve alcohol,” Ash said. “You look like you could use it.” 

“I don’t drink,” Arin said automatically. 

Ash blinked. “You don’t?” 

“I told you that when we first got here,” Arin said. “You don’t remember?”

“I was kind of preoccupied with the idea that some weird actors replaced two of my friends,” Ash said. 

Arin took a deep breath. “True.” 

“Why don’t you drink?” 

Arin shrugged. “I just. . . I don’t like not being in control of my own actions. The idea scares me to death.” 

“You can have a drink without totally losing yourself,” Ash said. 

Arin looked her in the eye and spoke before he had a chance to mentally convince himself not to. “Can _you?”_

Ash glanced up. She looked off to the side. “No. And before you say anything, I already know it’s a fucking problem.”

The waitress came back and handed Arin his water. Arin sipped at it slowly. “That’s why I don’t drink.” 

“Aren’t you a fucking angel.” 

“It has nothing to do with that,” Arin said. “It has to do with the fact that a lot of people count on me and I don’t want something stupid like alcohol getting in the way of doing my best by her.” 

Ash lifted a brow. “By her?”

Arin shook his head. “Them.” 

“Still have your wife on the brain?”

Arin stirred his water with his straw. “Of course I do.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. The waitress came and took their order. Arin ordered a simple burger and fries. 

“So,” Arin said. “Be honest. Do you have a crush on Ryland?” 

Ash lowered her head, her face turning red. “Yeah, I suppose I do.” Ash’s blush gave it away, but it was nice to hear her be honest. 

“Are you going to do anything about it?” 

Ash sighed, pulling apart a straw wrapper. “I don’t know.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because. . .” She sighed. “Because I’m pretty sure he already has someone else in mind, whether he’ll admit it to himself or not.” 

Arin didn’t have to ask who. “I think Ryland is too busy hating himself to admit he has feelings for someone else.” 

“Ain’t that the truth,” Ash said. The waitress came back with their food. Ash picked at her salad.

Arin dipped a fry in some ketchup. “Promise me something, Ash.” 

“What?” 

“You’ll quit drinking.” 

Ash laughed hollowly. “Right. I’ll get right on that.” 

“I’m serious, Ash.” 

“Why do you even fucking care?” 

Arin lowered his gaze. “Because there are people here who care about you.” 

“Bullshit,” Ash said, taking a swig of soda. “I don’t matter to anyone.” 

“You think Alex would agree with that? Or Lorenzo?” 

“Or Ryland?” Ash said sarcastically. 

Arin narrowed his eyes. “Ryland cares about you.” 

“Not as much as he cares about his fucking best friend.” 

“So that somehow devalues the fact that he cares about you?” Arin countered. “I know you don’t believe this yet, Ash, but everyone on your team cares about you.” 

“They care about Blood Match.” 

“Do you think they’ll just abandon you the moment Blood Match is over with?” Arin said. “Not even. You guys are in this for the long haul.” 

“Just _stop it,”_ Ash said, glaring. “I know what you’re doing.” 

Arin twisted a fry between his fingers. “What am I doing?” 

“Trying to make me _care.”_

“Trying to prove that you already do,” Arin said, biting into his fry. “You’re stuck. And that’s not a bad thing.” He met her eyes. “People care about you. And you have people counting on you. Do right by them.” 

Ash gave him a mild sneer and turned to her salad. They ate the rest of their meal in silence. 

Once they finished, Ash paid and they left the restaurant. The moment they were outside, Ash pulled her flask out of her pocket and glared at Arin, practically daring him to say something.

Arin turned his head and said nothing.

A moment later, he heard a metallic clunk. He whipped around, expecting to see Ash on the ground or something equally horrible. 

Instead, Ash was standing near the trashcan, her hand hovering over the opening. She glared at Arin. 

“I’m going to regret this.” 

Arin grinned. “I predict it’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I tried REALLY HARD not to ship in this story and just keep things canon and IT DIDN’T WORK I’M SORRY, though I’m pretty sure everyone here is excited anyway. Have some Rylex. =P 
> 
> This one is over 3000 words… Looong chapter. #sorrynotsorry. Also, this is a great chapter to read while listening to NSP’s Wish You Were Here cover!

Ryland sat back on the couch, taking a deep breath. It had taken nearly two hours, but Alex had finally calmed down enough to get some food and water into his stomach. 

God, that was terrifying. He kept expecting blood in Alex’s vomit, and never found it. The relief was unlike anything. He just had to get Alex through the next few days. 

“You doing better?” Ryland asked.

Alex took a sip of the brothy soup Ryland had put together for him. “I think so. . .” 

“Please don’t scare me like that again.” 

Alex actually managed a smile. “No promises.” 

Holy fucking shit, if Alex hadn’t spent all afternoon upchucking, Ryland would have popped him one for that comment. “When you’re finished with that, you’re going straight to bed.” 

“Yes sir, Dr. Ryland.” 

Ryland closed his eyes and reminded himself that Alex’s good humor coming back was a good thing. “I’ll go find Dan’s bedroom.” 

“I bet he’s got a shelf of nothing but dragon dildos.” 

“I’m going to stick them all on your pillow if that’s the case, just for you,” Ryland said, standing. “Stay here, and call if you need anything immediately. And finish that, okay?” 

Alex lifted his spoon, smiling. He still shook. Ryland took a deep breath and turned away. He left Alex on the couch and wandered down a hall until he found Dan’s bedroom. 

The man’s bed was perfectly made, a light blue comforter on soft sheets. Oddly, despite the decorations of the rest of the house, the room was relatively bland. A soft white paint covered the walls, with a handful of pictures of friends and what Ryland suspected were family pinned up. 

Thankfully there were no dragon dildos. Or any dildos for that matter.

An acoustic guitar lightly covered in dust sat in one corner. Ryland didn’t know if Dan played, though the dust indicated he probably didn’t. Some shelves had more Ninja Sex Party and Game Grumps fan art, though these looked like hand drawn and painted work that had a lot more effort put into them than the goofier stuff that most of the cartoons had. There were a few sketched drawings pinned to the wall as well, though one stood out. 

A pencil sketch of Dan, lightly colored, on an A4 piece of paper and framed. He wore a simple shirt, wild hair, and a massive grin. 

Ryland ran a hand down the frame. Dan reminded him so much of Alex. But a happier Alex. 

A sober Alex. 

God, what he would give for a sober Alex. 

As he glanced down the paper, noting details, he caught a glimpse of a signature. It took him a moment to decipher it, but his eyes widened when he did.

Arin Hanson. He scanned the drawing again. Arin drew this. 

_Arin_ drew this. 

Was there anything that man struggled with? Fuck. 

He studied the drawing’s face. 

Arin’s affection for Dan was so apparent in the sketch. The light in the eyes, the gentle curves of the smile and cheek bones, the perfect way he got Dan’s hair down, the mild coloring that just brought out Dan’s best features. 

Love went into this. 

No wonder Dan had framed it. 

“Ryland?” 

Ryland stood straight, then dashed out of the room for Alex. “I’m here. Everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. He lifted his now empty bowl. “Look, I ate the whole thing! And I’m definitely ready for a nap now.” 

Ryland heaved relief. “How’s your stomach feel?” 

“Like a thousand people are stabbing me at once,” Alex said, a little too perky for the words coming out of his mouth. “But the nausea is mostly gone. I think I should be able to keep this down.” 

“Good.” Ryland took the bowl from Alex, set it on the counter, then held out a hand for his friend. Alex took it and Ryland pulled him to his feet. 

Alex grinned as Ryland led him down the hall toward the master bedroom. “So does he have a shelf of dragon dildos?” 

Ryland rolled his eyes. “No, he doesn’t have a shelf of dragon dildos.” 

“Damn.” 

“Come on, you moron.” 

They entered the bedroom. Alex glanced mournfully at the dusty guitar in the corner, running his finger over the body. “Poor thing.” 

“Yours probably isn’t much better off,” Ryland pointed out. 

“I wonder if mine is broken too, or if it was just that prop that broke,” Alex said. 

Ryland bit his lip. “Best not think about it. Just get to bed.”

Alex cuddled under the comforter and took a deep breath. “Thanks for taking care of me, Ry.” 

Ryland rested a hand on Alex’s shoulder for a moment. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t such a fucking idiot.” 

“Love you anyway,” Alex said. 

Ryland sighed. “Right. Call if you need anything. Bathroom’s through that door.” He left Alex in the room and shut off the lights. 

He needed a distraction.

If he was in any other situation in the world, his first thought would probably be alcohol. Ryland didn’t drink much, and he almost never got drunk. The gremlins were too hard to ignore when he was drunk. 

But being in Dan’s alcohol-free house and watching his best friend deal with some of the worst alcohol-induced vomiting he had ever seen put him off alcohol for the rest of his life. If he never saw a beer again, it would be too soon.

“Next best thing,” Ryland muttered. “Video games.” 

Dan had a variety of systems, but the Xbox was hooked up, so Ryland pulled it up and checked through the selection of games. 

The last one he had played was a 2D Sonic game called Sonic Mania. Ryland blinked at it a moment before selecting it. It’d be as good a distraction as anything. 

Ryland wasn’t sure how many hours he passed playing Sonic Mania, when someone knocked on his door. Ryland groaned and rolled his eyes. He had just beaten the fifth set of levels and damn it, this boss sucked. Oh well. It was probably just Brian coming to check up on Alex. He paused the game and went to the door.

It was most definitely not Brian on the other side of the door.

It was Suzy. 

Ryland’s eyes widened. “Uh. . . hi?” 

Suzy managed a smile. “Hey. I uh. . . I heard that Alex wasn’t doing too well, so came to check that he’s okay. How’s he doing?” 

“He’s. . . better. . .” Ryland said, not sure how to handle the situation. How could this woman stand here and calmly talk to her husband’s doppelganger, knowing she may never see him again? How could she show concern for someone she really didn’t even know? What was with these people? 

Suzy nodded to a rolling crate behind her. “I made some soup for him. Think I could come in?” 

“Uh. Sure.” Ryland stepped aside and Suzy walked in, pulling the crate behind her. It had more than just soup in it. “What else is in there?” 

“Oh,” Suzy said. “I um. . . I brought some of Arin’s clothes for you. I know you don’t have much of your own here right now, and I doubt you’ll fit into any of Dan’s comfortably, so I washed some of Arin’s that you’d probably like.” She pulled a small laundry basket from the crate. “Arin doesn’t have a lot of long sleeves. . . I found what I could. Sorry if a pink shirt snuck in there.” 

Ryland lifted a brow. “Arin wears pink?” 

“Arin loves pink,” Suzy said. “It’s his favorite color.” 

Ryland sighed. “He’ll hate my wardrobe then.” 

Suzy let out a little giggle. “You might be surprised.” She put the laundry basket on next to the dining room table. “Have you eaten yet? I could make you something.” 

Ryland held a hand over his stomach, which suddenly growled ferociously. “I don’t think I’ve eaten a thing since I got here.” 

“Great,” Suzy said. “Sit down and I’ll warm up some soup. Do you like grilled cheese? It’ll go well with the soup I brought.” 

“Uh. . . sure.” He sat on a stool by Dan’s breakfast bar and faced into the kitchen. Suzy pulled out the soup and gathered some bread and cheese. 

Ryland blinked at her. “Why are you doing this?” 

Suzy frowned. “Doing what?” 

“Helping me,” he said. “Hell, just interacting with me. It’s my fault you. . . your husband. . .” 

Suzy leaned on the counter and gave Ryland a sharp look. “Did you somehow switch places with him on purpose?” 

Ryland narrowed his eyes. “Of course I fucking didn’t!” 

“Then how is this your fault?” Suzy said. “I won’t claim I have a single clue how this happened or pretend I know how to fix it. . . assuming it even can be fixed. . . but that doesn’t mean I should just. . . shun you guys. It’s not your fault. And if Arin and Dan were here, they’d be treating you with the same level of respect. You deserve it.” 

Ryland lowered his gaze. “I don’t deserve anything.” 

“Bullshit,” Suzy said. “You’re a good person at heart even if you don’t think you are.” 

Ryland sat back, frowning. How could anyone say that about him? What did he ever do to convince someone he was a good person?

“If you’re wondering how you’ve convinced me you’re a good person,” Suzy started, practically pulling the words right out Ryland’s head. “I see the way you care for Alex. That’s proof enough for me. Don’t sell yourself short.” 

“How the fuck did you know what I was thinking just now?” 

“You’re a lot more like Arin than you realize,” Suzy said. “He’s very introspective when it comes to important topics. So are you. And since I’ve learned to read Arin’s body language, it’s not too difficult to translate yours.” 

God, the very idea that he was like the crazy, rambunctious man Arin Hanson was. . . the thought was insane. 

“Tell me about Arin,” Ryland said. 

Suzy’s hands paused while she buttered bread. “He’s. . . god, how do I even start putting that into words?”

“How did you guys meet?” 

A dreamy look overcame Suzy’s face and she smiled. “We met at a convention and started dating soon after.” She put the first assembled sandwich on the hot pan. “We had our hiccups, but I’ve essentially been with him over half my life.” 

Ryland wrung his hands together. “What makes him so special to you?” 

“Everything,” Suzy said. “He’s funny and kind and he’s just fully of energy. You can’t help but smile when he walks into a room. He’s so. . . selfless. He puts so much of his time and energy into helping others. And he’s humble too. He’s done a lot for the people he works with, but you’ll never hear him brag about it on the show. Hell, if he brags about anything, it’s about his friends’ accomplishments, not how he might have helped them get where they are. He’s just. . .” Suzy sniffled a little. “He’s just amazing.” 

Ryland hung his head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be asking you to talk about him.” 

Suzy shook her head. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.” 

Ryland sighed, staring at his hands. “He sounds like the exact opposite of me.” 

“I doubt it,” Suzy said. She turned and placed a bowl of a clear mushroom soup in front of Ryland, with a plated grilled cheese sandwich. “Just because Arin is in a confident place now, doesn’t mean he always was.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ryland said. “The man can’t do wrong. Everyone loves him.” 

Suzy shook her head. “Arin isn’t perfect. And he certainly wasn’t always so confident. He had his bad times in life.” 

Ryland shook his head. “Right.” 

“Before he stared Game Grumps, he did animations for a website called Newgrounds,” Suzy said. “He got popular really fast. . . and the other animators just turned on him. It was a really toxic community. Arin was in a deep depression for a long time while he was there.” 

Ryland froze. “You’re serious?” 

“I am,” Suzy said. “Sound familiar?” 

Ryland thought back to his days playing DOTA. He had discovered he had a natural talent for it early on and he rose in ranks super quickly. He gained a lot of fans. . . and a lot more enemies. People trying to drag him down. Turn on him.

People like Steamin’. 

“How did he get out of it?” 

“He found the right people,” Suzy said. “People like Ross. And Dan. People who loved him for who he was.” 

People like Ryland’s Killcore team? Like Ash and Sam? Lorenzo and Kamal? 

People like Alex? 

“Eat that before it gets cold,” Suzy said. 

Ryland absently scooped a spoonful of soup into his mouth, and leaned back, shocked at the taste. “Damn. This is really good.” 

“It’s one of Arin’s favorites,” Suzy said, a sad smile on her face. “I thought you’d like it. Like I said, you’re more alike than you think you are.” 

Ryland dug in, dipping the grilled cheese into the broth. He stared as Suzy made herself a sandwich. 

“I wish I had a partner who spoke about me the way you speak about Arin,” he muttered.

“You could have one,” Suzy said. “You’re a handsome guy.” 

“None of my relationships have ever worked out well,” Ryland said. “They hate the nerd side of me.” 

“Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places,” Suzy said, pulling up a stool next to him with her soup and sandwich. “Have you tried dating a gamer girl?” 

Ryland laughed bitterly. “Gamer girls are too busy trying to prove they belong in the community to have time for romance.” 

“What about Ash?” 

Great. She had to bring that one up. “I don’t know. I mean, maybe she’s interested? But I’m not sure I see it lasting, you know?” 

Suzy took a couple of silent bites of food. She turned slowly to Ryland. “And. . . Alex?” 

Ryland looked up sharply. “What _about_ Alex?” 

Suzy opened her mouth to respond, but then paused. “Wait. What’s that?” 

Ryland stood, expecting to hear Alex vomiting in the other room. But instead he heard. . . music. 

Someone was strumming a guitar. Ryland couldn’t quite place the song, but it sounded familiar. He walked toward Dan’s bedroom, his food abandoned, and Suzy followed behind him. As they neared the bedroom, the song became clear. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. 

Ryland stood in the doorway. Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed, Dan’s dusty acoustic in his hands, strumming quietly, completely oblivious to the two people in the doorway. Then Alex got to the lyrics. 

He had never heard Alex sing beyond drunken karaoke. Hearing Alex sing for real threatened to bring him to tears. 

_So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from hell  
Blue skies from pain  
Can you tell a green field   
From a cold steel rail?   
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?_

Suzy drew a hand to her lips, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. Ryland frowned and without thinking, he slipped his hand into hers. She clutched it like a lifeline. 

Alex continued.

_Did they get you to trade  
Your heroes for ghosts?  
Hot ashes for trees?  
Hot air for a cool breeze?  
Cold comfort for change?  
Did you exchange  
A walk on part in the war  
For a lead role in a cage?_

The complex strumming of the song spoke of years of experience and amazing talent. Something Ryland had never known about his closest friend.

How had he not known this about Alex? What else didn’t he know? How had he pushed all this aside? 

How could he fix this? 

Alex sang the last verse. 

_How I wish, how I wish you were here  
We're just two lost souls  
Swimming in a fish bowl  
Year after year  
Running over the same old ground  
And how we found  
The same old fears  
Wish you were here_

Suzy let out a little sob, still holding tightly to Ryland’s hand. He squeezed it back, willing her to know that Arin loved her, willing her to believe that she’d get him back. He wasn’t gone. He was out there, waiting to get back to her. 

Ryland didn’t know how, but he was going to make sure of it. 

Alex couldn’t finish the song. Halfway through the remaining melody, he stopped strumming, hung his head over the guitar, and started sobbing quietly.

Ryland couldn’t stand for that. He released Suzy’s hand and strode to Alex. He gripped the man’s shoulder and gently pulled the guitar from his hands, placing it softly on the bed. 

Alex didn’t stop sobbing. “I-I want to be home, Ryland. . . I want. . . I want to be coaching our stupid team, getting ready for Blood Match. I want to sleep in my own stinky bed, eat hot dogs for breakfast, go shout positive things at the kids getting off school. . . I want. . . I want. . .” 

“You’re going to say you want your booze and your weed,” Ryland said, sitting next to Alex.

Alex hung his head, hiding his face behind his hair. “I want you to be happy.” 

Ryland took a deep breath and he wrapped his arms around Alex. He pressed his face into Alex’s hair. God, Alex was still shaking. He shuddered, holding him tight. “You know what would make me happy?” 

_“You_ don’t even know what would make you happy,” Alex countered. 

“Stop. . .” Ryland said. He’s own body shook now. “There’s one thing that would make me happier than anything else in the world.” 

“What?” 

Ryland shut his eyes. “A sober Alex.” 

Alex lifted his head and met Ryland’s eyes. 

Everything gushed at once and Ryland couldn’t stop it. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to. “I am so fucking terrified that one of these days I’m going to wake up and find you not breathing, lying in a puddle of your own vomit. That I’m going to lose you.” He pulled Alex tighter, shaking hard now, his eyes leaking tears. “I can’t lose you, Alex. I need you in my life. Do you understand that? I need you. I need you to be sober. I need you to be healthy. I can’t. . . if I lost you. . .” 

Alex didn’t seem to know how to respond. He sat still in Ryland’s arms. 

“God damnit, Alex,” Ryland said, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder, trying to stop the shaking. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with you? I can’t let you do this anymore. I can’t let you destroy yourself. I can’t. Please. . . I just. . .” The words choked in his throat and he gave in to the little sobs wracking his body. 

For several minutes, it felt like his confession fell on deaf ears. Alex didn’t move away from him, but he didn’t say anything either.

 _And why should he?_ the gremlins in Ryland’s mind whispered. _You’re not loveable. No one cares about you. Why should Alex be any different? What right do you have to ask him to change for your own selfish purposes? You’re a disgusting human being. Worthless. You’re just--_

“Ry?” 

Ryland lifted his face, catching Alex’s eyes, noting the tear tracks running down his cheeks. Alex still shook in his arms. 

Ryland blinked at him. “What?” 

“If. . . if we get home,” Alex said slowly. “Would. . . would you help me clear out all the weed in the apartment? And the booze?” He looked a bit sheepish. “Please?” 

It took a moment for the gravity of Alex’s statement to really hit home with Ryland. “You mean that.” 

“I. . . I do.” Alex hung his head. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

No words in any language written by any wordsmith or poet could describe the relief Ryland felt hearing Alex’s words. A wide grin grew on his face and he leaned into Alex’s shoulder again. “When we get home. . . I’ll help you.” 

Alex wrapped an arm across Ryland’s shoulder. “I got you to smile.” 

“You gave me a reason to be happy.” 

Alex let out a choked laugh and held Ryland tighter. He leaned close to him and spoke, barely a whisper. 

“I love you, Ryland.” 

Ryland gripped Alex tighter. He didn’t know if Alex meant that platonically or romantically, but frankly, at that moment, he didn’t fucking care. All that mattered was that Alex was here, right now, safe and sound, unafraid to tell Ryland that he loved him.

And how many times had he said that before? He was never shy in saying so. But had Ryland ever said it back? He wasn’t sure he had. 

So he better do it now. He pulled Alex close, keeping his voice quiet.

“I love you too, Alex.” 

He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard Suzy make a happy noise from the doorway.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Dan entered the apartment, the vague smell of weed still calling to him. He cringed.

He had thought that spending time with Sam would help calm his nerves. Certainly singing made him feel better, as it always did. And he did have a great time dancing once he got that crush idea out of Sam’s head. 

So why was he so damn bummed? Just felt so. . . dull. Dead. Like he didn’t want to do anything ever again. 

Like he just wanted to light up a blunt and veg for the rest of the night. 

God, who knew he could still cling so tightly to those impulses? 

At home it was easier to ignore the occasional drive to grab some weed. No one around him smoked it. Even though it was legal in California, it still wasn’t easy to get. And there were a million ways to distract himself from the impulse. Hell, even when fans brought it to NSP concerts, he was so into the music and so far away from the actual substance that it didn’t bother him.

Much.

Here, in Alex’s apartment though, with the familiar smell lingering and knowing Alex probably had a secret stash somewhere, and his beloved bong always somewhere in plain sight, and no idea how to distract himself here. . . ignoring the desire was a lot harder. 

Maybe he should just give in. He was stuck in a world that wasn’t his own anyway. Why not?

He started scouring the apartment for one of Alex’s stashes. 

\-----

Arin walked down the sidewalk toward Ryland’s apartment building. 

God, who knew he’d be playing psychologist to Ash? All he had been planning on doing was fucking around with Steamin’. The whole situation got a whole lot more serious than he expected it to.

Fuck, Steamin’ was a huge asshole. Way worse than they had portrayed him on the show. Who seriously preys on people’s personal depressions like that? What a dick.

At least he’d gotten Ash thinking about stopping drinking. Heaven knows she didn’t need that shit in her life anymore. Hopefully it stuck.

Damn. Realizing these characters were real people made their little ticks and habits a lot more serious.

How did it come to this? 

And Suzy. . . he’d need a good cry about it later. God. The thought of never seeing her again. He pushed the thought out of his mind before the tears started again. Not in public.

And he still had to figure out if Steamin’ had somehow hacked all their webcams. How would he even go about checking that? Maybe Kamal would know. 

Fuck.

They had to get out of this somehow. It was starting to mess with his psyche. 

He climbed the apartment stairs and stood in front of Ryland’s place messing with the keys. Ryland had a whole mess of keys on his keychain and Arin still struggled to remember which one was the apartment key. Who knew what the others were. Ryland was a bit of a packrat. 

Then he heard someone shouting in the apartment. Dan.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Dan’s voice shook as he spoke. 

Arin jumped, then fought hard with the keys until he got the right one. He unlocked the apartment and threw the door open. “Dan?” 

The toilet flushed. Arin jogged down the hall. 

Dan sat on the floor in front of the toilet, several bags of what was probably weed in his lap, and two more floating in the toilet bowl, which looked close to overflowing. 

Arin frowned. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“I’m getting rid of Alex’s weed,” Dan said, his voice still shaking. He stood, scattering the weed bags all over the floor, and reached for the plunger in the corner. 

Arin lowered his gaze. “Alex may not like that.”

 _“I don’t fucking care,”_ Dan spat, being unusually short. He slammed the plunger in the toilet bowl, splashing water everywhere. “He doesn’t need it anyway.” 

Arin took a step forward, holding a hand out. “Dan--”

 _“Just don’t,”_ Dan said, stepping away. “I can’t--” He released the plunger, hanging his head, shaking. “Fuck, I can’t do this, Arin. I can’t go down this path again.” 

Then Arin got it. “Dan. . . Come here, man.” 

Dan slumped over to Arin, looking near tears. Arin drew him in a big hug and Dan buried his face in Arin’s shoulder, clutching his shirt, shuddering in his arms. “I can’t do it. . .”

“And you won’t,” Arin said. “I know you won’t. You have no reason to. There’s no fucking reason to go back.” He stroked Dan’s back. “Everything’s going to be fine. You’re going to be okay.” 

Dan heaved his breaths. “I’m so fucking scared.” 

“I know,” Arin said. “I am too. But we’ll get through it.” 

Dan gripped even tighter. “. . .What if we don’t?” 

Arin took a deep breath. “What do you mean?” 

“What if we don’t make it back?” 

Arin’s heart seized at the thought. What if they didn’t? The longer they were here. . . the more they vocalized it. . . the more this felt too real. 

Maybe they were never getting home. Maybe they were stuck. 

He clung tightly to Dan. “At least I have you with me.” 

They stood like that for a long time. Arin took in every second. Dan’s soft shaking, the toilet bowl noises, the lingering smell of weed, Dan’s own personal scent, his shirt bunched up where Dan clutched to it, the horrible bathroom lighting, the fact that they were nowhere near their own home. . . 

But he had Dan. At least he had Dan. Thank god for that. If he didn’t, he’d never make it out of this intact. 

Slowly, reluctantly, Dan let Arin go and took a step back. “. . .Sorry.” 

“Never apologize for needing help,” Arin said, clutching Dan’s shoulders. “I will always be here for you, and I never want to hear you say you’re sorry for seeking me out. You’re my friend and I love you and you can always come to me.” 

Dan stared at the floor.

Arin sighed. “Here.” He reached for the plunger and worked it in the toilet bowl until the water ran freely, taking the weed with it. “Let’s get rid of this stuff, one bag at a time, then we’ll start on the beer around the apartment.” 

Dan gave Arin another quick hug. “Thank you.” 

Arin smiled, hugging him back. “That’s much better.” 

Dan glanced at the weed lying on the ground. He reached a shaky hand for it, then withdrew. “I don’t know if I can do this.” 

Arin took Dan’s hand. “Then go make yourself some dinner and I’ll do this.” 

Dan met Arin’s eyes. “You sure?” 

“I’ve got you, bro.” 

Dan smiled. “Thanks.” He slumped out of the bathroom.

Arin watched him a moment, frowning. They had to get out of this mess. It was damaging them both. He sighed, picked up the weed bags and placed them on the counter before starting the process of getting rid of them, one bag at a time.


	14. Chapter 14

Ryland woke the next morning to the sun in his eye. He rolled over on the couch, groaning. Who asked the sun to come up anyway? 

Someone stirred on the other couch. Ryland turned his head, but wasn’t too surprised to see Alex lying there. 

Damn him. He was supposed to sleep on Dan’s bed. 

Last night had been. . . interesting. 

After his little moment with Alex, Suzy encouraged the two of them to come out to the kitchen when they were ready and she’d have food for Alex and a fresh grilled cheese for Ryland. Alex had been so surprised by her presence that he nearly fell off the bed.

Then they had talked. 

Ryland pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t know what had come over him to let himself suddenly be so open, but he just gushed about all the fears and worries that had been building up for years, watching Alex descend further into his alcoholism. Alex, to his credit, listened quietly and patiently, gripping one of Ryland’s hands. 

At some point during Ryland’s gush, he started wiping the tears off Ryland’s face. Ryland stroked his cheeks now, the feeling of Alex’s soft fingers still lingering. 

Shit, what new part of him had he unearthed? 

After Ryland finished, Alex explained all the reasons why he drank. His parents, his band, his fucked up life. . . It broke Ryland’s heart to hear him. 

“But I have you,” Alex had told Ryland, squeezing his hand. “That’s. . . that’s always kept me going. Knowing you’d still be there.”

“Always, Alex,” Ryland had said, squeezing back. “I will always be there.” 

They agreed that at some point soon they’d need to start a plan for keeping Alex sober. But at that moment, Alex desperately needed food. Somehow Suzy had known exactly when to start the sandwiches to make sure they were piping hot and ready by the time Alex and Ryland left the bedroom. 

Ryland had put Alex back to sleep soon after. 

Ryland sat up. But obviously sometime in the night, Alex had decided he was better off sleeping out here. Maybe Ryland should wake him up and insist that he go back to the bed. It was better for him.

But before he could act, someone knocked on the door. Ryland grumbled about it being too early, then got up and headed for the door.

Brian and Barry were on the other side. “Hey,” Brian said. “How’s Alex this morning?” 

“Still sleeping, so keep it down,” Ryland said. “I couldn’t get him to stay in the bed last night apparently, so he’s on one of the couches. What’s up?” 

“We were trying to think about ways to get you home,” Barry said, as the pair of them walked in. 

“Always a good thing,” Ryland said. “Any ideas?” 

“I think it might have something to do with the apartment set,” Brian said.

Ryland froze. “You mean that TV show set that looks like our apartment.” 

“Yes.” 

Ryland lifted a brow. “Why?” 

“Because aside from you guys, and the actors that play your teammates, the apartment is the only thing that both worlds share,” Brian said. He shook his head. “This is really fucking me up as a theoretical physicist.” 

“Sorry to have blown your mind,” Ryland said with an eyeroll. “So what does that mean for us?” 

“We should visit the set,” Brian said. “And see if there’s. . . I don’t know, a worm hole or something? I’m completely out of ideas and we’ve got to try something.” 

Ryland glanced over his shoulder. “I should wake Alex up, then.” 

Brian and Barry nodded and moved into a small den off to the side. Ryland walked back to Alex and squatted in front of the couch.

Alex looked so peaceful in his sleep. He snored lightly, like always, his hair an absolute mess. Absently, Ryland tugged a strand of hair out of his face. 

Alex stirred. 

“Hey,” Ryland said. “Time to wake up, Alex.” 

Alex slowly opened his eyes, blinking at Ryland, then he immediately shut them tight, gripping his head. He groaned. 

Ryland frowned. “Not feeling well?” 

“Who used my head as a drum set last night?” Alex said. “God, the pain is awful.” 

“It might have been better if you had slept in the bed.” 

“Couldn’t,” Alex said. “Needed to hear you breathing.”

Ryland managed a small smile. “Did you at least keep everything down last night?” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Not for my stomach’s lack of trying.” 

Ryland sighed. “Baby steps.” He gripped Alex’s shoulder. “Brian and Barry are here. They want to take us to. . . to that apartment TV set thing that looks like our place. Brian thinks that might have something to do with getting us home.” 

Alex huddled in on himself, uncertain. “Sure. Cool.” 

Ryland blinked. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Can I at least eat and shower before we leave? I feel like I’m covered in a week’s filth.” 

Ryland smiled again. “I’m sure we’ve got time.” 

Alex smiled back this time, a soft dreamy look on his face. He reached up and ran a thumb down Ryland’s beard. “It’s so wonderful to see you smile.” 

Ryland blushed and roughed up Alex’s hair. “Shut up and get out of bed, you moron. I’ll make some breakfast while you shower.” 

Alex stood slowly, still gripping his head, but he flashed a smile at Ryland and headed down the hallway, still wrapped in the blanket. Ryland watched him walk off, taking a deep breath. He turned. 

Brian and Barry stood nearby, both with grins on their faces. 

Ryland narrowed his eyes. “Tell me you didn’t listen in on that whole thing.” 

Brian laughed. “Fine, I won’t tell you.” 

Ryland groaned. “God damnit.” 

“Suzy already told us anyway,” Barry said. “She was practically gushing.” 

Ryland felt his face grow hot. “That was private.” 

“Secrets don’t last long in the Space,” Brian said. “Especially if they’re positive things.” His grin softened. “Besides that, we’re all happy to hear that Alex wants to get sober.” 

Ryland took a deep breath. It was probably the only thing good about this whole situation. How had it taken something so earth-shattering to get him to finally spill his worries to Alex? Or for Alex to be willing to do something about them? 

Maybe. . . maybe their time here wasn’t so bad after all. 

“Why do you guys care so much?” Ryland asked. 

Brian and Barry exchanged glances. Barry just shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because our lives have trained us to care for people.” 

“Even strangers?” 

“You’re hardly strangers now,” Brian said. “If anyone asked, I’d probably call you a friend.” 

Ryland raised an eyebrow. “You don’t even know me.” 

“Ryland, this whole situation has put you in some of the worst places you’ve probably ever been,” Brian said. “And yet I still see nothing but good in you. Your care for Alex. Your worry for Suzy’s wellbeing and feelings. Your desire to do something about the Game Grumps live show, despite how difficult you might find it. You think you’re nothing but a worthless, unlovable human being, and you are nothing of the sort. You’re just so busy living in this personal hell you’ve created for yourself that you can’t see it.” He smiled. “But the people around you do. And if we see it when we’ve only known you a few days, you can bet Alex can. And your team. Don’t be so eager to drag yourself down.” 

Is that what he was doing? Purposefully dragging himself down? 

Brian eyed him. “Maybe Alex can start pulling you out of that habit, huh?” 

“Maybe,” Ryland said. He pressed his lips together. “Hopefully.” 

\-----

An hour later, after breakfast and showers, the four men stood outside the YouTube Red studio that led to Alex and Ryland’s apartment set. Michele offered to meet them there, and she arrived just a few minutes after they got there. Ryland had a hard time looking at her. God, it was weird looking Michele right in the face and knowing that wasn’t Ash. Was this how Suzy felt looking at him? 

She eyed Ryland and Alex carefully. 

“Before you ask,” Brian said. “This is very, very obviously not a prank.” 

Michele frowned. “So this really is Alex and Ryland.” 

Ryland crossed his arms. “It really is.” 

Michele eyed him. “How do I really know that for sure? For all I know, this is some super elaborate plot to mess with my head.” 

Ryland and Brian glanced at Alex, who still looked slightly pale. Alex rubbed his arms, looking off.

“I’ll explain later,” Brian said. “Best not relive it right now.” 

Michele turned toward the door and unlocked it. “You realize I created those characters, right?” 

Ryland narrowed his eyes. “Thanks for my crushing depression and Alex’s alcoholism. We appreciate it.” 

Michele frowned at him, though she didn’t say anything.

The group walked on the set. 

Alex immediately latched onto Ryland’s hand. Ryland squeezed back.

The apartment looked pretty much the same as it always had. If Ryland stood in the middle, away from the cameras and sound equipment, he could pretend he was back home. 

Almost. The lack of the weed and alcohol smell. . . hell, the lack of smell in general. . . it was too clean, too. . . new? It definitely wasn’t the place he and Alex called home. 

“So,” Ryland said. “Now what?” 

Brian frowned. “I really don’t know.” 

Alex glanced mournfully at the still-broken guitar. It looked like no one had been in here since Ryland and Alex had been dumped unceremoniously in it. 

But then Alex frowned. “Did someone try fixing the guitar?” 

“No one’s been in here,” Michele said. “Why?” 

Alex let go of Ryland’s hand and crossed the room. He lifted the guitar. “The tuning pegs are back on. And two of the strings are back to normal.” 

“What?” Ryland crossed over and glanced at the guitar. Sure enough, Alex was right. He glanced back at Michele. “You sure no one’s been in here?” 

“I’m sure!” Michele said. “Besides that, why would someone only fix part of the guitar? For that matter, we have multiple guitar props. If someone was going to do something with the prop, they’d just replace that one and fix it at their leisure.” 

Brian walked over and examined the guitar. “So does this have something to do with the fact that you guys are here?” 

Ryland sat on the couch. “That’s. . . that’s just weird. Why would that have anything to do with us?” 

Alex sat on the floor, cross-legged. “I was talking about wanting to get back into music.” 

Brian blinked at him.

Alex just shrugged. “Ryland got back into video games. I was considering getting back into music. . . it made sense to me.” 

“So the guitar somehow ‘heard’ you and brought you to a world where you were a successful musician?” Ryland said. “That’s just. . . that’s fucking stupid. And why would it bring me here?” 

“How does any of this make sense?” Brian said. He glanced over the guitar. “What do the fixed strings mean?” 

“I don’t know,” Alex said.

“This is serious bullshit,” Rylan said. 

“Do you have a better explanation?” Michele said. 

Barry stepped forward. “Let’s say we agree with this theory that the guitar magically brought you guys here. While it did that, it broke. But now parts of it are fixed. . . Why?” 

Ryland was about to protest again about how stupid this whole thing was. . . but he paused instead, exchanging a glance with Alex. 

Alex’s eyes went wide as if something clicked as well. “Holy fuck.” 

Brian perked up. “Did you think of something?” 

Ryland stared at Alex. “We came here. . . broken.” 

Alex chewed his lip. “The withdrawals--”

“Your music--”

“Your self-hate--”

“Our. . .” Alex frowned. “Our relationship. . . We’ve. . . we’ve been fixing all those things. They’re not perfect, but we’re working on them. All of them.” 

They both stared at the guitar. 

“Wait,” Michele said. “Are you trying to imply that as you’re fixing things in your life, the guitar is fixing itself?” 

Brian sat in Ryland’s chair. “That. . . holy fuck.” 

“But. . . you only listed four things,” Barry said. “There are five pieces fixed.” 

Ryland sat hard on the carpet. “Mine and Alex’s relationship fixes something for both of us. That’s two things.” 

“So what the fuck does that mean?” Michele said staring at the guitar.

Ryland ran his finger down one of the fixed strings. Four strings still stood broken. “That we have four more things that need fixing before this is over with.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LE GASP I missed a day! Things’ll be slowing down a little as I start getting essays from my students to grade. But we’re heading into some DEEP STUFF here guys! Can’t wait to keep going! 
> 
> PS - Bonus points if you get the ten thousand insects in the underpants reference!

“If I find out you haven’t been practicing I swear to god I will punch you,” Kamal said to Arin, walking into the apartment. Lorenzo, Ash, and Sam followed close behind.

Arin rolled his eyes. “First of all, I have been practicing. Second of all, if you punch me, you’ll wake up tomorrow morning wondering how I was able to get ten thousand insects in your underpants without you noticing. Don’t be a dick.” 

“Damn,” Kamal said sarcastically, waving a hand about. “If you can’t win Blood Match with brawn, maybe you could win with insults. Ouch.”

Arin eyed him. “Save it for Killcore, okay? God.” 

Dan laid back on the couch, looking over his laptop. He glanced up when Sam walked in. She gave him a quick smile, but he didn’t return it, instead going back to the computer screen. He wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to her after the crap from last night. 

Though maybe that wasn’t really fair. That wasn’t all her. It was just. . . this situation. He took a deep breath. They’d get through it. Somehow.

Sam looked like she was going to say something, but Arin held up a hand. “Before anyone says anything more. . .” He turned to Kamal. “Is there any way to tell if our webcams have been hacked?” 

Kamal frowned. “Why?” 

“I visited Steamin’ yesterday,” Arin said. “And he was making references about Ash being my girlfriend. Ash and Ryland have never shown anything that would even insinuate that in public. Not even on the stream. Hell, with Ryland’s poor attempt to protect Sam from the racial insults, the general public would be more inclined to believe that he was dating her, not Ash. And I know Ash didn’t ‘let it slip.’ But. . .” He glanced at Ash. “He did give Ash a big hug after qualifiers and even let her stay a few days at the apartment. That exchange happened in front of Sam’s webcam. So how did Steamin’ find out about it?”

Everyone exchanged dark glances. Dan sat up on the couch. 

Ash leaned forward. “Did you mention anything about Arin and Dan while you were on the computer?” 

Arin nodded. 

“Everyone disconnect your webcams,” Sam said. “That’s the safest way.” 

_“Fuck,”_ Ash said. “I wondered why Steamin’ mentioned that when I got to the house. I thought he was just fucking with me. As if we need more drama after all this.” 

Dan met Arin’s eyes as he disconnected Ryland’s webcam. Arin gave him a dark look.

This was becoming a lot more serious. 

Dan glanced around the room. They had spent hours last night getting rid of the booze and weed and airing the whole place out, so the smell was significantly less potent than when they first arrived. It wasn’t gone completely, but it was a good start. 

Then his eyes landed on Alex’s guitar. He took a deep breath. Alex deserved another chance at music. Dan was already working on that, helping him complete some of the songs he had started working on, making connections with the music teachers and coaches Dan had in his own world, and even researching places that could repair his Sexbang costume. 

But none of this would work if Alex couldn’t sing. Sam seemed to think he couldn’t, and the bar patrons last night certainly didn’t like it initially when Dan took the stage. 

He needed lessons. And Dan could give them to him. Who better to train you to sing than someone who was essentially _you?_

“Hey Arin,” Dan said. “Can I have that webcam? I won’t connect it to the internet.” 

Arin blinked. “Uh, sure. Here.” He passed it to Dan. 

“Thanks.” He took one more long look at the guitar. Then he frowned. “Wait. Weren’t all the strings broken on Alex’s guitar?” 

Arin glanced over it. “Uh. Yeah, they were. And three of the pegs at the top were smashed off.” He leaned by the guitar. “Hold on. That’s not right.” 

Dan stood and walked over to the guitar. All three pegs were back on and one string had magically repaired itself. He lifted a brow. “You didn’t touch it, did you Arin?” 

“What the fuck do I know about restringing a guitar?” Arin said. “Or fixing the pegs for that matter.” 

“I’m not sure I’d know anything about restringing it either. How did this thing spontaneously fix itself?” 

“Maybe it’s a magic guitar and that’s how you got switched with Alex and Ryland,” Kamal said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Dan exchanged a look with Arin. 

Kamal groaned. “Oh my _god,_ I was fucking kidding.” 

“But what if it’s true?” Dan said. “I mean, if you go over the events of what happened. . .” 

“I knocked over the guitar,” Arin said.

“I grabbed it,” Dan said. “We were both holding on when it crashed to the floor.” 

“Then there was a flash of light and we woke up here,” Arin said. “What the fuck?” 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “You guys are fucking morons. Just get back to the game.” 

Arin gave Dan one more look before turning back to the computer. Dan shrugged and laid back on the couch again.

“Alright, asshole,” Kamal said. “Help us take down Envy.” 

Forty-five minutes later and they still hadn’t had a successful run at the monster. 

Kamal threw his headphones down after dying in their sixth attempt. “What the hell, Arin?” 

Arin glared at him. “What the fuck do you expect? I’m not Ryland and you can’t expect me to have his skill level in just a couple of days. I’m doing the best I can.” 

“He hasn’t died as much as I have,” Lorenzo pointed out.

“Yeah, big fucking accomplishment,” Kamal shouted. He leaned on his hands. “We’ll never get through Blood Match now.” 

Arin’s glare deepened and he opened his mouth to speak.

But Sam got there first.

 _“Shut the fuck up, Kamal,”_ she snapped. “There’s so much fucking more to life than Blood Match. Arin’s doing the best he can. And Blood Match is nothing compared to what’s going on right now in our own fucking lives.” 

Dan raised both eyebrows at Sam. Was she actually defending Alex and Ryland?

Kamal threw his hands up. “Oh right, bitch.” 

“I’m serious!” Sam said, standing up. “Do you have any idea how bad this is? Alex and Ryland are _missing._ They might be missing for the rest of their _lives. We might fucking never see them again._ Don’t you get how fucking important that is?” She wiped harshly at her eyes. “They might be lost _forever.”_

Arin let out a choked noise. 

Dan sat up. “Arin?” 

Arin hovered a hand over his mouth, his eyes red and watery. “Sorry. I just. . . I need a minute.” He stood and turned for the door. “I’ll be right back.” 

Dan dropped the computer on the couch. “I’m coming with you.” 

Arin said nothing as they walked outside. The moment the door closed, Dan grabbed Arin’s hand. “Arin--”

Arin turned and threw himself into Dan’s arms. He didn’t cry. He didn’t even shake. But he didn’t say anything either. 

Dan held him tight and didn’t speak. They both knew what was wrong. There was no speaking into the worries they had. Dan took a deep breath.

Thank god they had each other. Arin was right. They’d never get through this alone. 

Though Dan wasn’t sure how they’d get through it regardless. 

They probably stood there a good ten minutes before Arin finally loosened his grip on Dan. He took a step back, wiping at his eyes, though they weren’t really wet. 

Dan gripped his shoulders. “You okay?” 

Arin shook his head. “No. But standing here like this isn’t productive.”

“And letting Kamal rip you a new one in the other room is?” 

“No. . .” Arin said. “But. . . If I can get better at this game. . . at least it feels like working toward something, Dan. Isn’t that why you’re doing stuff for Alex’s music career?” 

Dan took a deep breath. “You’re right. Fine. But I swear to god, if Kamal says one more thing I’m going to toss that stupid computer of his out the fucking window. He’s a fucking asshole.”

Arin managed a chuckle. “Fair enough.” He turned and with a shaking hand, opened the door.

The room was totally silent. Everyone glanced up at Dan and Arin, somber looks on their faces. 

Dan frowned. “What?” 

Sam gave Kamal a death glare, though the sheepish look on his face suggested she didn’t need to.

“Sorry,” Kamal said. “I shouldn’t. . . that was fucked up of me.” 

Arin crossed his arms and lifted a brow. “What was?” 

“You know--”

“No, no, no,” Arin said, boring holes into Kamal with his stare. “Be specific. If you’re going to apologize, be sincere about it.” 

Kamal narrowed his eyes, but he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I said things that made it look like I only care about Boogerboss’s skills and not Ryland. Ryland. . . I guess he’s a good guy and I’d miss him if I never saw him again. I’m just stressed about Blood Match.” He crossed his arms. “Happy?” 

“Good enough,” Arin said. “If a bit insincere.” 

“I thought you’d say that,” Kamal said. “So to prove I really am sincere, I’m going to coach you.” 

Dan dropped his face into his palm.

“I’m fucking serious,” Kamal said. “You think I can’t do it?” 

“Yeah, actually,” Dan said. “And I thought Alex was a bad coach. . .”

Kamal opened his mouth, but then shut it again, glaring. “Whatever. I don’t give a fuck what you think. I’ll turn Arin into Boogerboss if it kills me.” 

“It might just,” Arin said, walking to his computer. 

“Can you coach me if this works?” Lorenzo asked with a grin.

Kamal frowned, looking like he was going to protest, but then he shook his head. “Sure. If it works.” 

Lorenzo grinned. 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “Let’s just fucking do this.” 

Three hours later, under Kamal’s decidedly “colorful” coaching, Arin seemed to be getting somewhere. They managed to take down Envy three times and while Arin didn’t have near the same skills as Ryland, they were still starting to become at least acceptable. 

Arin sat back in his chair. “I think I’m finally getting this. We’ll have to reevaluate your strategies, but. . . maybe we can get through this after all.”

“Great, we can do me tomorrow!” Lorenzo exclaimed. 

“Yeah. . . great,” Kamal said. 

Sam grinned. “Aww, look at Onions actually becoming a nice person!” 

“Fuck you.” 

The team laughed and started leaving. “See you guys tomorrow,” Ash called. 

“Hey Kamal,” Arin said. “Thanks. I mean that. I needed that extra help.” 

“Oh, what the fuck ever,” Kamal said. But he crossed his arms and looked a little sheepish. “But you’re welcome. Just keep practicing. You’re better than you think you are. Maybe we can at least get third place.” 

Arin grinned. “I appreciate it.” 

Kamal just rolled his eyes and left. 

The moment he shut the door, a loud _twang_ sounded throughout the apartment. Dan practically leaped out of his skin.

Arin glanced at the electric guitar. “Dan.” 

Dan glanced at it too.

Another string had repaired itself.

Dan met Arin’s eyes. “What the hell.” 

Arin ran a finger down one of the fixed strings. “When we got here, we knew a bunch of things were just. . . broken about these characters.” He shook his head. “People.” 

Dan’s eyes widened. “And we’re trying to fix them. Like. . . like finding ways to get Alex back into music.” 

“Or messing around with Steamin’ to get him off Ryland’s back.” 

“Or helping Sam to better understand Alex and Ryland.” 

“Or helping Ash with her drinking problem.” 

“Or getting Kamal to stop being such a dick.” 

Arin sat down hard. “So. The guitar is. . . fixing itself. As we’re fixing them.” 

Dan glanced back down. “Is. . . that how we get home?” 

Arin ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t fucking know. What kind of sense does this even make?” 

Dan chewed his bottom lip. “If it is. . . we still have four more things to fix.” 

Arin took a deep breath. “At least it’s something to work toward.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Hey, can you rap?” Brian asked Ryland.

It had been nearly two weeks since Ryland and Alex had been stuck in this strange Game Grumps universe. While the shock had slightly worn off, the worries never really quite left either of them.   
Though being here, surrounded by people who now happily called Ryland and Alex friends and definitely made the distinction between them and their Game Grumps counterparts, made life a lot more bearable. Suzy seemed far more comfortable around Ryland and actually managed to make him laugh occasionally, something both Alex and Suzy said was wonderful to hear. Ross had been showing off storyboarding for a show he was making, and even asked Ryland’s opinion on his concepts. Barry and Brian spent the most time with them though, and they were really starting to feel like friends should. 

Even the actors that played their Killcore team appeared every now and then, which was. . . odd. The actors were almost nothing like their friends, especially Rahul and Michael, and it took some serious work to get used to that. 

It also took some work to get used to the idea that these people genuinely cared about Ryland and Alex’s wellbeing. Neither of them were used to that idea, and Ryland especially had little idea on how to respond to it. 

Slowly but surely, Ryland allowed himself to care about them, too. 

Alex’s voice lessons with Brian had greatly improved his mood and singing skills (though Ryland privately believed he didn’t need nearly as much help as Alex thought he did) and thankfully he had gotten through the alcohol withdrawals.

Well. Not completely. There were still days when Ryland woke to Alex upchucking in the bathroom and there had been at least two nights where Alex simply couldn’t sleep for the alcohol cravings and gremlins chipping away at his sanity. Those nights were hard, but he managed to get through them. 

But they hadn’t seen any serious symptoms in nearly four days. Ryland prayed that they finally got through the worst of it.

Though honestly, the worst of it would be returning to their apartment and all the temptations around it. Maybe he could put Alex up with one of their friends for a couple of days so he could clean the apartment out without Alex freaking out. 

Assuming they got back to their apartment. Michele had let them take the guitar prop home and keep an eye on the strings and see if it really did somehow fix itself. Four days ago they found one string fixed (the end of Alex’s withdrawal symptoms, Ryland figured) which seemed to confirm the weird theory that this thing did, somehow, bring them to this world.

Fucking guitar. 

But they still needed to fix three more strings. Ryland had no idea how. He suspected it had something to do with the upcoming Game Grumps live performance. 

Barry had been coaching Ryland ever since he had made the stupid fucking decision to attempt to replace Arin for this performance. He promised Ryland was getting better, but Ryland couldn’t see it.

So why was Brian asking him if he could rap? 

Ryland paused with half a bite of pasta in his mouth, blinking at Brian. “What do you mean?” 

“You mentioned that Starbomb was one of yours and Alex’s favorite bands,” Brian said, taking a seat across from Ryland. They were in one of the booths in the Grump’s kitchen. “Does that mean you know the raps?” 

Ryland shifted in his seat. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can sing them.” 

“Have you ever tried?”

Ryland shrugged. “Maybe when I was drunk. Where are you going with this?” 

“The show is in three days,” Brian said. “And Barry and I were thinking about what songs to put on the list. Alex is nervous as shit, and I don’t blame him, so we wondered if having you up on stage with him would help calm his nerves. Maybe you could do a Starbomb song or two with him.” 

Ryland leaned back. “You’re asking this of me three fucking days before the show?” 

Brian shrugged. “It was a last-minute decision. You can do it or not.” 

Ryland took a swig of water. “Let. . . let me talk with Alex about it.” 

Brian smiled. “Excellent.” 

Ryland sighed and went back to his meal. Alex couldn’t be that nervous. He was born for the stage. Or at least that’s what he kept claiming ever since he started gaining confidence in his singing abilities. He’d be fine. He didn’t need Ryland. 

But that opinion changed an hour later when he went looking for him after his lessons with Brian.

Brian was in the Grump room, furiously writing something. He looked. . . annoyed? But also quite worried. 

Ryland frowned. “Where’s Alex?” 

“Hiding in Arin’s office I suspect,” Brian said. “Go talk to him, please. He’s seriously freaking out.” 

Ryland’s frown deepened. That wasn’t good. He left and practically ran to Arin’s office.

Alex was sitting on the lounge, huddled up on himself, clutching the giant stuffed Pikachu. That stupid electric guitar was perched on one corner of the room, virtually glaring at Ryland as he walked in. 

Alex didn’t even look up when Ryland entered. 

Ryland furrowed his brow. “Hey. You doing okay?” 

Alex finally looked up. The look of terror in his eyes practically stabbed Ryland in the heart. When Alex said nothing, Ryland sat on the lounge next to him. “Wanna talk about it?” 

Alex leaned on Ryland’s shoulder. “I can’t do it, Ry.”

Ryland’s face turned red and he hesitated a moment before drawing an unsteady arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Be specific.” 

“The show!” Alex said. “I’m not good enough. I’m not Dan.” He shook his head. “I’ve been watching some of his live performances, and his videos and I’m just not that _good,_ Ryland. I can’t possibly do this.” 

Ryland refrained from rolling his eyes. “Why did you go looking at Dan’s performances?” 

“I thought. . . I thought I could get some ideas,” Alex said. He took a shuddering breath. “It just reminded me about how much I suck.” 

“Alex, Dan is a professional. He’s been doing this for years. Of course you won’t be at his level yet. That’s like. . . that’s like Lorenzo thinking he’ll be at my level just because he practiced for a few months at Killcore.” 

Alex gave him a mild glare. “Lorenzo isn’t that bad.” 

“Lorenzo isn’t that good either,” Ryland said. “And yet he’s still going to fucking Blood Match. But he’s still learning. You’re still learning.” Ryland took a deep breath. “You’re not Dan, Alex. You don’t have to be.” 

“That’s what the fans expect.” 

“But they’re getting _you,_ and it’ll be just as incredible,” Ryland said. “You’re better than you’re giving yourself credit for, Alex. You’re an amazing singer. You’ll be fine.” 

“But I _won’t,”_ Alex protested, hiding his face in the Pikachu plush. “I’m going to fail _again.”_

Ah. That was the source of the problem. Alex’s gremlins getting the better of him.

“Alex, look at me.” 

Alex lifted his face, the terror still clinging to it. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Ryland forced his hand to move and he gently cupped Alex’s chin, looking deep into his eyes. “I’ve been listening to you for almost two weeks now. You are _amazing._ It doesn’t matter that you’re not Dan, because you’re you, and you’re fantastic just the way you are. I know you can do this, and you’ll be so great, no one will know the difference. They won’t be cheering for Dan. They’ll be cheering for _you_ and your performance. Stop doubting yourself, okay?” 

Alex frowned at him, though the terror had left his face. “Why do you believe in me so much?” 

“Because. . .” Ryland dipped his head. “Because you have gone through so much shit in life and you still come out with a smile on your face. Because almost nothing brings you down, and damn it, I’ve been watching this whole situation bring you down to a low I didn’t think was possible for you to get to and I’m sick of seeing the bright, perky, optimistic Alex I love fall to pieces when you think it’s too much for you to handle. And it’s not, Alex. I know it’s not.” 

Alex’s eyes widened at Ryland’s words, but Ryland continued before Alex had a chance to respond. He wrapped his other arm around Alex and held him tight. 

“You’re so afraid of failure, and I totally understand why. I. . . have the same problem, if I’m truly honest with myself. But I feel like I can keep going because. . . because you believe in me. And that gives me a reason to believe in you.” He rested his forehead against Alex’s. “I know that sounds cheesy as shit, but. . . it’s true.” 

Alex blinked a moment before shutting his eyes. “It works both ways, you know. I can be optimistic because. . . because of you. Because even after everyone has left me. . . you haven’t. And I know you won’t.” 

Ryland smiled. “Of course not.” 

Alex opened his eyes and a smile overcame his face. “I got you to smile again.” 

Ryland sighed. “This better not be an elaborate ploy to just get more smiles out of me.” 

Alex slowly pulled away from Ryland’s grip. “No. I’m just. . . God, what if I really can’t do it?”

Ryland eyed him. “Alex. . .” 

“I think the worst part is that I’ll have to do the singing by myself,” Alex said. “Because this is just a ‘mini’ concert. They won’t have the full band there. It’ll just be. . . me. Alone.” 

Ryland shifted. Brian was right. Alex really did need the support. He took a deep breath. “What if it wasn’t?” 

Alex blinked. “What do you mean?” 

Ryland rang his hands together. Alex had always been there for him. He needed to be there for Alex. If that meant putting himself out there in a way he didn’t expect. . . well, Alex was worth it.

“Brian asked me if. . . if I would do Arin’s raps in a couple of Starbomb songs with you on stage.” 

Alex’s eyes widened.

“And if you want me there. . . I’ll do it.” 

“But. . .” Alex frowned. “Would. . . would you even be comfortable doing that?” 

“I’ll do it for you, Alex,” Ryland said. “If you need me there, I’ll be there.” 

“That didn’t answer my question.” 

“That’s the answer you get,” Ryland said. He reached down and took Alex’s hand into his own. “I’m here for you.” 

Alex blinked at him. He glanced down at their hands, then laced his fingers between Ryland’s. 

“I. . . I’d love to have you there with me,” Alex said. 

Ryland covered the top of Alex’s hand with his other one. “Then I’ll be there.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Hey, Arin, you packed up?” Dan asked.

Arin took a deep breath and dragged Ryland’s suitcase and several days’ worth of clothes out of Ryland’s bedroom. He wore one of Ryland’s quilted sweaters, just feeling. . . odd. 

They were two days from Blood Match. It was a long eight-hour drive to the arena’s location, then two days of loud, televised Killcore matches. 

God, could he really make it? Could they really do this? 

Dan leaned against the guitar case he had with him, wearing one of Alex’s oddly patterned long-sleeved shirts. This trip would be too long without having the guitar nearby, so Dan packed it up to take with them. 

Somehow in the last two days, two more strings had repaired themselves. Arin attributed them to the fact that Kamal had been coaching Lorenzo the last several days. His intense coaching helped Lorenzo exceed even Arin’s skills in the game, and had developed a strange uncle/nephew relationship between the two. Kamal had even stopped insulting him regularly. 

One more relationship fixed. One more problem solved. 

Dan took a deep breath. “I know we’ve both been thinking it, but I feel like I should ask. Do you feel like this is the last time we’re going to see this place?”

Arin slowly nodded, almost sorry that Dan felt the need to vocalize it. Arin wasn’t sure why. The whole situation felt. . . unfinished. He thought he’d be excited about the prospect of going home, but. . .

Dan looked aside.

Neither had said it, but they both felt that even if they weren’t going to see this apartment again, they also didn’t feel like they were going home. Arin didn’t know what that meant, but it scared the shit out of him.

Still. They had already prepared. 

Dan had put together dozens of singing lesson videos over the last week and had them on a flash drive for Alex, as well as the other information he had gathered to help boost his singing career. Arin didn’t know how much good it would do, but the thought was important. It’d at least get Alex thinking about it again. 

They had also left a video message for Alex and Ryland, and gifts for the whole team. It hadn’t been easy getting them, but it was worth it.

Finally, they had cleaned and organized the apartment. Trash thrown out, back room organized, laundry done, bathroom cleaned, everything vacuumed. . . it was sparkling. That was two days and a long night of intense work, though Arin didn’t want to bring the team into it.

Especially when going through Ryland’s room. 

He had been relieved not to find any. . . well. . . “coping tools” hidden around the room. He still didn’t feel confident calling them by name, even without the evidence that Ryland. . . might have hurt himself in the past to try and “deal” with his depression. Just because the evidence wasn’t there didn’t mean that it didn’t happen. 

Anything that appeared too personal to share with strangers they piled in big tubs, one for Alex and one for Ryland, and sat them at the foot of Ryland’s bed. They had tried to avoid reading any of them, though nothing could prevent them from catching a few words here and there. 

No wonder Alex and Ryland clung to each other so closely. 

The worst one still stuck with Arin, even though they had found it three days ago. Restraining orders from Alex’s parents with a letter telling him never to contact them again. That one even had dried tears on it. Dan explained the text he had found on Alex’s phone the third day they were there, tearing up as he spoke. Dan had always had the best of support from his family, and while Arin wasn’t as close with his, the thought that they didn’t love and support him never even crossed his mind. 

Certainly the idea that they would abandon him was beyond the realm of possibility. 

God, how did Alex have such an optimistic outline on life? 

Arin dragged the suitcase over to Dan, seeking a hug. “I’m fucking terrified, Dan.” 

Dan hugged him tight. It was a phrase they had said to each other countless times since they got stuck here, but the impact was never lessened. “I know. I am too.” He released the hug. “We should get downstairs. Lorenzo will be here soon.” 

Arin nodded and they dragged their stuff out of the apartment. Arin locked it up, staring at the handle.

Dan squeezed his shoulder. 

When they got downstairs, Arin froze. “Dan.” 

Dan saw it too. “Everyone. . . their outfits. . .” 

It was like walking into the last episode of Good Game. Everyone wore the same outfits they had been in the show. Arin exchanged a glance with Dan and realized they were doing the same.

“I promise I did not plan that,” Dan said, holding up his hands.

Arin rubbed his temple. “This is getting freaky.”

“Dude, where is Lorenzo?” Ash complained.

“If he’s dead, I get his stuff,” Kamal muttered.

Arin shook himself. “Definitely freaky.” 

A horn honked in the distance and Lorenzo drove up in a large, black Mercedes van with Esports People on the side. 

Kamal’s face immediately lit up. “Oh my god, yes.” 

Lorenzo tilted his head in a mock sensual voice. “Just the tip of the iceberg, honey.” 

Arin pressed his lips together and shut his eyes. This was going to be a long trip. 

It was probably the slowest eight hours Arin had ever been a part of. He took to sleeping through as much of the trip as he could to avoid the eerily identical conversations from his teammates. 

Dan stayed close to him. Feeling him there helped calm his nerves a little. 

They got to their hotel a few hours after sunset. Lorenzo led the way to check them in.

Ash kept a close eye on Arin and Dan. “Are you guys okay?” 

“If I’m honest, no,” Arin said. “I know you guys can’t possibly understand this, but, like, that whole trip up here, you kept spouting lines from the show, word for word, same tone and everything, and it’s fucking freaking me out.” 

Sam raised both eyebrows. “We are?” 

“It’s seriously like being back on set,” Dan said. “Obviously you guys aren't doing it on purpose, since you wouldn’t even know what those lines are, but god, it’s unnerving.” 

Ash and Sam exchanged glances. “Have we not been doing that before?” Ash asked.

“No,” Arin said. “Honestly this is the first time since we got here that anything from this. . . this reality has been like the TV show.” 

“If things in our reality are so close to the show, does that mean you guys know if we win Blood Match?” Kamal asked.

Arin eyed Dan. “I. . . I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m not Ryland. I don’t think it’s possible to predict that. For all I know, I’m gonna fuck this up so bad that it’ll break the whole thing.” 

Lorenzo came back, a sheepish look on his face. “I ah. . . I miscounted rooms,” he said. “I’m one room short. Someone’s going to have to share.” 

Dan held out his hand. “Arin and I will. It’s not like we never have before.” 

Lorenzo handed him a key.

Once they settled into their room, Arin laid back on his bed, frowning up at the ceiling.

Dan sat on the other bed, his fingers twitching together nervously. “I’m not so much worried about Blood Match as I am about the after party.” 

Arin sat up. “Think we’ll even get to the after party?” 

“I do,” Dan said. “And it’s not fun times for any of us.” He leaned back. “I mean. . . should we do something about that?”

Arin blinked. “What do you mean?” 

“Should we warn them?” Dan asked. “Like, ‘hey, Sam, you’re going to totally fuck up a chance Lorenzo has a getting someone, try not to be a dick’ or like, ‘Ash, don’t go stealing Jesse’s 10,000-dollar wine and get so smashed you can’t think straight.’” He shook his head. “And what if you do meet Jesse? What if Steamin’ actually approaches me about coaching? Should we actually do something about all this?” 

Arin laid his hands in his lap. “Maybe we shouldn’t even go to the party.” 

“I don’t think we can avoid it if we get an invite,” Dan said. 

“You’re assuming we’ll get one.” 

“I’m assuming we’re going to lose the first match tomorrow, then crawl out of the losers bracket, then get that invite,” Dan said. 

“Despite my poor skills?” Arin said.

“You’re not as bad as you think you are,” Dan said. “And you’ve got a good team to back you up. We’ll get to Lucid.” 

Arin frowned, staring at the bed covers. He sat silent for several minutes before he finally voiced his worst fear. “Dan. Suzy will be at that party.” 

Dan’s head shot up. “Arin--”

“She made a cameo, remember? She’ll even meet Ash and Sam.” 

“Arin,” Dan said. “That’s not Suzy. You know that.” 

Arin tried to hide his shaking. “But. . . just to see her face again.” 

_“Arin,”_ Dan said. “You can’t start doing that to yourself. That is not Suzy. That’s some coke snorting fluff butterfly with no sense and a fake smile. That is not your wife. You can’t go down that path.” 

Arin took in a deep breath, trying to fight back to the tears. “But if I never see her again. . .”

Dan took a short breath, then reached out and hugged Arin from the side. “You will. I promise. But in the meantime, don’t go chasing her shadow. Okay?” 

It took everything Arin had to respond. “. . .Right.”

The two of them dressed in their normal night clothes, then hopped into their respective beds. Arin stared up at the ceiling. 

“There’s no way I’m going to sleep tonight,” he muttered.

Dan reached across the gap between their beds for Arin’s hand. Arin reached back and grabbed Dan’s. 

“I know,” Dan said. “I’m not either.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Reference to suicide and self harm. Please take care of yourselves everyone. Seek help if you're feeling depressed. Someone out there loves you. <3 
> 
> Also.... the Rylex has taken over. Oops.

Alex watched Ryland singing a rap, trying and failing to hold in a grin. Brian had the two of them in the Grump room with his Casio keyboard, practicing The Hero of Rhyme. 

Ryland was surprisingly good. He got all the words down, every difficult rhyme, ever harsh beat, and nearly perfectly. Brian had nothing but praise for him. 

The Game Grumps Live show was tomorrow night. Alex was still horribly terrified about being on stage, but he wouldn’t be there alone. Ryland was going to be with him.

 _Ryland._ Singing with him on stage. His heart raced in anticipation just thinking about it. He knew it wasn’t Ryland’s lifelong dream to sing on stage, but he still seemed excited nonetheless. 

They would do two Starbomb songs – The Hero of Rhyme and The Simple Plot of Metal Gear Solid which seemed to be Ryland’s two best songs – and Alex would sing two covers on his own. He chose Take On Me and Wish You Were Here. 

Ryland had suggested he play the guitar while he sang the second one. It had taken a little bit of convincing, but Brian finally okayed it.

For the first time since Alex had suggested the idea of replacing Arin and Dan for this show, he actually felt excited. Terrified, but excited. He was going to be on stage. In front of fans. With Ryland at his side. 

Nothing could go wrong. 

“You’re damn good at that rap, Ryland,” Brian said, a grin on his face. “You guys should do covers when you get home.” 

Ryland rolled his eyes. “And get shot down by the real Starbomb? Noooo thank you. Everyone knows they’re super protective of their content.” 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “They are?” 

“They are,” Alex said. “I was surprised you guys had animations for your songs. If anyone tries to use a Starbomb song outside of its original videos back home, Starbomb gets lawyers involved.”

Brian’s eye twitched. “Ouch.” 

“Tell me about it,” Ryland said. 

“Well,” Brian said. “Regardless, I think you guys are as ready as you can be for tomorrow’s show. You’re going to do wonderful.” He reached behind the couch and pulled up two thick bags. “We were talking about what you should wear to the show. Since you’re doing a concert afterwards, Barry suggested these.” He passed the bags to Ryland and Alex. 

Alex reached in and pulled out a three-colored belt buckle, his eyes shining. “Are. . . these?” 

“Arin and Dan’s Starbomb costumes,” Brian said. “It fits. But I want you guys to try them on when you get home tonight just to make sure they work well. If they don’t, we’ll find something else. And Alex.”

Alex looked up, absolutely star struck. 

“In Dan’s closet you’ll find several of his Sexbang costumes,” Brian said. “Pick one. You can do the covers in that one.” He smiled. “He prefers to do shows in the cape, but I’ll leave it up to you. I want you to be comfortable.” 

Alex’s jaw dropped. “I. . . I can use one of his costumes?” 

“I think he’d want you to,” Brian said. 

Alex practically squeed. “Oh my god, thank you so much!” 

Brian smiled. “I’ll take you guys home.” 

Brian got them some dinner and took them back to Dan’s house. Ryland plated up their food and they sat on Dan’s table, though Alex had a hard time focusing on dinner. He kept staring at the bags holding the Starbomb costumes. 

Ryland smiled at him. “Should we try them on?”

Alex nodded enthusiastically. 

Ryland took his bag into the bathroom and Alex got dressed in Dan’s room. He got the whole outfit on – blue pants, white shirt, blue vest, arm bands, belt buckle, black gloves – then stared at himself in Dan’s full-length mirror. 

He was practically ready to cry. This was it. It was real. He was in a stage costume, prepping to actually perform in front of a crowd. He was actually getting a second shot at music. 

A serious second shot.

He took a deep breath. Too bad it was in a universe he couldn’t stay in. But. . . maybe. . . maybe when he got home, he. . . he could try again. Dust off his old guitar, pull out his old half-finished songs, repair his Sexbang costume. . . find a proper band that liked the idea of comedy music. 

If Dan could do it, he could do it. He’d have to fight hard, but he could do it. 

Damn. He could seriously do it. 

Something inside him started feeling absolutely whole again. Ryland back into video games. Him back into music. He knew he was about to tackle a stage and run a show he had never done before, with only two weeks of practice, but he felt such. . . peace. 

This was right. This was the way it was supposed to be. And he couldn’t wait. 

“Alex?” 

“Coming,” Alex said, though his voice was barely above a whisper. 

He met Ryland in the living room.

Ryland looked absolutely gorgeous. Hot pink collared shirt over a white tee, tight pants, the same fingerless gloves. . . and, because of the bandana, his hair down. 

It took Alex’s breath away.

Ryland almost never wore his hair down. His first task every morning was putting it up, usually before he even left his room. Alex always thought of it as a defense mechanism. When his hair was down, he drew stares. Ryland believed people stared because of negative reasons. Maybe they thought his hair looked stupid, or that men shouldn’t wear their hair long, or maybe it just emphasized his face, which, in Ryland’s opinion, was nothing nice to look at. 

Alex knew it was the exact opposite. People stared because he was simply stunning. Alex always had a quiet desire to run his fingers through Ryland’s hair. It looked so soft and smooth. 

Maybe now he could get away with it. 

Ryland rubbed his upper arms, obviously uncomfortable. He met Alex’s eyes. “. . .You look great.” 

Alex grinned. “So do you.” 

“I look stupid,” Ryland said. “I hate pink.” 

“But it looks fantastic on you,” Alex said. He reached up and pulled Ryland’s hands into his. “It’s. . . kind of nice to see you without long sleeves. You don’t do that very often.” 

Ryland hung his head, his face growing dark with a different kind of discomfort. “. . .Yeah.”

Alex frowned. “Something wrong?” 

Ryland slowly pulled his hands free from Alex’s. “. . .I guess it would come out sometime. Better. . . better now than right before the show tomorrow.” 

“What would?” Alex said, a deep sense of foreboding growing in his chest. “Ryland, what’s wrong?” 

Ryland took a long, shuddering breath, as if he was trying to center himself. “There’s. . . a reason why I wear long sleeves.” 

Alex tilted his head.

Ryland pressed his eyes closed a moment before opening them again and holding his hands out, palms up. He opened his mouth like he wanted to speak, but nothing came out. 

Alex glanced at his palms—no, his wrists. Ryland shook, but he didn’t move his hands from Alex’s gaze. 

It took a moment. But not a long one. 

“Oh. . . oh my god. . .” Alex ran his fingers over Ryland’s wrists. Little pink lines scarred both of them. Thin, long, perfectly uniform, slightly raised from the skin, almost invisible to anyone not looking. 

They stood out like thick, jagged red wounds to Alex. He clutched Ryland’s wrists and traced the scars with his thumbs, tears forming in his eyes for his friend. “Ryland. . .” 

“I know.” 

“Why. . . why did I never notice them before?” Alex asked. It felt like he had betrayed Ryland, that he had been suffering alone for a long time and Alex never noticed. 

“I wouldn’t let you see,” Ryland said. “I wouldn’t let anyone see.” 

“Ry. . .” 

“I haven’t done this in ages,” Ryland clarified. “Literal years. These. . . they’re old. I don’t like looking at them. I don’t like remembering my past. This is why I wear long sleeves.” 

Alex met Ryland’s eyes, his vision blurry. “Why did you stop?” 

Ryland actually smiled, his eyes shining. “Because I met a man named Alex.” 

Alex took a sharp breath. 

“He came into my life and wouldn’t leave,” Ryland continued. “He. . . he came to me when I was in my deepest depression. When I was thinking this wasn’t enough. I wasn’t worth it.” He gripped Alex’s hands, trembling. “But he stuck with me. He filled my whole apartment. . . my whole life. . . with his unquenchable enthusiasm. When I wanted to be sad and alone, he dragged me out of my shell, demanded we play video games, go for a walk, get ice cream, and all the stupid stuff friends are supposed to do. And he just wouldn’t leave. I even tried pushing him, refusing to do all that stupid stuff with him, and just generally sending a message that he wasn’t wanted. And he wouldn’t have it. He stuck to me like glue. He pushed back and he won. And. . .” His smiled widened. “I thought that if at least one person cared enough to stick with me even after all that, maybe life was worth living after all.” 

Alex listened to Ryland’s words with his heart and chest aching, his tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks. He leaned his face onto Ryland’s shoulder, wrapping one arm around him.

“God damnit, Ryland. . .” he muttered. “You’re worth so much more than that.” 

“I know,” Ryland said, leaning his head against Alex’s. “I think I’m finally starting to understand that.” 

Alex lifted his head, just a little. Their faces were so close he could feel Ryland’s warm breath on his chin and neck.

He needed Ryland to know how much he was worth. How much. . . how much Alex loved him. God, their lips were so close. . .

But he still hadn’t been able to read whether or not Ryland felt the same. The last few weeks had been completely amazing for their friendship. It had moved to a new level of understanding and intimacy that Alex never thought anyone could get to. And it had fully opened feelings for the man next to him that Alex felt he had long suppressed. 

Romantic feelings. 

But Ryland was so. . . distant when it came to that stuff. Alex was understanding more and more why that was, and the last thing he wanted to do was push him. After all this open heart baring, both of them were quite vulnerable. He just wanted Ryland to feel safe. And loved. 

The wrong move could scare Ryland away. Just the thought of that threatened to rip Alex apart. 

But they were so close. . . God, he wanted to kiss him so bad. 

And he didn’t think he could. 

Ryland tilted his head down. “Alex. . .? Are you. . .?” 

Alex didn’t realize until just then that his lips were half parted. He shut his mouth quickly and turned his face away. “I don’t want to force you.” 

“Who said you were?” 

Alex’s heart skipped a beat. Should he straight up ask? Move away? Wait for Ryland to make the first move? 

Just give in and go for it?

He went for the final option. 

He reached for Ryland’s mouth, giving him time to back out if needed. Ryland only closed his eyes. Alex closed his too, and pressed their lips together. 

The kiss was soft, uncertain, slow, but. . . amazing. Heat ran up Alex’s neck, warming his face and quickening his heartbeat. He reached his hand up and ran it through Ryland’s hair. It was every bit as soft and silky as he had expected it to be.

Ryland leaned into the kiss after a moment, pressing their bodies close together, wrapping a hand behind Alex’s neck. His skin radiated heat as well, warming Alex’s cheeks and lips and further encouraging him to deepen the kiss, letting passion take over, telling Ryland the best way he knew how that he was loved. 

He wasn’t sure how long the kiss went for, but he knew it wasn’t long enough. But when Ryland moved to pull away, he let him, hoping he hadn’t pushed his boundaries too far.

Ryland stared into Alex’s eyes, his hand still behind Alex’s neck, his breath heavy. Slowly he broke into a huge grin. The biggest Alex had ever seen on him. 

Alex returned the grin, his eyes still watering, though this time it was out of pure joy. He reached his hand down, gripped Ryland’s wrist, and brought it to his face. He softly kissed the little pink scars, nearly unnoticeable in Ryland’s flushed skin. 

“You will never be alone again,” Alex said. “I will always be here for you. No matter what.” 

Ryland buried his face in Alex’s neck, wrapping both arms around him. Alex returned the hug, stroking Ryland’s amazing hair. 

“I love you, Alex,” Ryland said. “And. . . and you know what I mean this time.” 

Alex pressed a kiss to the side of Ryland’s head. “I do. And I love you too, Ryland.” 

Another moment passed, though Ryland still clung to Alex. 

“You’re going to be amazing tomorrow,” he muttered.

 _“We’re_ going to be amazing tomorrow,” Alex said. “Because the only reason I’m amazing is because you’re amazing.” 

Ryland let out a little chuckle into Alex’s neck, but he said nothing. Alex’s heart soared hearing Ryland just. . .be happy. 

He didn’t know why it took such a dramatic event in their lives to allow themselves to be so open with each other. But now, he wouldn’t trade it for the world.


	19. Chapter 19

“I can’t believe we fucking lost the first match!” Kamal shouted as the team left the stage. 

Dan wasn’t too worried though, since it was exactly how he predicted. “We’ll be fine, Kamal.” 

“Easy for you to say, bitch,” Kamal said. “You don’t have anything riding on this.” 

“Loser’s bracket,” Lorenzo said. “What does that even mean?”

Sam sighed. “The definition is in the title. It’s the bracket for the teams that lose.” 

“How can you just toss this aside like it doesn’t matter?” Kamal asked Dan. 

Dan crossed his arms, his tight sports coat riding up his arms. They were back to essentially word for word dialogue taken directly from the episode. He fought the discomfort and reworked his hair back into a loose ponytail. 

“Because this is how it happened in the show,” Arin said, drawing everyone’s attention. “Esports People lost their first match, then fought their way out of the loser’s bracket.” 

“And you think we’ll just be able to do that with no problem?” Kamal spat. “You’re not Boogerboss.” 

“But I’m not helpless either,” Arin growled. “We can get out of this. I know we can.” 

“So Coach,” Ash said, crossing her arms. “Any words of wisdom before we tackle the loser’s bracket?” 

Dan took a deep breath. “Alex had a speech all prepared for you guys. I still have it memorized and I could say it word for word right now if I wanted to.” He glanced at them all. “But I won’t. Alex’s speech aimed to motivate you by pointing out everything that went wrong in your lives and why winning will help cover those mistakes.” He met Arin’s eyes, then nodded. “But you have more to motivate you than that.”

Arin nodded with a smile. 

Dan turned to Sam. “Sam, you came into this as a Singles player. Unused to teamwork, alone, struggling to understand friendship. But you befriended everyone on this team. You worked to understand the teamwork needed in Killcore. You’re ready to defend Alex and Ryland even when they aren’t here to see you do it. You even told me that you wouldn’t trade this even for another shot at the Olympics.” Sam met his eyes and Dan smiled. “You found a family.” 

“Ash,” Arin said. “You were practically forced to join this team, desperate to prove yourself, thinking this was your last chance. You let your worries overcome you and drive you to drinking. But when Steamin’ tried to make life difficult for Ryland, you took the high road. And you recognized a problem with your habits and you’re working to fix them. You took the selfless path.” Ash lowered her head, but she smiled.

“Lorenzo,” Dan said. “You came to this game having no flipping clue what you were doing. But with hard work, determination, and a little help from a couple of coaches, you’ve seriously improved. None of us would be here today without you. And I think you found a new purpose in life here.” Lorenzo grinned at Dan, blushing slightly.

“And Kamal,” Arin continued. “You--”

“Yeah, yeah, I realized being a jerk all the time isn’t actually all that productive and being friends with Lorenzo is actually cooler than I thought it would be, blah, blah, blah.” But he still smiled. “I get it. We were losers. Now we’re not.” 

“Well,” Sam said. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

“We’re winners,” Dan said. “You’re all winners, whether or not we win this tournament. We’re going to prove that today. Let’s get out there and crush it!” 

Lorenzo leapt to his feet, holding out a hand for a high five and Dan slapped it hard.

Then they entered their first loser’s match. 

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, it is Esports People vs. Harmful Zone!” Terry Cruz shouted from the stage. “Let’s get this match started!” 

Arin stared warily at the screen. They’d never win if they really put Boogerboss on point. He wasn’t that good. They needed a new plan.

“Guys,” Arin said. “New strategy.” 

The team turned to Arin.

“I’m the one with the high reputation,” Arin said. “Everyone is going to go after Boogerboss.” 

“Duh,” Kamal said.

“So let them come for me. . . and let me lead them on a wild goose chase. That’ll give you guys time to get after their core.” 

“They’ll just kill you,” Ash said. 

“I’m good enough now that I can convince them I’m taking some kind of wild card strategy,” Arin said. “We can make it work.” 

“I trust you, Arin,” Lorenzo said. 

“Me too,” Sam added.

“God, can we get this whole kumbaya session over with and just play?” Kamal muttered.

Ash gripped Arin’s shoulder. “You’ve got this.” 

They dove into the game. 

It was a hard thirty minutes, but Arin’s strategy worked well. He not only managed to monopolize the attention of their rivals, but careful ult reserving meant he took them out regularly, giving Esports People the time to take out their core. 

Arin leapt out of his seat when they won. “Yes!!” Dan wrapped his arms around him from behind. 

And so it went. They took out every team they faced in the losers bracket, Dan and Arin’s elation growing with every win. 

When they finally took out Shiny Happy, Arin leapt out of his seat and shouted “This is my life!” 

And that scared him. 

But before he could truly process that he had involuntarily shouted what should have been Ryland’s line, Dan bounded on stage and threw an arm around him, shouting congratulations in his ear.

Then the big screen announced their semi-final match with Lucid Nightmare. 

Arin felt like he was going to be sick. 

Dan picked it up immediately. “Arin? You okay?” 

Arin just clutched Dan’s arm. “I’m . . . I’ll be fine.” 

The interview went by so quick that he didn’t really register it happened. . . other than the fact that, again, he used Ryland’s exact answers when the reporter asked him questions. He even tried to say something different, and it wouldn’t come out right. 

Holy fucking god. 

He hardly noticed when the crazy, overly dressed woman dropped the glowing green invitation into Ryland’s hands. 

“Oh, that’s an invitation to the afterparty!” the report shouted. She leaned into Arin’s shoulder. “Need a plus one?” 

God, he needed to get out of this. 

Arin was practically ready for a nervous breakdown by the time they returned to the hotel to change. He sat on his bed, blank faced, dumbfounded.

Dan sat next to him, gripping his shoulder. “Arin, stay with me.” 

“Ryland’s lines just. . . came out,” Arin said. “Like I wasn’t even controlling myself. Like I wasn’t the one saying them.” 

“I know,” Dan said. “I’ve had a couple of Alex’s lines do that to me too. But we did play these characters and this is the exact same setting. I’m not surprised at all. It’s just actor instinct.” 

“Since when do either of us have enough experience for actor instinct?” 

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Dan said. “You’ve got more than you think.” 

Arin didn’t respond. He just stared forward, counting the wrinkles on the comforter on Dan’s bed. 

Dan gently clutched Arin’s wrist. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” 

Arin kept his eyes trained on the bedspread. “Are you going?” 

Dan chewed his bottom lip. “The rest of the team is. I don’t feel right sending them alone, especially knowing what’s going to happen.” 

Arin finally turned and met Dan’s eyes. “So you plan to warn them after all.” 

Dan shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” 

Arin took a deep breath. “. . .I don’t want to be here alone.” 

Dan tightened his grip on Arin’s shoulder. “I’ll stay here with you if you want me to. We’ll rent a video game system and pretend we’re doing Game Grumps or something.” 

“You’ll abandon the team.”

“You’re more important,” Dan said.

Arin thought about how much progress the team had been making, his and Dan’s earlier speeches running through his mind. This was going to be a hard night for them, and he didn’t want it to ruin all their progress. 

For that matter. . . Suzy would be there.

Arin didn’t care that it wasn’t his Suzy. He didn’t care what Dan said about it. He just wanted to see her face again. . .

“I’ll come,” Arin said.

Dan tightened the grip on Arin’s wrist. “You’re sure?” 

“I’m sure,” Arin said. He stood. “I should probably shower first though.” 

Dan smirked. “Fair enough. You smell like shit.” 

Arin rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan.” 

Dan grinned. “Love you, honey bear.” 

“Right,” Arin said. He headed for the bathroom. As he stripped down for the shower, his mind wandered to Suzy.

God, just one chance to see her face. It’d be worth the horrors of the party tonight. 

He didn’t have a choice. He had to go.


	20. Chapter 20

Barry picked Alex and Ryland up the next day a few hours before they needed to set off for the Game Grumps Live event. Ryland sat up front. He should have been worried or nervous about the event that night, but every thought was geared toward processing what happened the previous night. 

The taste of Alex’s kiss still lingered. He closed his eyes, replaying the moment in his head, letting himself get lost in the memory. 

Who would have thought he’d allow himself that luxury ever again? And with Alex no less? 

Without really thinking about it, he rubbed one of his wrists through his shirt, feeling the tiny bumps there. It had been a long time since he really thought about them. Certainly he had never told a soul about his deepest depression days. 

But it felt right telling Alex. Alex, of all people, understood. 

He should have told him ages ago.

They had both turned in after their talk, feeling nervous about the next day, still taking a couch each. Their kiss, Ryland’s confession, all of it still felt too new, and too big to process all in one night. And Ryland needed more time and. . . and practice with the physical stuff. 

Alex happily gave him the space he needed. 

Ryland did feel particularly adventurous that next morning though, and he woke Alex with a soft kiss. It was so wonderful to see pure joy on Alex’s face again. No worries, no alcohol withdrawals, no panicking about the situation they were in. Just. . . love.

Holy hell. Someone loved him. Alex loved him. Amazing, wonderful, grinning, loving, optimistic Alex. A smile ghosted his lips just thinking about it. 

He caught Barry eyeballing him out of the corner of his vision. He furrowed his brow, but Barry only smiled and went back to driving. 

They arrived at the Grump space just a few minutes later and walked inside. Ryland took in every inch of it as they walked around. When they had first got here, it was a place of fear and a reminder of all the failures Ryland had ever had in life.

But being here now. . . it was a place of familiarity. Of friends. Of the positive things that Alex and Ryland could strive for, in their own way, if they so choose to do. 

It became a home.

And somehow, walking around it, Ryland started to believe that this was the last time he’d ever see it. 

Alex ran a finger down the wall with comic drawings of Dan and Arin, taking the image in fondly. He reached for Ryland’s hand. “You feel it too.” 

Ryland squeezed Alex’s hand as a response. Neither were comfortable vocalizing it. 

They continued into the main office. 

It was an odd dichotomy. The first day they had come in, everyone was all smiles seeing them, mistaking them for completely different people. Now everyone was all smiles. . . for them. For Ryland and Alex. Their greetings reflected their friendships with these people. Even Suzy grinned now when she saw them. It really was like home. 

Ryland started wondering if he really did want to go back to where he came from. 

Alex squeezed his hand again. Maybe he was feeling the same thing. 

But home would be fine. They had each other. They had their team. They’d make it the home that they had somehow built in their short time here. 

Brian walked into the room with a clipboard and paused the moment he saw Ryland and Alex. He narrowed his eyes at them. 

“You guys didn’t fuck on Dan’s bed, did you?” he asked.

Ryland practically got whiplash from the emotional switch from happy home place to soul-crushing embarrassment. He and Alex immediately released their handhold, both turning bright red. Ryland shrank back. 

“Oh, my fucking god, _no.”_  
“The couch then?” Brian asked. “Because--”  
“We didn’t fuck at _all,_ you fucking asshole!” Ryland shouted.

Brian rested one hand on his hip. “Well, something must have happened because I could smell the pheromones the moment you walked in.”

Ryland buried his face in his hand. “Oh my god, someone kill me now.” 

Alex didn’t help things when he reached over, gave Ryland a sideways hug, and lightly kissed the side of his head.

_“Alex.”_

“What?” Alex said. “If he can smell it. . .” 

“Oh my god, he was joking!” 

Brian eyed them, his face a mask of seriousness. 

“You _are_ joking,” Ryland said. He frowned. “Tell me you’re joking.” 

Brian just shrugged. “Let’s just say, it’s about time.” 

Ryland’s whole head and neck flushed. “Fuck.” 

That got some laughs, and quite a few congratulations from the crew. Suzy even let out a mild squee sound. 

“Just keep that stuff to a minimum when you go on stage tonight, guys,” Barry said. “The last thing we want to do is encourage the shippers.” 

It took a moment for Ryland to realize Barry was talking about Arin and Dan shippers. “Wait. Arin and Dan have shippers?” 

Barry laughed. “Yes.” 

“But Arin is married!” 

“Doesn’t stop the shippers,” Barry said with a grin. “Arin and Dan’s ship name is ‘Egobang’ for Egoraptor and Sexbang.” 

“Fucking Christ,” Ryland said, running a hand down his face. 

“You guys have shippers too,” Suzy said. “For Good Game.” 

Ryland eyed her. “What.” 

“Oooh,” Alex practically leapt up and down. “Do we have a ship name too?” 

“Rylex,” Suzy said, laughing. “They even made up nicknames that you guys call each other.” 

Alex’s eyes lit up. “What--”

“Don’t even _ask,”_ Ryland said.

“Awww.” 

“Anyways,” Barry said. He pulled out a plastic folding scoresheet with flipplible cards. “Are you guys ready for tonight?”

Ryland took a deep breath, trying to push aside the embarrassment and focus on the here and now. “Before we do. . . I have a question for all of you.” 

Everyone turned, giving Ryland their full attention. Even Alex faced him, mildly confused.

Ryland met all their eyes, then forced the question out.

“Why do you all love Arin Hanson?” 

The room grew oddly silent. A few people exchanged glances. 

Alex slipped his hand into Ryland’s again.

“Because he cares for people,” Ross finally said from a corner of the room. “He just. . . he puts so much of his time and effort and life into other people. I don’t know how he does it. He’s just. . . selfless.”   
“He’s funny,” Barry said. “Like, we all know he went through some hard shit growing up, and he’s never let that bring him down. He’s focused on the now and the fact that he’s got the ability to be as goofy or weird as he wants to be. He uses that to light up other people’s lives.” 

“He’s kind,” Suzy said. She twisted her hands in her lap. “I’m sure that all comes back to the selfless side of him, but he makes such a significant effort to treat everyone with respect, with. . . with love.” She wiped a tear away. “Because he’s seen what a lack of that does to people. He doesn’t want anyone else to go through that.” 

Ryland nodded. That confirmed it all. Arin was all the things that Ryland wasn’t. How this guy managed to play Ryland on a TV show was behind Ryland’s ability to imagine. He clutched tighter to Alex’s hand. Alex loved him regardless. He had to hold on to that. 

“You’re all those things too, Ryland,” Alex said, breaking Ryland’s thoughts. 

Ryland blinked at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You’re selfless,” Alex said. “You were selfless when you let me move in with you. I had no job, no prospects, nothing. But you gave me a place to stay.” 

Ryland frowned. “But--”

“And you’re kind,” Alex continued. “I’ve seen the way you’ve tried to help our team, the way you worry about Ash’s drinking problem, the way you yell at kids when they bully each other, or when you buy a few groceries for the homeless guy who hangs out at the store even when you don’t have much money. You care about people.” 

Ryland furrowed his brow. “Alex--”

“And yeah, maybe you’re not that funny,” Alex said. “But you’ve been through some shit in life too, and it dragged you down. But you let others pull you back up. And you try to pull others up so they don’t have to go through what you went through. You may not light up everyone’s life the way Arin does but. . . you certainly light up mine.” 

Ryland stared up at Alex, speechless. 

Alex smiled at him and softly kissed the top of his head. “I love you just the way you are. You don’t need to be Arin. You need to be you.” 

“He’s right,” Brian said, smiling. “I believe I already told you that.” 

Ryland glanced around at the smiling and nodding faces. 

“Now,” Barry said. “If we could get ready, I’d kind of like to leave early. Oxnard isn’t that far away, but if we don’t leave soon we’ll hit that stupid LA traffic.” 

“Yeah,” Ryland said. “Right.” 

Suzy stood and hugged them both. “You guys will do great. I believe in you.” 

Ryland took a shuddering breath and hugged her back. “Thanks.” 

Half-an-hour later, the group was on the road headed for the venue, their costumes packed up and even the magical guitar tucked away, just in case.

This was it. Somehow Ryland knew it would be the end.

And he wasn’t sure he wanted it to end.


	21. Chapter 21

Arin followed Dan up the stairs of Jesse’s house, taking up the rear of their group. Arin wore the same outfit Ryland had worn in the episode. He wasn’t sure why he picked that one. He should have picked something different, just to toss it up. But he didn’t feel like he had a choice. 

Dan wore the same outfit too, right down to the wide open shirt and bright yellow Esports People jacket. Arin didn’t ask why. Perhaps neither of them even knew why.

So many fucking memories of this weird place. So many worries. . . why the hell was he here? Why didn’t he and Dan just swear off this party? Why did they let the team come? 

Why was he opening doors he shouldn’t be opening? 

Arin handed the invitation to a door porter at the entrance to the room and the group stood in an uncomfortable circle, everyone suddenly wary and worried. 

“What are we supposed to do here?” Sam asked.

“Find an open bar. . .” Ash muttered. 

“Aren’t we all single?” Lorenzo asked with a grin.

Arin pressed his eyes shut tight. The constant line repeating from the show. . .

“Come over here for a moment, everyone,” Dan said, pulling them all to a more private corner, effectively cutting off the cycle of repeated lines. 

Arin glanced about the room as they walked, nervously searching for Suzy. He shouldn’t but. . . damn it all. 

Ash frowned when they got to their slightly more private corner. “Something wrong?” 

Dan tossed a glance at Arin. Arin just gave him a sad nod. 

“In the episode we did with this party. . .” Dan started. “Um. . . well. . . it’s honestly not all that pleasant for anyone.” 

Sam crossed her arms. “Why’d you let us come here at all then?” 

Dan lowered his gaze, almost a bit sheepish. Guilty even. “I don’t think we had a choice. You guys are one of the top teams right now. Not making an appearance could hurt your reputation.” 

Ash snorted. “That’s a terrible excuse.”

“I think it has the potential to be a good time,” Dan said, holding his hands out defensively. “Most of you start off well, it just. . . goes pear shaped. I want to help you prevent that.” 

“Warnings for everyone then,” Sam said. 

“Yes,” Dan said. He turned to Lorenzo. “You’re going to meet Monster Pope’s voice actor today, and he’s going to be. . . well, very interested in you.” 

Lorenzo’s eyebrow picked up. “What?” 

Before Lorenzo asked anything further, he turned to Sam. “You’re going to meet him too, and you’re going to drunk-kiss him if you’re not careful. Don’t do that, please.” 

Sam stuck out her tongue. “Ew. No.” 

“Ash, you’re going to go seeking out the wine cellar,” Dan said. “Please. . . don’t do that.” 

Ash frowned, glanced at Arin, then took a deep breath. “Fine.” 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “And what horrible thing is gonna happen to me?”   
Dan frowned. “Um. Actually, you’re going to meet a girl with a Sweet Nuts clan tattoo and get one yourself to impress her. Also, she’s a humongous troll like you are.” 

Kamal blinked at him. “That. . . doesn’t sound bad at all.” 

“Your mom might kill you.” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Kamal said. “I’m off to find this troll bitch.” He turned with a grin and left. 

Dan rolled his eyes. 

“So what are we really supposed to do?” Ash asked, her arms crossed.

“Just. . . take care of each other,” Dan said. “Is that so hard?” 

Everyone exchanged glances. Ash shrugged and the group dispersed.

Dan watched them walk off, frowning. “Think they’ll be okay?” 

Arin just shrugged.

Dan eyed him. He gripped Arin’s shoulder. “You are not allowed to go looking for Suzy.” 

Arin narrowed his eyes. “I’m not going to.” 

“Bullshit,” Dan said. “Do you really think I don’t know your motivations for coming here? I’m your fucking best friend. And damnit, you aren’t allowed to go after her. She’s not your wife.” 

Arin glared. “Since when do you have the ability to tell me what I can and can’t do?” 

“Since we’re stuck in a world where seeing a pink-haired drugged up bimbo that looks your wife will do unimaginable damage to your psyche, Arin,” Dan said. “I know you miss Suzy. I totally get that. But going after her strange doppelganger isn’t going to dull the pain. It’s going to make it worse.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“You think I don’t?” Dan said. “You love Suzy, Arin. _Suzy._ Not her weird copy. You’ll be staring at a woman who you think you have deep feelings for and not being able to do a thing about it.” 

“Suzy has a twin,” Arin said. “Think I’ve never looked at a woman who looks exactly like my wife before and been able to handle it?” 

“But you _know_ Jean,” Dan said. “And you know all the ways she’s different than Suzy. And you’ve never looked at Jean, knowing she’s not Suzy, as a way to cope with missing your wife. That’s not the same at all.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe I just don’t _fucking care,”_ Arin shouted, shrugging off Dan’s hand on his shoulder. “Maybe I’ll just do whatever I goddamn want to do because you can’t stop me!” 

Dan took a step back, shock on his face. “Arin--”

 _“Don’t,”_ Arin said. “Don’t try to stop me, Dan.” He turned and pushed his way through the party goers. 

“Arin, _wait!”_

But Arin lost him in the crowd. 

God. What was he doing? Yelling at his best friend? Damaging his relationship with his only connection to home? All because he intended to go after someone who looked like his wife to try and. . . god, do what? Alleviate some pain? He knew better than that. He knew Dan was right.

What the fuck was he doing to himself? 

And why couldn’t he stop?   
Someone crashed into him. He stood back. “Sorry, sorry! I wasn’t--”

“It’s okay!” A bubbly female voice chirped. “I wasn’t watching where I was going, ha ha!” 

Arin froze and turned to see the person he had run into, his heart seizing. 

A pink haired chick with a dark purple dress, holding a powdered donut in her hand stared at him with wide, heavily makeup’d eyes. 

It took all of Arin’s willpower not to spit out the name Suzy.

“Oh em gee, you’re Boogerboss!” she squealed, talking way too fast. “You were completely amazing in the match today!” 

Arin’s heart pounded. “Um. Thanks.” 

“Seriously, you were just _the bomb.”_ She dissolved into crazy giggles, grinned wider and held the donut out to him. “Coke donut?” 

He held a hand up, stepping back. “Uh, no thanks. I don’t do that stuff.” 

Her face immediately turned pouty. “Wow, what a pussy! Come on, live a little!” She pushed the donut closer to his face. 

He took a step back. “No, please. I don’t--”

“Aww, come on. . .” she coaxed. “Do the donut, then maybe we could find a room upstairs? That’d be a story to tell, huh? Got high and fucked the famous Boogerboss?” 

Arin pressed his eyes shut, desperate to prevent images of his more intimate times with Suzy from entering his conscious mind and mixing with this. . . whatever this situation was. Why the fuck did he do this? 

She leaned in closer to him, her warm breath grazing his neck, her gaze sensual. “You know you want to--”

 _“No,”_ Arin said, backing up, still pushing against images of Suzy trying to bombard his head. “I’m sorry, but no. Please. . . please just go.” 

She sneered at him, any traces of the Suzy’s sensual side suddenly erased in favor of. . . contempt. It stabbed right through Arin’s heart. 

“Fine. Your loss!” She turned and ran off after someone else, waving the coke donut over her head. 

Arin blinked at her. That was nothing like his Suzy. His loving, kind, understanding, goofy, sensual Suzy. His eyes grew hot and his vision blurred as he watched the woman run off. 

That was not his Suzy. He leaned his head in his hand.

Why the _fuck_ did he do this? 

Someone slipped their hand into his. He turned to see Ash standing next to him, frowning. “Was that your wife?” 

He glanced after the woman, now engaged with some other man, waving the coke donut in his face. He grinned lecherously at her and she giggled. They locked arms and walked off. 

Arin took a shuddering breath, not caring about the tears now. Dan was right. He never should have done this. He knew that and he did it anyway. He was a fucking idiot. 

He gripped Ash’s hand tighter.

“No,” he said simply, his voice squeaking. 

Ash sighed. She released Arin’s hand and drew him into a hug. He hugged her back, trying to keep the sobs quiet.


	22. Chapter 22

Dan ran through the crowd, desperate to find Arin.

How did he lose him? How did he let Arin get away from him? 

Fuck, why did he ever bring anyone to this shithole of a party? He let everyone down. 

_Fuck._

“Arin!” Dan called. “Arin, come back, please!” But there was no answer. 

He ran up the steps leading to the outdoor garden and pool, having scoured the house with no luck. “Arin!” 

Someone bumped into him as he climbed the stairs. He turned around and caught the person before they fell. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t--” He blanked, staring at a blonde-haired woman in a white dress with a VR set around her head. She pulled it off slowly, grinning at him. He took a step back. “Oh, shit.” 

“It’s okay, cutie,” she said, walking closer to Dan. “I don’t mind meeting new strangers.”

Dan held his hands up. “I’m. . . I’m gonna go.” 

“Oh, come on,” the woman said, inching closer. “Surely you want to flirt with the cute girl in a short dress. . .”

Dan’s face grew red. “I--”

She reached a hand up and pulled his shirt open further, lightly running fingers down his bare chest. “Your shirt’s wide open. . . surely that means you want to find a girl and have a good time. . .”

That did it. 

Dan plucked the woman’s hand off his chest and pulled it away, stepping back. “Yeah, and a girl wearing a short skirt is asking to be raped. Sexual harassment doesn’t know a gender and double standards are a thing.”

The girl’s eyes grew wide, then she glared at him. “You--”

Dan dropped her hand and turned. 

And nearly ran in to Steamin’. 

“Good god!” Dan said. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Steamin’ crossed his arms. “Watching you harass my girl apparently.” 

Dan glared. “Don’t even start. You know better than that.” 

“Really?” Steamin’ said, lowered his gaze. “Is that what you think, Dan?” 

Dan’s retort immediately died on his lips and his eyes widened. Oh, shit. “I-I’m not--”

“Don’t try to defend yourself,” Steamin’ said. “I know who you are. You and Arin. I saw the whole thing on Ryland’s webcam.” He snorted. “I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it if Arin hadn’t shown up to my house so damn confident. Ryland would have fallen to pieces if I had done those things to him. Which was the whole intent, of course.”

Dan ignored his fast-beating heart, focusing his anger on Steamin’. “You little piece of shit.” 

“Whatever it takes to win,” Steamin’ said. “I’ll tell you what, Dan. I’m not going to say anything about this little switchup. No one would believe me anyways. But know this. You are not Alex. Arin is not Ryland. You have no chance in hell to win tomorrow. The only reason you got where you were is because you fought the losers. And Arin baited them. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” 

Dan formed fists. “You--”

“You’re ruining all of this for Alex and Ryland, despite what good you think you’re doing for them,” Steamin’ said. “And there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it.” He grinned his poisonous grin. “Thanks for making things easier for me.” He grabbed the girl around the waist and pulled her away. “Good luck!” 

Dan seethed. That little--

“Oh, also, you might want to find your buddy before he does something stupid,” Steamin’ called over his shoulder. “Last I heard, he wasn’t doing too well.” He disappeared down the stairs. 

Dan’s heart seized. He had to find Arin. Now. 

\-----

Arin wandered the party, looking for Dan.

He never should have left him. God, he never should have gone looking for Suzy. What the fuck was he thinking? He rubbed his eyes, sure they were red from crying. Maybe he needed a bathroom first. He turned deeper into the house. 

A familiar song wafted through the open windows. A Starbomb song. Arin frowned, and headed for an open door.

Sure enough, on a small stage in front of him, three guys dressed in familiar Starbomb outfits were belting out the ending to It’s Dangerous to Go Alone.

But the people on stage were definitely not familiar. 

God. Someone else on stage, butchering their music. They weren’t even that good. 

Well. Maybe he couldn’t go that far. But the singer dressed in blue lacked Dan’s finesse and the rapper. . . well, if Arin really listened closely, he caught a couple of mistakes. 

But the keyboardist. . . 

The moment the song ended, the singer said they were finished for the night and were making way for TWRP, which sent another shock up Arin’s spine. The singer and rapper hopped off stage and mingled with the crowd, but the keyboardist turned down a small path of tall bushes and disappeared as sneakily as any ninja. 

Arin couldn’t help it. He followed. 

And was shocked to see Jesse hidden deep in the pathway. Arin hid himself as best he could. Shit. Wasn’t Brian supposed to. . . to kill Jesse at some point? Assuming that was Brian.

But that couldn’t be Brian. No one else in the Starbomb band was right. That wasn’t Brian.

The ninja spoke. 

“I’m still working.” 

Arin’s vision blurred and the shock in his body made his knees weak. That was unmistakably Brian.

“Keep looking,” Jesse said. 

The ninja gave an outlandish bow, then turned.

Arin ran. He had to find Dan.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back, crazies! Took a break to finish my Merman!Arin AU fanart. ;) (Which you can check out here: https://ra-meenan.deviantart.com/art/Merman-AU-Fanart-709971462 ) (You can find the fiction here on Tumblr: https://writergrump.tumblr.com/post/166310766903/can-you-give-links-to-all-the-mermanarin-au ) Expect chapters rather regularly again. We’re about to hit some pretty crazy stuff soon.

Dan felt a panic attack coming on, and every second made it harder to squash it.

He had been all over the house now, checking rooms, talking to people, exploring the gardens, even investigating bathrooms and he couldn’t find Arin anywhere. He had tried calling Ryland’s phone probably fifteen times, and still no answer. He told himself that that was a good sign – hopefully it meant Arin was still at the party and just couldn’t hear the phone. 

Or Arin was ignoring him.

Or doing who knew what with Suzy’s doppelganger. 

Or. . . Dan shook his head. He couldn’t let his mind wander that far.

Arin was somewhere. He was fine. Safe. Dan would find him.

God, he hoped he would find him. 

It didn’t help that TWRP had taken the stage recently. Listening to their music, seeing the band on stage. . . it just grated on his psyche. It was like being home, but of course he wasn’t. 

He needed Arin.

But he ran into Ash instead. She frowned when she saw him. “Did you find Arin?” 

Dan swallowed panic, speaking too fast. “No, I can’t find him anywhere, have you seen him?” 

Ash rubbed one of her arms. “He ran into that chick that looks like his wife.” 

Dan rubbed the bridge of his nose, hoping to god that Arin was still somewhere at the party and he could find him. “God damnit, Arin.”

“He went looking for you,” Ash said, her voice quiet despite the noise of the party. “I was trying to help him, but. . .”

Dan narrowed his eyes. Her tone was not good. “What happened?” 

A guy in a dark suit, carrying a drink and smelling of alcohol, waddled up to Ash and threw an arm around her neck without permission. “Heeeyyyy, I’m hearing rumors that this is who I come to for a good time. . .” He reached out for a kiss.

Ash shoved him away and he fell to the floor, spilling his drink over his suit. “Get the fuck away from me. I don’t know who started that rumor but it’s not fucking true.” 

“Okay, okay, god,” the guy said, barely able to pull himself to his feet. “I’ll go find some other chick.” 

Ash sneered, but moved closer to Dan, nervous, as if she sought protection.

Dan gripped her shoulder defensively. “The fuck was that?” 

“I’ve. . . been getting it almost all night,” Ash said. “I don’t even know where it’s coming from. When I found Arin, I was going to ask if he wouldn’t mind at least pretending we were dating so I could avoid some of these assholes. But when I saw his reaction to seeing his wife. . .”

“That’s not his wife,” Dan said automatically.

“I know,” Ash said. Several more party patrons leered at her. She leaned closer to Dan. “He. . . he took seeing her really hard. I couldn’t ask him for help with that after what he had just gone through.”

Dan frowned, and wrapped a protective arm around her. This was definitely not what he had in mind when he let the team come here. This was. . . far, far worse. Fuck. “Just stick with me. We’ll find him together.” 

Then Sam and Lorenzo walked up to them, frowning. Sam jerked a thumb behind her. “Hey, we’re gonna go walk into traffic, so let the others know, okay?” 

Dan’s frown deepened. “What happened now?” 

“We met Monster Pope’s voice actor,” Lorenzo said, his voice squeaking. “He. . . shunned me. He just. . . god, I’m still having trouble processing it. He just. . . hated on me. Like I had done something wrong. Others around him joined in.” 

Dan lifted both eyebrows. “What?” 

Sam put a hand on Lorenzo’s shoulder, something she’d never done before. “I heard him. And I’ll admit, I went off on him. And he turned the other people around him on me too.” 

Dan felt numb. “But. . . that wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

“Well, life isn’t a TV show, Dan,” Sam said, rubbing Lorenzo’s shoulder while he sobbed quietly. 

Before Dan could respond, Kamal walked up, sulking, and strangely, soaking wet. Dan closed his eyes a moment before facing him. “So what happened to you?” 

“That chick told me I was a creepy stalker and pushed me into the pool,” Kamal said, shaking himself. “Said someone at the party told her I was a sexual predator or something.” He crossed his arms. “I may be a troll, but I’m not a predator. . . That really stung.” 

“Who told her?” 

“I don’t fucking know,” Kamal said, though his voice lacked its sting. “I think someone from Lucid Nightmare. . .”

Dan formed a fist with his free hand. Steamin’. That asshole. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not even close. He was supposed to give his team – his friends – advice and let them have a good time. And Steamin’ was spreading rumors.

That _fucking asshole._

And he still didn’t know where Arin was. He had to do something before the rumors got to him too. He may not be Ryland, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t vulnerable. Especially after what happened with the Suzy copy.

But he had looked everywhere. And he didn’t feel comfortable asking the team to help him find Arin. They had been beaten down by Steamin’s nonsense. They were in no state to do anything.

Hell, he should just tell them to go home.

“You should go sing with TWRP.” 

Dan whipped around. Who said that? 

But he didn’t see anyone. 

He did notice TWRP had finished their current song in favor of a few minutes break. He glanced up at the band, so familiar, yet so. . . distant. 

But why would he just go sing with them? Why would they even _let_ him sing with them? What good would that accomplish? 

And why did that voice sound so familiar?

“Sing with them,” the voice said again. “Trust me.” 

Dan whirled around again – and caught a glimpse of Ninja Brian, in full Starbomb yellow. He met Dan’s eye with his piercing blue eyes, then disappeared in the crowd. 

Dan’s eyes widened and a chill ran down his spine. He forgot Ninja Brian was in this world.

And he had no idea he was a Starbomb member. He was an assassin. . . fuck, he was an assassin. He was supposed to kill Jesse at some point.

Should he be doing something about that? He shuddered. 

Should he follow his advice? Would TWRP let him sing with them? He chewed his lip.

“Dan?” Ash’s voice broke Dan out of his thoughts. 

Dan squeezed her shoulder, then turned to the stage. “I’m going to talk with TWRP.” 

Sam blinked at him. “What?” 

“I’m going to see if I can sing with them.” 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “This isn’t some fucking musical where you can sing a song and make everything better.” 

But Dan was already walking toward the stage.


	24. Chapter 24

Arin couldn’t find Dan anywhere.

Did he somehow miss him? Did Dan leave? Was he still mad at Arin? 

Did Arin somehow permanently damage his friendship with Dan? 

He shook his head. That was stupid. They had had worse fights before and gotten through it. Dan was his best friend. They were practically brothers. They’d never get into a fight so big it couldn’t be repaired. 

Right?

Dan didn’t hate him.

But then why couldn’t he find him? 

And seeing Ninja Brian. . . Assassin Brian. . . that shook him. This whole thing was a lot more dangerous than he realized.

At least Brian wasn’t coming after him or Dan. But what about Jesse? 

God, this was so confusing. He needed Dan.

And then he heard Dan’s voice. 

“What’s up crazies!” Dan’s voice echoed through the speakers around the house. The ones connected to the stage. “How’s everyone feeling tonight!?”

Arin ran for the stage. 

Dan stood on the stage with TWRP, staring down the crowd with a grin, his hair loose and caressing his shoulders instead of in the ponytail he had been wearing prior. The rest of the team huddled near the stage, looking confused and almost. . . shamed. 

Arin swallowed hard. 

A few members of the crowd stopped what they were doing and stared at Dan on stage, though there were more than a few boos and jeers aimed at Esports People in general and Dan in particular, under Alex’s name. 

“Fuck you, Alex!” 

“Esports People sucks ass!” 

“Lucid’s going to kill you tomorrow!” 

Arin glanced at the rest of his team. They stared at the ground, avoiding eye contact. Lorenzo looked near tears. 

Arin formed a fist. They didn’t deserve that. 

Dan didn’t seem phased though. “I’m sure you’ve all heard the rumors Lucid is spreading around tonight. Steamin’s looking for any advantage he can get.” He aimed a wink at someone in the crowd. Arin followed his gaze and saw Steamin’ with his girlfriend, glaring at Dan. “Can’t say I blame him,” Dan continued. “Maybe if I had his level of intelligence I’d have done something similar. But I’m afraid my only useable skills are coaching--”

“That’s a fucking riot!” Steamin’ shouted.

“--And singing,” Dan finished, ignoring Steamin’. “And since I’m keeping my coaching skills to my amazing team – going to semifinals tomorrow, if I might remind everyone – I thought maybe I’d share my other skill with you all.” 

Arin blinked. What the hell?

Dan nodded to TWRP and No Pants Dance started up.

The crowd groaned. Arin heard someone declare it was TWRP’s worst song. Quite a few people claimed Alex would make it even worse than it already was.

Arin crossed his arms and waited for Dan to start singing.

Dan had already started swinging his hips in tune with the music, running a hand through his hair, getting lost in the music. 

_“Girl, nice to meet you  
Would you like to let me teach you  
All the ways I’d like to reach you  
From the back of the class. . .”_

Every naysayer stopped immediately. Even Steamin’s eyes widened.

Dan was in full Sexbang mode now, dancing sensually across the stage, grabbing the whole crowd’s attention.

_“You keep me guessin’, man  
You’re messing with my lesson plan  
Your body’s window dressing and  
My heart’s made of glass. . ._

_Sexual tension  
Was what I would like to mention  
This is like a new dimension   
And I want it to last. . .”_

Dan slipped his Esports People coat off and glanced at the crowd. He met eyes with Arin’s and, grinning, tossed the coat at him. Arin snatched it out of the air, relief washing over him. They had found each other again. Dan continued singing. 

_“It felt like destiny  
When you began undressin' me  
If this is just life testin' me  
It looks like I passed.” _

As the chorus started in, Dan bounded across the stage, matching vocals perfectly with Doctor Sung and enticing the crowd to groove with the music. A few people reluctantly danced in place. Several shot glances at Steamin’, who glared over the crowd like some kind of fun-sucking Terminator. 

Arin wouldn’t stand for that. He threw Dan’s coat over his shoulder and walked toward his team, clapping his hands, singing along, and encouraging the crowd to join in. A few more brave souls joined in the dancing, but most were still too wary of Steamin’s death glare. 

Time to ramp it up. He tossed Dan’s coat onto a corner of the stage, snatched up Ash’s hand and pulled her forward, starting up a dance. Ash blushed, but when she noticed Arin’s bold move encouraged others around them to follow suit, she pressed her lips together and let Arin lead. 

Pretty soon the audience exploded into dance, despite Steamin’s glaring. Arin twirled Ash dramatically, a grin on his face, before tossing an exaggerated wink at Steamin’. 

Steamin’ had never looked angrier. 

Lorenzo was the next of their team to join in. He held his head high then joined Arin and Ash in a very exaggerated and goofy dance. Arin laughed and stepped back to give Lorenzo room, grinning encouragingly at him. Sam watched them a moment before reluctantly joining in. Kamal rolled his eyes and purposefully danced with his arms swinging wildly, shedding water from his soaked shirt everywhere. 

Dan got to the instrumental interlude and pointed out in the audience. “Nothing drags us down! Come see Esports People totally thrash Lucid Nightmare tomorrow and finally take down corporate team nonsense!” 

“Esports People rules!” Arin called out, purposefully being as cheesy as possible, getting the crowd hyped and laughing. 

No one was watching Steamin’ anymore. 

The band finally ended the song with a final flourishing dance move from Dan. Arin and the rest of the team faced the crowd, and with Arin’s direction, everyone bowed, smiles on their faces. The audience applauded. Arin searched for Steamin’ in the crowd.

And his heart stopped. 

Steamin’ was talking with Ninja Brian. He pointed to the stage, talking rapidly, though Arin couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

He turned and locked eyes with Arin, his glare icier than Arin had ever seen it. 

Brian turned his head and met Arin’s eyes too. Arin’s breath hitched. 

Brian nodded to Steamin’, then turned away and disappeared into the crowd. Steamin’ tilted his head, staring down at Arin. There was murder in his gaze.  
 _Murder._

Arin took a step back. Oh, _shit._

They needed to get out. Now.


	25. Chapter 25

Dan ended the song feeling higher than he had in a long time. Damn, that felt good. Who said you couldn’t fix problems with singing? Kamal needed to watch more musicals. Dan couldn’t wait to rub it in his face. 

“Hey,” Doctor Sung tapped Dan’s shoulder. “Alex, right?” 

Dan nodded, mentally reminding himself that this was not the Doctor Sung he knew from home. “Yeah.” 

“That was seriously fantastic just now,” Sung continued. “I’ve never seen a crowd get so hyped by that song.”

Dan grinned. “Thanks, man.” 

“You looking for singing work?” Sung asked. “We’re planning on doing a CD with guest singers soon.” He pulled out a card and handed it to Dan. “Come to the auditions. We’re holding them a month from now. Maybe we can rerecord No Pants Dance.” 

Dan took the card in awe. _This._ This was Alex’s big break back into music. He let his grin widen. This is what Alex needed. “Damn. Sure, I’ll be there.”

“Glad we listened to Brian when he suggested we let you sing with us,” Sung said.

Dan froze. “Brian?” 

“From Starbomb,” Sung said. “He recommended you to us.”

Dan lifted both eyebrows. How did Brian know Dan sung? How did Brian know _anything?_ What the hell? 

Sung just patted Dan’s shoulder. “See you in a month! Unless you’d like to do another song?” 

Dan glanced at the edge of the stage and caught a glimpse of Arin.

Then he remembered his interactions with Steamin’. That asshole knew who they were. And Dan just pissed him off. He needed to get the team out of here and talk with Arin. “I think my team needs to head home. We do have a match tomorrow.” 

“Good point,” Sung said. “Good luck tomorrow.” He turned to the rest of the band. 

Dan took a deep breath. No matter what happened tomorrow, he at least knew he had done something right for Alex. He’d finally get that second chance. He walked to the edge of the stage, snatched up his sport’s coat, and turned to his team.

Dan slipped his coat back on and dramatically dusted his sleeves. “So, what were you saying about musicals, Kamal?” 

Kamal just rolled his eyes. 

Dan slipped between his friends toward Arin. He gripped the other man’s shoulder. “Arin--”

Arin practically leapt out of his skin. “God, Dan, don’t do that!” 

Dan frowned. “We need to talk.” 

“We need to get the fuck out of here,” Arin said, his voice shaky. _“Now.”_

Dan blinked. “What? Why?” 

“Brian’s in this world,” Arin said. 

“Yeah, I know,” Dan replied. “He’s apparently the reason TWRP let me sing with them.” 

_“Dan,”_ Arin said. “He’s a fucking assassin.” 

Dan paused. “Dude, he sings with Starbomb. He’s not an assassin.” 

_“He is,”_ Arin said. “I saw him with Jesse earlier, talking to him about some kind of job. And when you finished singing, Steamin’ was shouting at him about something while pointing at _us,_ Dan. He had fucking murder in his eyes. And Brian. . . god, that was the most terrifying look I’ve ever gotten from him. Then he just. . . he just fucking disappeared.” He gripped Dan’s arms. “We need to get out of here, _now.”_

Dan furrowed his brow. “You didn’t accidentally take one of the coke donuts, did you? ‘Cause I mean--”

 _“Dan, you need to fucking listen to me,”_ Arin said, shaking him a little. “Steamin’ wants us _gone._ He’s been trying to fuck with us ever since we got here and none of it’s working. He’s taking extreme measures now and we need _out.”_

Dan’s frown deepened. It wasn’t like Arin to be so paranoid. So if he was. . . 

He was right one thing. Steamin’ wanted them gone. It’s why he had started these elaborate rumors trying to ruin everyone’s reputations. 

But to think him capable of. . . of murder. . . Even that asshole wouldn’t stoop that low. Right? Did he even think he could get away with it? No one got away with murder. Not. . . not this high profile stuff. They were too much in the public eye. He’d never get away with it. Why do it?

A shock ran up Dan’s spine. But Steamin’ knew Dan and Arin weren’t Alex and Ryland. If Brian really was an assassin. . . if he really did. . . aim to take him and Arin out. . . if Alex and Ryland came back, no one would know the difference. There’d be no murder to cover up. 

This wasn’t a ploy to get rid of Alex and Ryland. It was a ploy to get rid of Dan and Arin. 

Assuming it was true. It seemed like such a massive logic jump. He traced his gaze through the party goers.

A flash of Starbomb yellow slipped through the crowd not far from them, and Dan froze. He caught a glimpse of those familiar, piercing blue eyes.

Arin shook him again. _“Dan.”_

“Brian’s behind you,” Dan said, pulling Arin behind him. “I don’t know how true all this is, but we’re not taking any chances. We’re leaving.” He turned to the rest of the team. “We’re going back to the hotel.” 

Ash frowned, staring at Arin near panic. “Good idea.” 

Dan herded the team toward the exit, keeping Arin close, taking up the rear of the parade, and scanning the crowd for any flashes of yellow. He caught a bit or two, but nothing concrete. 

God, this was terrifying.

By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the valet, Dan was nearly drenched in sweat from worry, and Arin was as pale as a sheet. Ash gripped Arin’s hand, mumbling soothing words, though they were aimed at Arin’s feelings about Suzy. She had no idea they had an assassin going after them.

None of them knew. 

_Shit._ How was Dan going to get them all out of here in one piece? He turned his gaze back up the stairs. 

Brian was half hidden on one of the balconies. Dan swallowed. He didn’t know if Brian was actually an assassin, but he sure as hell was following them. They were sitting ducks waiting here for their van.

He had to do something. 

Dan passed the valet ticket to Ash. “Get the van. I’ll be right back.” 

Arin stared at him, wide eyed. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“I’ll be right back,” Dan repeated, and he turned toward the stairs.

Arin gripped his hand. “Dan--”

Dan turned and gave Arin a tight hug. “I’ll be fine. Take care of the others.” 

Arin clutched Dan. “I’m not fucking letting you go.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Dan said again, trying to stop himself from shaking. He tugged on Arin’s arms and pulled his hug loose. “Don’t follow me.” He turned and jogged up the stairs before Arin had a chance to grab him again. 

What the fuck was he doing?

He caught another glimpse of Brian well-hidden on a balcony before he managed to get himself buried in the crowd.

 _Come on,_ Dan thought. _Follow me._

Brian left his hiding place and followed Dan’s path. 

Dan heaved relief. He needed to get Brian away from the group. He needed. . . he needed a private place. If Brian was an assassin, he wouldn’t do his work in a crowd. . .

Dan dashed into the house. 

Brian followed.

 _Shit, shit, shit._ Dan’s heart raced as he slipped through the near-empty halls, fighting to keep himself from sprinting, racking his brain for his next move. 

What the fuck was he doing? He wasn’t an assassin. He didn’t know how they thought. He didn’t know how to get out of this. All he knew was his friends were in danger. 

Arin was in danger. He had to do something. 

God, he was hot in this coat.

He blinked. The coat.

He slipped out of the house and into the garden.

The far end of the garden, away from the pool, was nearly devoid of people. The perfect place for. . . for an assassination. He headed there, keeping an eye out for Brian’s flashing yellow outfit. 

The tension was almost too much now. Either this would work. . . or he was a dead man. He slid behind a large bush and pulled off his coat.

Bright yellow. Obvious. The same thing Dan had been wearing all night. No one would mistake it.

Especially not Brian.

He hung the coat on a bush, doing his best to make it look like someone was still wearing it. It. . . might fool someone, in the low light. 

He had no idea if it would fool an assassin.

And he had no time to check if it worked. He left his decoy behind and, as quietly as he was able, he dashed through the crowd, back toward the exit. 

He wasn’t far before he heard the familiar rip of fabric and a curse in Brian’s voice. 

Fuck it. He ran. 

The van waited at the bottom of the stairs, the side door wide open and Arin’s panicked face staring out. 

“Start the van! Go!” Dan shouted. He leapt into the vehicle just as Lorenzo started driving off. Arin gripped Dan tightly, shouting at him about how stupid he was. 

Just as Dan shut the van door, he caught a final glimpse of a pair of angry blue eyes hidden behind a black and yellow mask.

And a ripped yellow coat at the man’s feet. 

This was a nightmare.


	26. Chapter 26

The trip back to the hotel was probably the most stressful trip Dan had ever taken. He kept a steady eye out the window looking for any suspicious cars or activity as they drove away from Jesse’s house.

He was still having a hard time convincing himself that what happened was real. 

Brian. An assassin. A real fucking assassin. There was so much wrong with that statement. Especially after he had just suggested to Dan that he sing with TWRP. He had just saved Alex’s singing career. He had given Dan the opportunity to squash the horrible rumors Steamin’ had been spreading all night.

Then he turned on them and let Steamin’ hire him to do his dirty work. 

God.

If he hadn’t seen that yellow coat ripped apart at Brian’s feet. . . 

Arin had latched himself to Dan’s arm the moment Dan entered the van and hadn’t let go. Dan gripped Arin’s hand, grateful for the friendly contact. 

Sam was the first person to speak. “Dan. Who was that?” 

Dan frowned. He didn’t want to freak out the team. “A member of Starbomb.” 

“He was more than that,” Ash said. “You were running from him. Arin is freaking out, and it’s not over the lady who looked like his wife. What the hell is going on?” 

Arin and Dan exchanged glances. Dan took a deep breath. 

“I may regret this, but. . .” He lowered his voice. “You guys know Starbomb, right?” 

Everyone nodded. 

“And that member of the band is. . .”

“Ninja Brian,” Kamal said. “Everyone knows that.” 

Dan closed his eyes a moment to contain himself. “In the Good Game series, Ninja Brian is. . . well, he’s an assassin.” 

Sam gasped. Ash blinked at Dan.

Kamal scoffed. “Yeah, right.” 

“I’m serious,” Dan said. “In the final episode of Good Game, he straight up kills Jesse. You know who I’m talking about.”

The van grew totally silent.

Kamal crossed his arms. “I think we’ve pretty much established that this isn’t a TV show.” 

“Didn’t you see Dan’s sports coat all ripped up at the guy’s feet when we drove off?” Arin said. He tightened his grip on Dan’s hand. “This is a fucking nightmare.” 

“So what do we do?” Lorenzo asked from the front seat.

Arin glanced at Dan.

Dan pressed his lips together. “I don’t know, guys.” 

Arin shut his eyes tight. 

\-----

An hour later, the team had finally made it back to their hotel. Dan insisted they park the van at a different hotel down the road and they cautiously walked to their own.

Dan jumped at every unusual shadow, but they managed to make it to their rooms without incident. He made everyone promise to stay in the rooms that night and he and Dan made their way to their room. Arin sat on his bed while Dan looked for a clean undershirt in his suitcase. What he really needed was a shower. God, the sweat was horrible. 

Arin was unusually silent while Dan rummaged through his stuff. The stress of the night must have gotten to him more than Dan predicted. 

He should never have let anyone go to that party.

He found an undershirt and sighed. Or. . . maybe it was a good thing. He did get some connections for Alex that he’d never be able to on his own.

But was the end result worth it? He didn’t know.

And what would happen if he and Arin managed to get home or switch back with Ryland and Alex? Would Brian be after them next? Or was there a way for him to tell the difference? God, this was such a fucking shithole. He had no idea what to do next.

“You’re a fucking moron,” Arin spat suddenly, staring at Dan.

Dan frowned at him, his introspection broken. “What?”

“I said you’re a _fucking moron,_ Dan,” Arin said again, true anger creeping into the edges of his voice. “Why the hell did you do that? Why did you go after Brian?” 

Dan narrowed his eyes. “Forgive me for trying to save my friends from an assassin.” 

“At the risk of your _own life?”_ Arin growled. “This isn’t a video game, Dan. You don’t just respawn after the enemy kills you. You could have died.”

“Any of us could have died tonight, if Brian really is who we think he is,” Dan said, turning back to the suitcase to find a pair of boxers. “At least I gave him an easy target and got him away from you.” 

_“That’s not the fucking point.”_

Dan looked up. Arin’s voice had just. . . broken with that last statement. The younger man stood in front of Dan, his face distorted with anger, his hands in fists and. . . and his cheeks stained with tears. 

Dan stood straight, frowning. “Arin--”

“Don’t you fucking get it?” Arin said. _“You. Could. Have. Died._ I could have lost you, damn it.” He took a step forward and drew Dan into a hug. “I can’t deal with this stupid world alone. I can’t do any of this without you. Think about that the next time you do something stupid, okay?” 

Dan hugged Arin back, trying to take in all that Arin told him. He breathed deeply. Everything screamed at him to tell Arin “no promises.” How could he stand idly by when Arin was in danger if he could do something to protect him? 

But he swallowed that response and pulled Arin tighter to him instead, reminding himself why he felt the need to protect his best friend in the first place. “I’ll do that, buddy.”


	27. Chapter 27

“You doing okay, buddy?” Alex asked Ryland.

They were back stage, just a few minutes before Vernon was set to go on stage and do the preshow bit with a member of the audience. Ryland was thankful that this wasn’t one of the huge theater shows that he had seen them doing on various YouTube videos. Instead it was in a small comedy club.

Though the show was still sold out. There was enough of a crowd to make both of them a bit nervous. 

Both Alex and Ryland were in their Starbomb outfits, which Vernon assured them would really get the crowd going, since Arin and Dan usually did the shows in their basic street clothes.

Suzy had come along with them. She had set up the magical guitar in one corner of the greenroom, and to everyone’s surprise, another string had somehow repaired itself. 

Just one left. Ryland had no idea what that meant. 

Alex sat on a stool, but Ryland couldn’t be still. He paced the room. Brian and Barry had given Ryland and Alex a few last-minute tips. 

_Smile as much as you can._

_Don’t forget to laugh._

_If someone encourages Ryland to do one of Arin’s voices, tell them your voice is sore and you can’t do it._

_Dan and Arin like to ask stupid questions of the volunteers. Think of some stupid questions to ask._

_Don’t forget the little opening script we put together, but don’t be afraid to improv it a little._

_Anytime a volunteer comes up on stage, Dan and Arin hug them. You should do the same._

Ryland wasn’t sure what to think about that last one. He wasn’t comfortable touching strangers. But he had volunteered for this… he had to do what he had to do.

Alex stood and slipped an arm across Ryland’s shoulders, stopping his pacing. “Ry. . .”

“I’m fine,” Ryland said, leaning into Alex’s hug. God, he needed that right now. “Just. . . I’m nervous. Can you blame me?” 

“I’m nervous too,” Alex said. He pressed a kiss to the side of Ryland’s head. “I bet Dan and Arin get nervous too. It’s natural. We’ll be fine.” 

Ryland closed his eyes and just took in the moment. Alex’s arm around him. The soft feeling of his lips. The gentle way he spoke. Everything they had been through in this stupid world was worth it for these moments with Alex. It still amazed him that he ever let Alex get this close to him.

Or that he had pushed him away for so long. 

Vernon entered the room with a clipboard. He grinned seeing them together. “You guys ready?” 

Reluctantly, Ryland pulled himself free of Alex’s grip. “I suppose so.” 

“This usually takes about ten minutes or so,” Vernon said. “Brian and Barry will be with you guys the whole time.” Vernon gave both of them heartfelt hugs. “You’ll do great.” 

Damn. For most of Ryland’s life he had had the hardest time making friends. Yet in these two short weeks they had been stuck here, he had made more friends than he could count. How the hell had that happened?

“Thanks, Vernon,” Alex said, smiling. There was a. . . bittersweet twinge to his tone. Both of them still felt like this was likely the last time they’d be with these new friends they had made. The fact that the guitar was still fixing itself was proof enough of that. 

Ryland would miss them all.

Vernon flashed them one more grin before heading out on stage and calling for volunteers. The crowd erupted into cheers at Vernon’s appearance. 

Ryland breathed in deeply and let the breath out through his mouth. He shut his eyes and shook himself. 

_I am Arin Hanson. I am one half of the Game Grumps. I’m funny, crazy, and selfless. I have tons of fans who love me. I. . . I suck at video games, but the fans love that. I believe in people. I care about people. People care about me. I’m. . . I’m loved. . . I’m. . . I’m. . . ._

God damnit. He’d never be Arin.

Alex slipped a hand into Ryland’s, lacing their fingers together. He leaned his head against the side of Ryland’s.

“I’m here for you, Ry.” 

Ryland breathed deeply again, clutching to Alex’s hand.

 _I . . . I am Ryland Tate. I am Boogerboss. I have a growing career in MOBA tournaments. I have a team – no, friends – no, family, who care about me. I have a man. . . a partner. . . who loves me just as I am. I have a story to tell and a reason to tell it. I. . ._ he tightened his grip on Alex’s hand. _I have a reason to keep going._

“Alright guys!” Vernon shouted into the crowd. “Are we ready for the Game Grumps?” 

The crowd exploded in cheers. 

Ryland knew he’d have to let go of Alex’s hand soon, but he clutched it for as long as he was able.

“I’m gonna need your help calling them out, but I don’t think anyone will have trouble with this. Are you ready?” 

More cheers. Ryland’s heart skipped a beat. 

Brian came up behind them this time, gripping both their shoulders. “You’ll do great, guys. I have faith in you.” 

Ryland gave Alex’s hand one final squeeze before letting go. 

“Sing with me now!” Vernon shouted. “HEY I’M GRUMP--”

“--I’M NOT SO GRUMP!” The crowd shouted back. 

Vernon led the final line. “AND WE’RE THE GAME GRUMPS!” 

This was it. No turning back. Alex squeezed Ryland’s shoulder, reminded him to smile, and they headed out of the door toward the stage. 

God, there were so many people. Ryland nearly froze up. He wanted to turn right around and hide in a corner. 

But Alex practically dragged him on stage amid a sea of screaming, smiling faces. He grabbed the nearest microphone.

“What’s up, bitches!” 

The audience roared cheers back at him.

“Who’s ready for games!?” Alex continued. More screaming.

Ryland bit the bullet. He snatched up one of the other mics, put on his best Arin Hanson impression, and shouted the first thing that came to mind. “Who’s ready for a barrage of dick jokes!?” God, that felt stupid to say.

But it got the crowd going. 

Alex dove into the scripted part Brian had laid out for them. He wagged his hips around. “Who’s ready for partial nudity!?” 

The room exploded with wolf whistles and cat calls. 

Ryland dove into the back of his mind to recall the little script they had. He dramatically dropped his hand on his hip and imitated Arin’s face from the ridiculous Crunchy Roll commercials he had done.   
“Daaaaan, you know we can’t do that,” he said, emphasizing each word. “Not after last time.”

Alex gave Ryland an exaggerated pouty face. “Awwww.” 

“So this is how it’s gonna go down, guys,” Ryland said, letting the practice he had done all week take over. “Anyone who’s been to a Live show before knows that we usually do a Mario Party. But we’re trying something different this time.” 

Barry and Brian came out from the back room to a wave of cheering. Brian dropped the flipping scorecard on a table on stage. 

“This time, you guys are gonna play all the games,” Alex said. “And Brian and Barry will award points based on how well you do.” 

“Or on whatever we want,” Barry said. He glanced over Alex and Ryland. “Dan, your hair is too poofy.” He flipped a card on the left side of the board. “One point for Arin.” 

Alex’s jaw dropped. Ryland grinned and the audience howled with laughter.

“But!” Ryland turned his grin to the audience. “We’ve got all kinds of fun games today.” He turned to the side of the stage. “Right Vernon?” 

“Um. . .” Vernon said sheepishly. “About that. . .”

Alex frowned. “Vernon, did you fuck something up?” 

“Well. . .” Vernon mumbled. “I thought I had grabbed the box of games that said ‘Oxnard Live Show’ but it turns out Brian taped that over the real label which read ‘Never Again for the Love of God.’”

Ryland ran a hand down his face in an exaggerated display of exasperation. “You brought all the Sonic games.” 

The laughter from the crowd was so loud it practically drowned everything else out. 

Ryland liked Sonic games, personally, or at least the ones they had picked out for today. Brian suggested using all Sonic because it would seriously get the crowd going. Ryland secretly thought the he was messing with Arin because this would be a show talked about for a long time after.

Vernon shrugged. “Sorry. . .?” 

“Ughhh,” Ryland said. “Fine, whatever.” He turned back to the crowd, swallowing his nervousness and drawing on his friends’ energy. “Okay, so we’re going to split the crowd down the middle.”

Brian stood in the center of the stage, giving everyone his best Ninja Glare as he ran a hand between the crowd. “Decide your loyalties now. It’s brother against brother and father against child.” \

Ryland rolled his eyes. He pointed to his side of the crowd. “We. . . are Team Grump.” 

The crowd roared.

“And we’re Team Not-So-Grump,” Alex said, waving triumphantly to his side. More cheering. 

“Barry will pick team members for Team Grump and Brain will pick for Team Not-So-Grump,” Ryland continued. He turned to Vernon. “Are we ready?” 

Vernon got the first Sonic game up – Sonic Mania – and he gave Ryland a thumbs up. 

Now came a hard part. Ryland forced himself to keep smiling as Barry and Brian scoured the audience for their first volunteers. He kept his eyes trained on Alex.

Alex looked completely over the moon. His grin was among the most authentic Ryland had seen in weeks. He smiled back at Ryland, flashing a thumbs up. 

It suddenly became easier for Ryland to smile. 

Soon Barry brought up Team Grump’s first volunteer, a young woman with a unicorn hat similar to the one Alex wore during their stream. . . and an eSports People T-shirt. 

Good god, they actually had merch for their stupid eSports team. 

She smiled shyly at Ryland, and two pieces of Brian and Barry’s advice ran through his head. 

Dan and Arin hug the volunteers. You should do the same. 

Damn, he hated being touched. 

What would Arin do? 

He would. . . he would treat this woman as if she was the only person in the room. Give her his full attention. Smile. Hug her. 

Just. . . be a friend. 

He let Arin’s personality invade him a little and offered her a smile and a hug. She hugged him back, obviously giddy.

Piece of advice number two. Ask a weird question. He waited for Alex’s volunteer to come up, then took a deep breath. Still trying to channel Arin, Ryland draped an arm over his volunteer’s shoulders. “Thanks for coming up. First of all, what’s your name?” 

“Katie,” the girl said, blushing.

“Okay Katie,” Ryland said. He pointed to her shirt and hat. “You’re obviously a fan of--” shit, what was the show Arin and Dan ran again? “--our show. So tell me. . .” He pointed to Alex. “Who’s more awesome – Alex or Ryland?” 

Alex’s jaw dropped and the crowd laughed.

Katie gave Ryland a sly smile. “Alex and Ryland are equally awesome,” she said. “But they’re more awesome when they’re _together.”_

Her emphasis on the word “together” made her meaning extremely clear. 

Ryland blushed hard. Shit, he had to get a. . . a Rylex shipper. 

Alex burst out laughing. He turned to his volunteer, another young woman. “And what are your thoughts on the question?” he asked grinning.

She gave Katie a thumbs up. “Totally agree.”

“Oh my _god,”_ Ryland said, hiding his face in his hand. 

“You asked it!” Alex said. He crossed the room and slung an arm around Ryland’s shoulders, but thankfully didn’t actually kiss him. 

Well. Kind of thankfully. 

Awkward moment over, Brian had the pair of volunteers shake hands and dive into the game.

Alex squeezed Ryland’s shoulder as they watched the pair duke it out in Green Hill Zone. 

So far, so good. The game part would be easier than he thought.

It was the singing section that had him on edge.

Good god, hopefully they’d get through it.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I’ve been listening to Under the Covers 2 like, nonstop since I got the CD… Especially “In Your Eyes” which is one of my all time favorite songs. And it’s such a soft, gorgeous song… so it kind of influenced this to be a super positive and happy chapter. <3 Hope you guys like it. One more Ryland and Alex chapter before we get back to the Grumps.

Alex couldn’t remember the last time he was filled with such joy. 

Well. He could. When he finally got to kiss Ryland for the first time. But that was a different kind of joy than the joy he felt at that moment.

Literally everything was going wonderfully. They had gotten through five Sonic games and ten volunteers and somehow hadn’t managed to mess anything up. The crowd got so into every little thing that it was hard not to get swept away in the emotions. 

Were all live shows like this? Did Dan and Arin feel this way leading them? God, Alex could practically get drunk off this. It was a way better high than anything weed had ever done for him.

Ryland managed to get into a smooth rhythm with the whole thing after the Rylex shipping fiasco. Totally the wrong question to ask, though Alex found it hilarious. He’d have a good laugh with Ryland about it later. 

Neither of their performances were perfect. Alex had almost called Ryland by his real name twice and Ryland froze up a couple of times, but they managed to cover for each other. Having Barry and Brian there really helped things. 

But now they were nearing the end of the game portion of the show. . . and soon they’d be doing the singing portion. Alex’s stomach roiled with both anticipation and. . . fear. 

This could be amazing. . . or it could be downright horrific. 

The final pair of volunteers walked off the stage amid smiles and laughter. Somehow throughout the course of the gameplay and ridiculousness, Alex and Ryland were tied for points. Team Grump had won the majority of the games, but Brian kept finding “reasons” to take points away from them and add points to Team Not-So-Grump. 

Ryland glanced at the scorecard, a huge grin on his face, fully given in to the Arin persona. “Damn, Dan, we’re tied. How the fuck did that happen?”

“Blame Brian!” Alex said with a laugh that was a little too fast and loud. God, was he that nervous? 

Ryland’s features softened for a brief moment. He had picked up on Alex’s nervousness, Alex was sure. He stood forward, commanding the crowd. 

“I know our shows normally got a bit longer than this,” he started. A wave of disappointed “awws” splashed over the crowd. “But like Vernon said at the beginning of this show. . . we’re experimenting.” 

He turned to Alex, who was supposed to continue the intro, but Alex just froze. Shit. Shit, shit, _shit,_ this was really it. They were supposed to start singing soon. And his mind just. . . stopped. 

_Shit._ He wasn’t sure he could do this.

Ryland obviously picked up on the issue this time and he crossed the stage to Alex. He slung an arm over Alex’s shoulder, gripping him tight. “You’re probably all wondering why we’re wearing our Starbomb costumes.” 

A hushed interest fell over the crowd. 

Ryland continued, a grin on his face. “We’re going to end the evening with a bit of music.” 

The crowd gasped collectively and explosive clapping echoed off the walls. 

This was it. They expected Dan. They expected his. . . perfection. 

Oh, god. Ohhhhh, god, he couldn’t do this.

Ryland glanced quickly at Alex, a flash of a frown crossing his features. He gripped Alex’s shoulder, then turned back to the crowd. “Give us a minute to set the stage, and prepare for a fantastic end to the evening!” Ryland said, then he pulled Alex toward the greenroom among claps. Barry and Brian exchanged glances and followed. 

This wasn’t in the script. They were supposed to dive right in it. What was Ryland doing?

The moment they entered the greenroom and shut the door, Ryland faced Alex, clutching both of his arms. “Alex--”

“I can’t do it, Ry,” Alex said, shaking. “I’m not Dan. I’m not good enough. I can’t sing.” 

Ryland frowned. “After all we’ve done to get you here, Alex.” 

“But I’m not _good enough,”_ Alex said, fighting the pressure behind his eyes. “I can’t. . . I’m not. . .” 

“Stop that,” Ryland said. He cupped Alex’s chin with both hands. “You’re amazing. You’re a fantastic singer. You’re going to get out there and do wonderfully.”

Alex met Ryland’s eyes. “Ry. . .” 

Ryland reached forward and pressed a kiss to Alex’s lips, the first truly passion-driven kiss Ryland had initiated. It was quick, but soft and it gave Alex something to focus on. He closed his eyes, taking in the moment. 

When Ryland pulled away, he smiled up at Alex. “I believe in you.” 

Alex blinked slowly. He took a deep breath. 

“Alex,” Brian said. Alex looked up and Brian smiled at him. “I wouldn’t let you do this if I didn’t think you could. You’re going to be fantastic up there. Just trust yourself. Okay?” 

Alex shook himself. He glanced back at Ryland, who widened his smile encouragingly. 

Alex smile back. “Alright. Let’s do this.” 

Ryland gave Alex a tight hug and together they left the greenroom.

This was it. This was Alex had spent the last two weeks prepping for.

No. It’s what he had spent his whole life prepping for. 

The crowd roared when Ryland and Alex reappeared. Ryland pointed to the crowd, bringing his mic close to his face. “Are you guys ready for this?” 

Affirming cheers. 

“Let’s do this!” And the music for Hero of Rhyme started up. 

Alex took a deep breath. At least they started with a song they both knew really well. 

And a song Ryland did most of the work on.

“Ah, yeah,” Ryland started, then dove into the rap. 

Alex had to fight himself from staring in awe at the man. He knew Ryland could rap. He knew this was one of his best songs and probably his favorite Starbomb song ever. But god, the way he just commanded the stage. . . 

Brian’s voice wafted through his head, thinking back to the day they had decided to do this. 

_Arin is an unstoppable ball of crazy emotions, constant grinning, and bottomless love. He’s a voice actor with a character for any situation and an optimist with at least the level of energy Alex has, if not more. He completely commands a crowd when he’s on stage, whether he’s doing improv or rapping._

Ryland was so many of these things. The emotional roller coaster from the last few days. The constant grinning on this show. He hadn’t done any voice acting stuff, but when Alex needed him, he was the one with the necessary energy and optimism. He completely commanded the crowd now, and had been all night.

And he had shown nothing but bottomless love for Alex. 

But he wasn’t Arin. He was Ryland. He was the Ryland that Alex had always wanted him to be.

Happy. 

In the midst of his awe of Ryland, he nearly missed his cue for the first line of the song, but thankfully managed to hit it in time. Ryland turned to Alex, still grinning, and practically dragged Alex into the moment with his gaze. By the time he hit the first chorus, both he and Alex were completely lost in the music. 

The crowd roared on, some even trying to match Ryland’s lyrics, though Ryland blew the whole thing away with his rapping. Alex didn’t know he had it in him. 

As the song went on, the sounds and sights of the crowd faded from Alex’s conscious mind. All he heard was Ryland’s amazing voice mixing with his own. All he saw was Ryland’s brilliant grin. 

All he knew was that, for this moment, everything was right with the world. 

He was so high on the feeling that he hardly noticed when they moved on to The Simple Plot of Metal Gear Solid. The moment only broke when they finished the song and the crowd’s applause shattered the miniature perfect world he had mentally created. He was somewhat aware of Ryland taking a bow and promising one more surprise to the audience. 

He gained full consciousness when Ryland gripped his hand and gently tugged him off stage back to the greenroom. 

When the door shut, Alex blinked, glancing at Ryland.

Ryland’s grin hadn’t faded. He ran a hand through his hair, little nervous chuckles escaping him. 

“. . .I did it.” He turned to Alex, the grin covering his whole face, radiating brilliantly. His eyes glistened. “Alex, I fucking _did it._ Did you see that? Can you fucking believe it?” He laughed again. “How the hell did I do that?”

Alex just melted seeing Ryland so happy. It was almost overwhelming. He took two steps forward, cupped Ryland’s chin with his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Because you’re amazing.” 

_“We’re_ amazing,” Ryland said. He leaned his face on Alex’s shoulder, still shaking, a mix of adrenaline and nerves, though everything happy. He slipped an arm around Alex. “I can’t even believe this.” 

“Have your revelation later, because Alex needs to change,” Brian said, though he was smiling. 

“Shit!” Alex pulled away. “I gotta get my guitar and the Sexbang outfit and--” He paused, fiddling with his hand. “Can I really do this?”

Ryland pressed a finger to Alex’s lips, still smiling. “You can do anything. Go for it.” 

Alex smiled at him. “Thanks, Ry.” He turned and dashed for the dressing room.

This was it.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling pretty awful today, so I drowned my sorrows in a Switched chapter. =P 
> 
> Despite the end of this chapter. . . we've still got a little ways to go. ;) Enjoy, guys.

Ryland couldn’t stop staring at Alex. 

The singer was dressed in one of the Sexbang costumes, a light blue, sparkling jumpsuit with bellbottoms, wide flaring sleeves, and his famed star of David in the center. Ryland had never seen Alex in the costume before, but this one looked exactly like the suit that had been long buried in the backroom of their apartment. 

Something about it just fit him perfectly. It was like Ryland was seeing him for the first time. The true Alex. Like he was meant to be. 

Alex’s face was flushed. “It’s. . . been a long time.” 

Ryland didn’t even have words. He just grinned. 

Alex smiled back. “Thanks for convincing me to do this.” 

“Always,” Ryland said. “You’re going to kill it.” 

Brian walked toward him, wearing his own ninja outfit. He held Dan’s guitar out to Alex. “Ready?” 

Alex took a deep breath, nodded, and took the guitar from Brian. 

Ryland gave his hand a quick squeeze. “I’ll be here the whole time.”

Alex pressed a kiss to Ryland’s forehead. “Thank you.” 

Then Brian led them both out amid screams and cheers. Ryland snuck around the stage and hid himself away from the audience in the shadows. 

Brian took his place in front of his keyboard and Alex sat on a tall stool, grinning at the audience. 

“Thought I’d try an experiment tonight,” Alex said, once the audience calmed down a bit. “I’ve mentioned that I play bass in the past, though admittedly not as well as I’d like.” 

Ryland nodded. Apparently Dan owned several, though he had said on episodes that he hadn’t kept up the skill.

Admittedly, Ryland wondered how Alex had managed to keep up the guitar skills. He had never heard him play before. He shook his head. So many things he didn’t know about his friend and. . . and partner. 

He’d change that now. 

Alex strummed a chord on the guitar. “But I’ve been working on a new skill. I thought I’d share it with you guys today. Admittedly, I’m not at the level of the Super Guitar Brothers, but hopefully this is acceptable.” He flashed another grin, and nodded to Brian.

Then he started in on the guitar.

A hush fell over the crowd. Ryland shut his eyes, taking in the moment. 

The piano entered soon and Ryland found himself tapping his foot in time with the music. It was like being transported to another world. 

His heart practically stopped when Alex started singing. 

_So. . . so you think you can tell. . .  
Heaven from hell? _

The words were just. . . magic. Ryland opened his eyes. 

And once again, he couldn’t stop staring.

Alex just looked. . . right. The skilled hands strumming over the strings, the soft voice melting into the music, the glitter of his suit catching the stage lights. . . 

And every eye in the room starting, unblinking, in awe. A few patrons even wiped tears away. 

Alex had been so worried about this moment, but he just. . . fit. He didn’t falter. He didn’t stumble. He just. . . moved like he belonged.

Ryland’s chest swelled with pride and a smile emerged on his lips that he couldn’t fight back. Alex deserved this. He needed it.  
He belonged on the stage.  
Alex and Brian finished the song and the audience cheered, making Alex grin. He stood and took a short bow. 

Ryland moved to the stage and took the guitar from Alex. He grinned at him and patted his shoulder, hoping the gesture showed even a fraction of how proud he was of Alex for how far he had gone.

As Ryland left the stage, their second song started up. Take On Me, by A-Ha.

Alex was already rocking his hips as Brian started in on the keyboard section. The whole crowd clapped in time with the song.

The range on this song was all over the place and Ryland had expressed worries that Alex could hit all the right notes.

Obviously his worry was pointless. Alex threw himself into the song, rocking along with the music, hitting every note perfectly, getting the crowd going and just killing it like Ryland knew he would.   
How was Alex ever worried? 

By the time Alex finished the song, a majority of the audience were standing and singing along. 

This was beyond amazing.

Alex raised his hands above his head when he finished the song, and the audience mimicked him, cheering.

“Thank you everyone!” Alex cried, though his voice was raw and hoarse. Ryland suspected part of that was from singing, but part of it was the emotion getting to him. 

Brian pulled his mask off. “I think we have a few minutes left for a Q&A, so we’ll clean up and be right back out.” The audience cheered Alex and Brian off the stage. Ryland followed them to the greenroom.

Alex stood in the middle of the room, a huge grin on his face, his breath slightly ragged, his eyes glistening.

Ryland couldn’t help but smile as he crossed the room to Alex. Alex slowly wrapped Ryland in his arms, trying to speak and only squeaking instead. 

Ryland held him tight, stroking his back. “You did it, Alex,” he said softly.

Alex buried his face in Ryland’s shoulder, shaking, holding him tighter. 

Ryland kissed the side of Alex’s head. “You doing okay, dude?” 

Alex breathed deeply several times, trying to even his breathing. “. . .I feel whole again, Ry.” 

Ryland blinked. “What do you mean?” 

“Everything. . .” Alex breathed. “I just. . .” He held Ryland’s head, stroking his hair. “Everything is right. No more. . . no more alcohol or weed. I. . . I sang. In front of a crowd. And they liked it. And. . .” He pulled his head back and looked Ryland in the eye, little tear tracks running down his cheeks, a wide grin lighting up his whole face. He caressed Ryland’s face softly. “. . .I have you.” 

Ryland smiled back and reached forward for a kiss.

But a loud _twang_ made both of them jump apart. Ryland turned.

The green guitar’s final string had fixed itself. It glowed slightly, little white motes of light flittering off it almost like snow. 

Ryland blinked at the guitar. A million thoughts ran through his mind at once, blurring everything, making it impossible to grasp a single idea.

But Alex vocalized his thoughts anyway. His fears.

“It’s fixed.”

Brian stepped forward, frowning. He glanced from the guitar to Alex and Ryland. “I think. . . you could go home.” 

Alex clutched Ryland’s hand. Both of them stared at the guitar.

Ryland wasn’t sure he wanted to go home.

“Ryland?” 

Ryland turned to see Suzy standing next to Barry. People who had become his friends. 

But also people who were waiting for their friends. . . and in Suzy’s case, her husband. . . to come home. 

Suzy’s gaze fell on the guitar and she frowned. “It’s fixed.” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “We. . . can go home.” 

Suzy met Ryland’s eyes. “Are you going to?” 

He couldn’t even believe she was asking that question. She knew the consequences of him staying here. If he stayed, how could Arin come home? How could she see her husband again?   
But perhaps she understood what being here meant to Alex and Ryland. What it had done for them.

Ryland took a deep breath and released Alex’s hand. Selfishly staying here would be a poor way to repay them for all they had done for them. He faced Suzy. 

“I want you to have Arin back,” he said. 

“And Dan,” Alex said. “They belong here.”

Suzy crossed the room and hugged Ryland. “That doesn’t mean you don’t.” 

Ryland froze momentarily, but then relaxed and hugged Suzy. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He broke the hug and smiled at her. “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t go home.” 

Alex glanced around at the Grumps surrounding them, with a smile. “Thank you so much for everything you did for us. We’ll never forget it.” 

Brian smiled and nodded. “Take care of yourselves.” 

Alex released a long breath, then held his hand out to Ryland again.

Ryland took it and they faced the guitar. With their joined hands, they touched the glowing guitar and a bright light overcame them both.


	30. Chapter 30

Dan paced in front of the lockers in the small room he and the rest of Esports People were holed up in. 

The decision to even leave their hotel and come to the tournament had not been made lightly. But in the end, Dan and Arin both decided that being at the stadium, among lots of people -- lots of witnesses -- was probably safer than staying in the hotel. Everyone bought an extra change of clothes, in case Dan’s decoy jacket ploy might work again.

They made sure to make their arrival loud and showy. Everyone knew they were there. Attempting anything would be suspicious and difficult. 

Dan still had a hard time convincing himself that the events of the previous night were real. Brian, an assassin? It boggled the mind. Maybe he had made it all up. Maybe someone had convinced him to drink some coke laced thing and he forgot and made up the whole thing while high. 

But Steamin’ had been waiting for them in the lobby. He glared daggers at them as they walked past. 

“Hey _‘Alex’,”_ he snarled, emphasizing the fake name. “You left something at the party last night.” 

He passed Dan his ruined yellow Esports People jacket. 

Dan took it without a word and immediately trashed it when they got to the locker room.

Holy fucking hell. This was real. They were in serious danger. 

“What happens if you two go home and Alex and Ryland come back?” Sam asked, huddled on one of the benches. She wore her Esports People uniform, as did the rest of the team, though it was crumpled and wrinkly like it had spent the night on the floor instead of hung up. No one looked like they had slept well last night. Sam met Dan’s eyes. “Is that assassin going to be after them if that happens?” 

Dan gritted his teeth, forming a fist. “I don’t know.” 

Arin leaned against the lockers. “What do we do?” 

“I don’t fucking know,” Dan said. “I just. . . I don’t know.” 

“We win Blood Match and become too famous to kill off,” Kamal said, crossing his arms. 

“But can we even do that?” Arin asked. “I don’t. . . I’m not good enough.”

“That’s why we have a team, Arin,” Ash said, gripping his shoulder.

“But the team is only as strong as its weakest player,” Arin said. “And that’s me.” 

“Well. . .” Lorenzo muttered.

“Fuck that,” Kamal said. “You’re way better now.” 

Lorenzo beamed.

“Still,” Arin said. “I don’t think that--”

A bright light filled the room and cut Arin’s words off. Dan held his arms up to shield his eyes, though the light lasted only a few seconds before fading. 

When it disappeared, two more people were in the room with them. One wore Arin’s famous pink Starbomb outfit and the other wore one of Dan’s Sexbang costumes. The pair held hands, looking around the room, bewildered. Dan stared wide-eyed.

Ash drew her hands to her face. “Oh my god. . .”

Sam let out a little gasp. “Alex. . .?” 

Ash took a step forward. “Ryland. . .?”

Ryland was the first to break out of the bewilderment. He shook his head and looked around before meeting Ash’s eyes. He smiled.

He actually fucking smiled. Dan was at a loss for words. Arin moved to stand near Dan, shock covering his features. God, seeing a pair of people that were literal copies of them. . . Though they weren’t.   
Not really. Even the way they held themselves were different. 

But god, it was unnerving.

Ryland’s smile grew to a grin. “Hey, Ash.” 

Ash squeaked and grinned before rushing forward and throwing her arms around Ryland. To Dan’s surprise, he hugged her back with the same vigor she showed. 

Sam grew an equally large grin and, mildly blushing, she hugged Alex, who hugged her back, smiling. She laughed. “Welcome home!”

Lorenzo squeed and threw himself in the midst the group, hugging them both. “You’re back!” Even Kamal was doing a little dance in the corner of the room. 

“It’s so good to be home,” Alex said grinning, throwing an arm around Lorenzo’s shoulders. “Did you guys miss us?” 

“You have no idea,” Kamal said, grinning.

“What the fuck are you two wearing?” Ash asked. She blinked at Ryland’s pink outfit. “Is. . . that a Starbomb outfit?” 

“And this is a Sexbang costume!” Sam said, giggling.

Alex blinked. “How do you know the name Sexbang?” 

Dan brought a hand to his mouth and coughed. 

Everyone looked at Dan and Arin. 

Dan grinned giddily, all the worries about Blood Match and Brian blown from his mind. “Were you guys _performing?”_

Alex and Ryland grew a sudden interest in the floor, both of their faces flushing. “. . .Maybe,” Alex muttered. 

Arin laughed. “Dude, that is fucking awesome! How’d you do?” He winked and crossed his arms. “Probably fooled them all, didn’t you?” 

“Shut up,” Ryland said, but he smiled sheepishly. “We. . . we did okay, I guess.” 

“Dude, we fucking ruled,” Alex said, draping an arm over Ryland’s shoulders. 

Dan laughed now. “I couldn’t be happier for you guys.” He turned to Alex. “It’s addictive isn’t it?” 

Alex rubbed the back of his head. “Not sure if that’s the term I’d use, but yeah, I know what you mean.” 

Dan smiled softly. “If you’re serious about getting back into music, I put together some video voice lessons for you, on a flashdrive at the apartment. As well as some other stuff to get you started.” 

Alex’s eyes lit up. “Seriously?” 

Dan grinned. “Seriously. Oh, and TWRP wants you to audition with them. They’re looking for singers. I’ve got all their info for you back home.” 

Alex’s jaw dropped. “How. . .what. . .?” 

Ryland smirked. “Just say thank you.” Alex squeaked out a thank you. Ryland met Arin’s eyes. “You have a wonderful family back home. You know that, right?” 

Arin smiled and nodded. “I do. But,” he waved a hand at the other people in the room. “You have a family here who loves you too. Don’t forget that.” 

Ryland met the eyes of his friends and teammates, all grinning and giddy, and he smiled. “I won’t. Not anymore.” Alex giggled and wrapped his arms around Ryland’s shoulders. 

Kamal glanced at his watch. “Dude, the match against Lucid starts in like, two minutes! You guys gotta change! You can’t play Killcore in those things!”

Ryland’s eyes grew wide. “We’re facing off against _Lucid?”_

“Semi-finals!” Kamal said. “Arin kicked ass in your place!” 

Arin rolled his eyes, but he was already removing Boogerboss’s jacket. “I fucking suck and you know it. It was pure luck that got us to the semi-finals.” 

“You keep telling yourself that, Arin,” Kamal said.

Dan slipped his sports coat off and reached for the bag with his change of clothes. He smirked at Alex. “You can keep the Sexbang outfit if I can have your kissy print shirt.” 

Alex beamed. “Deal.” 

Twenty-five minutes later (after Kamal made an embarrassing excuse about Ryland’s bathroom habits to give them extra time) the team was all decked out and ready to hit the stage. Ash gave Ryland one more big grin, before herding the rest of the team toward the stage. 

Dan and Arin had changed into normal street clothes now, both of them gifting Alex and Ryland the stage costumes they had arrived in. Dan smiled. “You guys look great. You’ll be amazing.”

Alex gripped Ryland’s hand. “Thanks.”

Arin eyed their handhold. “So I’m gonna be blunt here. . . Are you two a couple now, or what?” 

Alex and Ryland both blushed furiously. Alex tried to pull his hand away, but Ryland just gripped it tighter and moved closer to him. 

“Yes,” Ryland said. “We are.” Alex blushed brighter, but he smiled at Ryland with love in his eyes.

Dan grinned. “As it should be.” 

“Guess that means some changes for season two of Good Game,” Arin said, smirking at Dan. 

Ryland lifted a brow, frowning. “How the hell are you going to do that? Arin is married and you’re. . . not romantically involved.” 

“Despite the shippers,” Alex said with a grin.

Arin rolled his eyes. “Someone seriously told you about the shippers?” 

“Blame Barry,” Ryland said. “Still.” 

Dan waved a hand. “What, you think that just because we’re not romantically involved that I can’t kiss Arin?” He leaned toward Arin and planted a quick kiss on his forehead. “Easy.” 

Arin turned red as a beet and smacked Dan’s arm. “You fucking moron.” Dan just laughed. 

Alex smirked and pressed a kiss to the side of Ryland’s head. “I do it better.” 

Dan smirked. “Again. As it should be.” 

“Guys, we’re going to be late!” Ash said, sticking her head back in the room. “Eh. . .er. Late-er. Come on!” She grabbed Alex’s hand and dragged them out toward the stage. 

Dan and Arin followed them into the hall and watched them run off. Alex waved back at them before following Ash.

Dan smiled. “That was pretty much perfect timing.” 

“Tell me about it,” Arin said. He took a deep breath. “Hey Dan.” 

Dan met his eyes. “What?”

“If Alex and Ryland are home. . . how come we’re still here?” 

Dan pressed his lips together. “I don’t know.”

Someone behind them cleared their throat. 

Someone familiar.

A spark ran up Dan’s spine and he turned. 

And faced Ninja Brian in all black, with nothing but small slits for his terrifying eyes. 

And a long knife in his hand.

“Arin and Dan. . .” 

Arin gripped Dan’s hand. _“Run.”_

They turned and dashed down the corridor into a far hall. Away from the crowd. Away from Alex and Ryland. 

As far away from the Blood Match stage as their legs could carry them.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to see what happened next, so I decided to write a new chapter for you all. XD Enjoy the bonus chapter. I'm thinking there's three, maybe four more chapters before the story's finished. Enjoy, guys!

Ryland followed Alex to the stage, still gripping his hand. 

Holy hell. This place was fucking massive. _God._ And they were going to face Lucid here? 

Shit. 

Ash directed Ryland to his seat. Ryland took a deep breath as he sat down, listening to the cheers of the crowd. 

Like the cheers at the Game Grumps live event.

He should be nervous. This was his chance to crush Steamin’. To finally get back at him for everything he had ever done to him and his team. . . his family. 

But. . . he wasn’t. Why should he be? In the grand scheme of things, what did this match even mean? He didn’t need to win to know he was worth something. Not anymore. His. . . his family showed him that. The friends he made out of the Grumps showed him that. Hell, even Dan and Arin showed him that.

Alex showed him that. 

He didn’t need to “prove” his worth. He already knew it. 

Alex gripped Ryland’s shoulder, giggling giddily. He pointed to the crowd. “Guys, look, we have fans!”

Sure enough, a small section of the crowd held a handful of handmade signs with Esports People written all over them. Ryland stared in awe. God. Was this how Game Grumps started out? A small, but loyal fanbase? His chest swelled.

Ash waved at them. “Hey, fans! We love you!” 

Lorenzo pointed now. “Hey! That guy’s dressed like me!” 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “No, that’s just another old guy.” Though he was smirking.

“No, no, he’s right!” Sam said. “Oh, and that woman’s dressed like Lorenzo too!” 

Ash beat her desk, beaming. “Oh, shit, you guys, we’re doing this! We’re playing Lucid Nightmare!” Alex gripped her shoulder with his free hand, a smile on his face.

The speakers burst forth with the Blood Match intro music and everyone on the team turned toward the other side of the stage. 

Alex’s smile faded slightly. He tightened his grip on Ryland’s shoulder.

Ryland reached a hand up and clutched Alex’s hand encouragingly. 

The announcer blared across the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen. . . give it up. . . for LUCID NIGHTMARE.” 

Steamin’ led his team down the stairs, waving his hands, calling for the crowd to pump up their cheering. He aimed a pair of finger guns at Alex and Ryland, trying to look smug. 

Alex sneered at him. He rubbed Ryland’s shoulder. “He can’t touch us.”

“Not anymore,” Ryland agreed, sneering too, still holding Alex’s hand. He almost hoped Steamin’ noticed their mild intimacy. It’d be a slap in his face. They had each other. There was no reason to ever care what he thought or did again. 

Steamin’ blinked, looking mildly confused, before a strange dawning comprehension filled his features. 

Then his grin turned positively venomous. 

Ryland felt Alex shiver. He frowned. “What the hell was that?” 

Ash’s breath hitched. “He knows who you are.” 

“Of course he knows who we are,” Ryland said. 

“No,” Ash said. “I mean, he knows you’re Alex and Ryland. He knows you’re not Dan and Arin.” 

Ryland’s eyes grew wide. “How’d he find out about Dan and Arin?” 

“Long story,” Ash said. 

“Ash,” Sam said, her voice shaking. “Ninja Brian.” 

“I know,” Ash said darkly.

Alex frowned. “What about Brian?” 

Ash shook her head. “It’s. . . it’s not a big deal. Focus on the game.” 

“But Ash--” Lorenzo started.

“They’re still holed up in the locker room and Steamin’s out here focusing,” Ash said. “He can’t say anything. They’ll be fine.” 

Ryland exchanged a glance with Alex. 

Ash took a deep breath and pulled her headphones on. “. . .I hope.” 

\-----

Arin had never run so fast in his whole life. 

Fucking Christ, how did it come to this? How did they find themselves running from a crazy assassin through some dark hallway that they knew nothing about? What the fuck were they doing?   
They had managed to put some distance between themselves and Brian in the maze of corridors, but they kept hearing his distant calls of their names.

Their names. Dan and Arin. Not Alex and Ryland. 

At least a couple things were certain. Brian knew the difference. Steamin’ had ordered the hit on Dan and Arin, not Alex and Ryland. They were safe. 

If Arin could find a way to get him and Dan to safety, Alex and Ryland would never have to face this.

But how could he do it? 

The further they went into the corridors, the darker it got. Arin suspected they were in the maintenance tunnels, and if the pounding above their heads was any indication, they were likely under the stage.

Dan huffed next to Arin. Arin knew he was running out of steam. They’d both collapse soon if they didn’t find a place to hide.

Suddenly Dan grabbed Arin’s hand and pulled him to the left. A small alcove off to the side, almost invisible in the dark. They pressed their bodies against the wall, out of view of the corridor, desperate to keep their breathing under control.

Dan wouldn’t let go of Arin’s hand.

The sound of running footsteps echoed down the corridor, and both Arin and Dan held their breaths. But the sound faded. Their would-be assassin had missed them and kept running.

Arin slowly and quietly let out a shaking breath. He released Dan’s hand and managed to smile at him. 

Dan didn’t get a chance to smile back. 

A gloved hand reached into the alcove, gripped Arin’s shirt, and yanked him out of his hiding place. 

“Arin!” Dan reached for him, but too late.

Brian whirled Arin around and slammed him against the opposite wall, digging his arm under Arin’s chin. Dan ran out into the open, but before he got near Arin, Brian pulled his knife out and pressed the tip against Arin’s side. 

“Make one more step and he dies,” Brian said, glaring at Dan.

Tears of shock ran down Dan’s face. “O-oh, god, oh god, please. . . please don’t hurt him. . .”

But Brian ignored Dan and turned back to Arin, the point of the knife just a tiny pinch against the skin. Arin struggled to breathe, struggled to think, struggled to do anything but focus on Dan’s frantic begging and the knife against his skin. Tears built at the corner of his eyes. 

He was never going to see Suzy again. 

Brian brought his face close to Arin’s. “You know why I’m here.” 

Arin coughed. 

“Respond,” Brian demanded.

Arin shifted his head, trying to pull some air into his lungs despite Brian’s arm against his throat. “To. . . to kill us.” 

“And you know who sent me,” Brian continued. 

Arin’s features hardened, despite the situation. “Steamin’.” 

“He’s a coward,” Brian said. “Paying other people to do his dirty work.” 

Arin felt woozy from the lack of air, but somehow he managed a newfound courage in being totally helpless. “Everyone needs work right?” He coughed again. “Even assassins.” 

Brian chuckled. “Ever the comedian.” 

“What can I say?” Arin spat. 

“God, _please,”_ Dan begged, the tears a constant stream now. He stood only a few feet away, paralyzed by the knife at Arin’s side, twitching, desperate to run forward and stop Brian. “Please, please, just let him go. . . I’m begging you, please. . .” 

Brian shoved his arm deeper into Arin’s neck, causing him to gag. “Is there a reason I should let you go?” He practically whispered, glaring deep into Arin’s eyes. 

Arin glared back. “Are you going to go after Alex and Ryland next?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“They aren’t my targets,” Brian whispered. Then, louder, “That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I have a feeling nothing will,” Arin said. He closed his eyes, trying to fill his mind with images of Suzy, letting the tears run down his cheeks. “Just be quick, please.” 

“God, _no!”_ Dan’s voice cracked.

Brian huffed. “Braver than you look.”

Arin held his breath.

And Brian released his arm from under Arin’s chin, letting Arin slide to the floor. He took a step back. Arin gripped his neck, gagging. But he could breathe again.

Dan was at Arin’s side immediately, hovering over him, an arm wrapped around his chest, glaring at Brian, daring him to do something. 

Brian snorted. Then he turned to a security camera mounted on the ceiling. 

“You heard it straight from Ryland’s mouth,” Brian said. Arin blinked up at him. Ryland? He had just been calling him Arin. What. . . what the hell. . .? “Steamin’ paid me, an assassin, to murder his rivals.” He held the knife up. “He is poison to your community. Get rid of him.” He glanced at the knife then threw it into the camera, breaking it. 

Then he turned back to Arin and Dan.

Dan tightened his grip on Arin. “Stay back.” 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Brian said, removing his facemask, his voice suddenly soft. God, the uncanny resemblance to his friend and coworker threatened to break Arin. “Sorry things had to be this way.” 

_“Sorry?”_ Dan spat. “You almost killed my best friend!” 

“You guys were never in any real danger,” Brian said. “I just had to play it up for the camera. And Steamin’.” 

“You fucking destroyed my coat trying to murder me!” Dan shouted. 

“I saw you take your coat off and waited until you were out of sight before I slashed through it,” Brian said. “And I let you make it back to your car. I had to do something to show Steamin’ I was trying to get his job done or he would have stopped trusting in me.” 

Arin finally lost it. “What the fuck is this even all about?” he snarled. “You gave me a fucking heart attack!” 

“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” a new voice said. 

A familiar voice. 

Jesse walked around the corner, a sheepish smile on his face. 

Arin gripped Dan’s arm. “Holy shit. It’s you.” 

“Yeah,” Jesse said. “It’s me.” 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Dan demanded. “What is all this?” 

“I’ve known for a while that there were some seriously toxic people in the Killcore community,” Jesse said. “Steamin’ was an obvious one, but it was hard to tell if he was just putting on a face or if he was as seriously messed up as I suspected he was.” He gripped Brian’s shoulder. “I hired Brian to look into it for me.” 

Arin blinked. He shared a nervous glance with Dan.

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know that in that messed up show you act in that Brian is this heavy-duty assassin who’s destined to kill me at the end of Blood Match. But I assure you, this is nothing like the show. Brian is a dear friend to me. He’s the only one I trusted with this.” 

Dan’s eyes grew wide. “How did--”

“Don’t ask how I know,” Jesse said. He turned to Brian. “How fast can you put together the footage to show the fans?” 

“Give me ten minutes,” Brian said. He turned and left. 

Jesse nodded to Arin and Dan. “Sorry we had to put you through that, but we needed your fear to look authentic.” 

Dan sat on the ground next to Arin, trying to wipe his face clean, but he said nothing.

“If you’re looking for something good here,” Jesse said. “Know that you’ve at least taken away Esports People’s biggest pain in the ass. Between the contract he signed with Brian and the footage we have now, Steamin’ won’t be seeing the light of day for a long time.” He turned and left. 

Arin watched him go. Dan let out a shuddering breath and buried his face in Arin’s shoulder, holding him tight. Arin wrapped an arm around Dan, shaking. It was a long time before either of them moved to leave.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I don't do this, but, dude, to my reader Liz, waking up to a bunch of amazing comments on my fic was seriously AMAZING. This chapter is dedicated to you. <3 Thank you so much. 
> 
> So you guys know, I'm thinking there's probably three more chapters... and an epilogue left in this story. I'm sad it's coming to an end! But I've enjoyed every minute writing it. 
> 
> I'm considering doing a cover art for it... and perhaps asking for help from the community. Are you an artist? Would you like to help me work on the cover? Let me know in the comments!

“We are fifty-five minutes into the most intense game of Killcore we’ve ever seen here at Blood Match and I am fuckin’ loving it!” Terry Crews shouted. 

Ryland kept his mind focused on the game, trying to ignore the sounds of the crowd and the announcers commenting on their every single move.

It wasn’t easy.

Admittedly, while being switched with Arin had done wonders for his psyche and certainly for his relationship with Alex, two weeks without practice was enough to put him slightly off his game. 

It was so _frustrating._  
But. . . every now and then he’d pick out Alex’s cheering from the crowd. His voice helped Ryland focus. 

He had a reason to be here. 

“Oh, and a sneak attack by Lucid!” one announced shouted, as Lucid’s team snatched up a huge buff that Esports People had been fighting for.

Ash cursed in Ryland’s ear. 

Ryland bit his lip. Their core was way down. . . but so was Lucid’s. 

He had one shot. 

Sam huffed, glaring at the screen as Lucid charged their core. “It’s over.” 

“No, it’s not!” Kamal shouted, grinning at Ryland. “Look at him!” 

In the distraction, Ryland had pushed through Lucid’s minions and headed for Lucid’s core. . . alone. 

“Holy shit!” Ash said, bounding in her chair.

“He’s going all the way. . .” Lorenzo said. 

“Boogerboss is going for Lucid’s core all on his own!” the announcer shouted.

A million things ran through Ryland’s mind. Steamin’s reawakening of his meltdown video. . . The anger coursing through him after the attack. . . the self-hatred, the nonstop fighting with this team, the uselessness that just clung to him. . . 

Suzy’s assurance that he was more like Arin than he realized. . . Brian and Barry’s smiles and uplifting words. . . The support from the crowd at the live show. . . The grins and hugs from his team. . . his family. . . when he and Alex came home. 

Alex’s soft lips on his own. . . The caress of his fingers in Ryland’s hair. . . The gentle whisper of _I love you_ in his ear. . . 

_You will never be alone again._

Maybe he’d win. Maybe he wouldn’t. But more than ever, he realized it didn’t matter. Because in reality, he had already won.

He activated his ult. 

Ash started chanting Boogerboss in his ear as he fought the core. “Oh my god, Ryland, you’ve got this!” 

Just as his character took its last hit, Lucid’s core exploded and the word REDEMPTION blasted across Ryland’s screen. 

Ryland stood, throwing his headphones on the keyboard, a wild grin on his face. _“Yes!”_

In a second the whole team was up from their seats, exchanging hugs and pats on the back, congratulating each other and screaming in joy. Alex bound on the stage from the audience, shouting.

“Yes! You did it, Ryland, you did it!” He threw his arms around Ryland from behind and pressed a quick kiss to the back of Ryland’s head when no one was looking. “I’m so proud of you, Ry.”

Before Ryland could respond, Lucid leapt on stage, screaming at his players. “You fucking blew it! You all fucking blew it, you fucking assholes!” 

The crowd grew silent.

He turned to one of his players, spitting out a long string of Korean, ending with “You’re fired!” 

As his defeated players trudged up the stairs to exit the stage, Steamin’ turned his wrath on Esports People. 

Then the lights went out. 

Before anyone could truly react, the big screen lit up, and to Ryland’s astonishment, a distorted face appeared on screen.

Ash shrank a little beside him. “Holy shit. . . is that Ninja Brian. . .?” 

How she managed to get that out of the distortion, Ryland had no clue. He grabbed Alex’s hand still wrapped around his collarbone, gripping it tight. Alex stiffened his grip on Ryland.

“People of Killcore,” the figure said, his voice a twisted mess. “You have poison among you.” 

The image switched to a view of what looked like security cameras in a dim hallway. A second passed before two figures ran down it.

Two familiar figures. 

Ryland’s eyes grew wide. “Holy shit, that’s Dan and Arin. . .” 

The crowd gasped collectively, though Ryland couldn’t catch anyone’s expression in the darkness. Obviously the crowd had no idea who was really in that video. They thought it was Ryland and Alex. 

“Today, before your match, two of your own were targeted,” the messy voice continued. “By an assassin.” 

Ash brought her hands up to her mouth. “Oh, god, no. . .” Ryland gripped her shoulder reassuringly. 

The video continued, switching cameras as the pair continued further down the hall. A third figure dressed all in black traced their exact path as they ran. A second later, Dan dragged Arin into a hidden alcove, but their hunter found them and dragged Arin roughly from their hiding spot, shoving him against the wall.

Alex yelped and pulled Ryland closer. Ryland squeezed his hand.

Then they heard someone speaking. 

Dan’s frantic voice.

_“O-oh, god, oh god, please… please don’t hurt him…”_

Ryland’s breath hitched and he instinctively pulled Alex closer. 

Ash had tears in her eyes. “Oh, god. . .”

 _“You know why I’m here,”_ the messy voice continued. The black figure shook Arin. Dan whimpered, quietly begging the man to release Arin, but he was ignored. _“Respond.”_

Strained, Arin responded. _“To. . . to kill. . .”_

 _“And you know who sent me,”_ the figure continued.

 _“Steamin’. . .”_ Arin spat.

Ryland’s eyes grew wide and he chanced a glance in Steamin’s direction, but the darkness blocked his view.

 _“He’s a coward,”_ the figure continued. _“Paying other people to do his dirty work.”_

Dan shifted back and forth, his voice shaking. _“God, please. Please, please, just let him go. . . I’m begging you, please. . .”_

“Oh god. . .” Sam muttered beside Ryland, her voice shaking. “Oh god, just let this end. . .”

The audio shifted. _“Is there a reason I should let you go?”_ the figure said, the volume fluctuating with static, making it difficult to hear. 

Arin glared at him. _“Are you going to go after Alex –pfft—next?”_

 _“—pfft—not my target,”_ the figure said. 

Arin closed his eyes. _“Just be quick, please.”_

 _“God, no!”_ Dan shouted.

Ripples of anger, fear, and gasps waved over the crowd. 

“No, no, no. . .!” Ash squeaked, her voice nearly drowned out in the crowd mumbling. “Arin. . .!” 

“I’m right here.” 

Ryland and Alex both turned. It was difficult in the dark, but eventually Ryland made out the figures of Dan and Arin behind them, shaken, but alive. 

“Oh, _god,”_ Ash muttered, throwing her arms around Arin. “You’re alive. . . thank god. . .” 

Arin wrapped one arm around her, though Ryland noticed Dan had a death grip on Arin’s other hand. Arin let out a quiet chuckle. 

“Couldn’t exactly kill me on camera like that with Ryland standing right there, could he?” Arin said, obviously trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal, though his shaking voice broke any sense of humor behind his words. 

Dan took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Arin’s hand. 

“Ryland,” Alex said, pointing back at the screen. The figure had released Arin and let him slide to the floor. Dan stood over him now, protecting him, glaring at the figure. Ryland turned back to Dan, frowning.

“We’re. . . fine,” Dan managed. “Just shaken. . .” 

Sam hugged Dan. “You could have fucking died. . .” 

Dan gently rubbed her back, but he still wouldn’t let Arin go. 

“Alex,” Dan said. Alex met his eyes, worry covering his features. “We should get backstage before the lights go on and this whole thing is blown. Just. . . take care of Ryland.” 

“We’ll take care of each other,” Ryland said, pulling Alex closer to him again. Alex buried his nose in Ryland’s hair, softly kissing his head.

Dan smiled and released his hug with Sam. He and Arin glanced over their team. 

“We’ll miss you guys,” Arin said. “Take care of each other.” Then they turned and walked backstage, still hand in hand. Everyone turned back to the TV.

 _“You heard it straight from Ryland’s mouth,”_ the figure said, staring directly at the security camera that had captured the whole, terrifying episode. _“Steamin’ paid me, an assassin, to murder his rivals.”_ He held the knife up. _“He is poison to your community. Get rid of him.”_ Then he tossed the knife at the camera and everything turned to static. 

The lights returned.

And every pair of eyes was on Steamin’.

“No, you have it all wrong!” Steamin’ shouted. “I didn’t -- that wasn’t Ryland and Alex! It was a pair of doppelgangers named Arin and Dan! They were -- I meant -- He didn’t. . .”

He turned his gaze on Alex and Ryland. Ryland stanced himself protectively in front of Alex, glaring. 

Steamin’s eyes widened. . . and he ran for the stairs off stage.

A pair of security guards beat him to it and dragged him off. “No! You gotta listen to me! I didn’t do anything!” But his voice faded as he disappeared with the guards. 

Then a random fan shouted “Esports People!” and the crowd exploded with cheers.

Alex wrapped both arms tighter around Ryland’s collarbone, hiding his face in Ryland’s neck. “I love you so goddamn much. . .” 

“I love you too,” Ryland said, letting himself get lost in Alex’s intimate touch. He let out a little laugh. “I guess things are working out for the best.” 

Alex pulled his face back and met Ryland’s eyes. “I wish I could kiss you right now.” 

“Who says you can’t?” 

Alex smiled and leaned toward Ryland. Ryland met him halfway and for a brilliant, amazing, beautiful moment, he and Alex were the only people in the room, sharing a kiss meant only for them. 

In the next moment, squees peppered the screams of the crowd and Ryland caught Lorenzo practically shrieking in glee next to them. 

Then it was back to just him and Alex, still caressing each other’s lips. God, he hoped it would be like this forever.


	33. Chapter 33

Arin still stood by Dan’s side backstage, watching one of the monitors filming the events going on out front. With everyone focused solely on Steamin’s horrific betrayal of the Killcore community, no one was backstage to notice Arin and Dan. 

Dan still had a death grip on Arin’s hand. He stared at the monitor.

He was more than a little shaken up by the whole situation. He hadn’t stopped trembling since Brian let Arin go, and he had hardly said a word. Arin was surprised he had managed as much as he had said to Alex. 

So for now, Arin let him hold his hand.

“Is that weird?” Dan asked suddenly.

Arin frowned, glancing up at him. “Is what weird?” 

“Seeing Alex and Ryland kiss each other.” 

Arin turned his gaze back to the screen. The camera focused on Esports People, though Ryland and Alex specifically as they shared a kiss on stage. Arin watched a moment, thinking.

Part of him wanted to say that he had seen so much Egobang fan art that he was numb to the idea, though that same part of him also recognized that the sarcasm was still just nerves. His typical way of turning to humor when things got difficult or uncomfortable. He may not be as badly shaken as Dan, but to pretend that Brian’s knife at his side and arm in his throat didn’t affect him was ridiculous. 

Besides there was something. . . decidedly different about Alex and Ryland. He didn’t look at Alex and think he was Dan, despite looking exactly like him. There was something about the way Alex held himself, the way he moved, even the way he spoke that separated him from Arin’s best friend. It was easy to see, despite having only really known Alex for a few hours. Even if Alex and Dan were to stand side by side, Arin would be able to tell them apart. 

He suspected Dan felt the same way about Ryland. 

He took a deep breath. “No. It’s not weird. It’s just. . . right.” 

“Mmm,” Dan muttered, still staring at the screen. 

Still gripping Arin’s hand.

Arin frowned at his friend. “Are you ever going to let go of my hand?” 

Dan shut his eyes and took a deep breath, shuddering as he exhaled. His voice shook as he spoke. “I thought I was going to witness the death of my best friend. The most important person in the world to me, murdered before my eyes.” He tightened his grip around Arin’s hand and stepped closer to him, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m never letting you go again.” 

Arin stared up at Dan. The most important person in the world to him? Did he mean that? Staring at Dan’s glistening eyes, feeling his still trembling body through their handhold. . . maybe he did. 

God. 

Arin leaned closer to Dan and tightened his grip on Dan’s hand too. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Dan released a shaky breath, saying nothing. 

Someone cleared their throat behind them. 

Arin looked over his shoulder and his face paled. 

Brian stood there, staring at them both.

Dan immediately pulled Arin behind him, holding an arm in front of him protectively. _“Back off.”_

“I already told you I’m not going to hurt you,” Brian said, his voice and mannerisms so much like the Brian Arin knew and loved at home. 

Then he noticed Brian holding something. The green electric guitar. 

Fixed. Completely.

“What the hell?” Arin pointed.

Dan turned his gaze on the guitar.

Brian actually smiled. “You helped me get rid of Steamin’. Whether you set out to do that or not. The last thing that needed fixing in this world.” 

Arin met Dan’s eyes, then turned back to Brian. “For Alex and Ryland.” 

Brian nodded, his smile increasing. “I have to say, I’m pleased with how selflessly you two acted for them. And maybe a little surprised.” 

Dan eyed him warily. “Why?” 

Brian shook his head. “It’s not important.” He held the guitar up. Arin raised an eyebrow. The guitar glowed slightly, little motes of white lights fluffing off of it like dandelion seeds on the wind. Brian nodded to the guitar. “Ready to go home?” 

Arin glanced at Dan. Dan chewed his bottom lip, taking one more look at the monitor. Alex and Ryland had already released their kiss, and the whole team danced across the stage in celebration. 

Arin watched too, letting a smile grace his face. They had done some good here. And perhaps some good had been done to Alex and Ryland in their own world. 

He laced his fingers between Dan’s, holding his hand tighter. “Dan?” 

Dan nodded slowly. “Yeah.” He faced Brian, his gaze still cold. “Make sure Alex gets that guitar back.” 

Brian nodded. He passed a folded piece of paper to Arin, who took it warily. “Give this to my counterpart. He’ll know what it means.” 

Arin nodded and pocketed it. 

Dan lifted their joined hands, took one last look at the monitor, then, together, they reached out and touched the glowing guitar, letting the light engulf them. 

\-----

Arin nearly fell over when the light faded and they reappeared in some strange room. Dan caught him and helped him to his feet, finally releasing Arin’s hand. “Dude, careful!” 

“Arin. . .?” 

Arin froze for a moment, then whipped his head around, frantically searching for the source of that voice. 

It was the most beautiful thing he had heard in two weeks. 

There. In the corner of the room, frowning, cautiously walking forward.

Suzy.

Arin took three large steps, crossing the distance between them, and threw his arms around her, pulling her into a deep kiss. She laughed against his lips, wrapping her arms around him, holding him tighter than she ever had before. 

He was finally home.

He released the kiss after a moment, smiling down at her. God, she was gorgeous. He ran a hand through her hair and cupped her chin, his eyes glistening. “We made it.” 

She just grinned, running a thumb down his cheek. 

Brian walked past them and hugged Dan. “Thank god you guys got home safe.” 

Dan still said nothing, but he hugged Brian back tightly. 

“I know you guys just got back from a trying ordeal,” Brian said, releasing his hug with Dan. “But you think you’re up for a Game Grumps Live Q&A?” 

“Shit, is that where Alex and Ryland were performing?” Arin said, laughing. “How’d they do?” 

Brian grinned. “Excellently.” 

“Fantastic,” Arin said. He turned to Dan. “Think you’re up for the Q&A?” 

Dan stared back at Arin, the light slowly returning to his eyes. He held a hand out to Arin. Arin smiled and took it. 

Suzy frowned. “Dan, are you okay? You look. . . shell shocked.” 

“I’m fine now,” Dan said, still gripping Arin’s hand. “We’re home. Nothing can touch us.” 

Suzy blinked and glanced at Arin.

“It’s been a. . . difficult couple of hours,” Arin said. He turned back to Dan. “Ready?” 

“As long as I have you, I’m ready for anything.” 

“Oh, wait,” Arin reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper. He passed it to Brian. “I was told to give you this.” 

Brian lifted one cautious eyebrow, but took the paper from him, unfolding it. He eyed Arin. “This is in my handwriting.” 

“Considering that was written by your counterpart in the Good Game world, I’m not surprised,” Arin said.

Brian’s eyes grew wide. “Isn’t he an assassin in the Good Game world?” 

Arin glanced at Dan. Dan turned away, rubbing one arm. Arin turned back to Brian. “He’s. . . complicated. But he said you’d understand that message.”

Brian read through the paper. He pressed his eyes shut a moment when he finished.

Arin frowned. “Brian?”

“It’s nothing.” 

Dan stepped forward. “Brian. . .”

“It’s fine,” Brian said, smiling now. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He jerked a thumb toward the door. “You need to get out there and do that Q&A before we run out of time.” 

Arin exchanged a glance with Dan. Dan shrugged. 

“Well, let’s do this,” Arin said, and they opened the door.


	34. Chapter 34

“Did you seriously have Lorenzo buy us a house or were you joking on the way home?” Ash asked as they pulled into the driveway leading to Alex and Ryland’s apartment. It was dark and the parking lot lights barely lit up the path before them.

Alex rubbed the back of his head as he dragged the suitcase Dan had left behind him. He pulled it carefully. . . after all, it had the precious gift of a Sexbang outfit from Dan. 

“I did, thinking it’d bring us closer together,” Alex said. He glanced at Ryland and reached for his hand. Ryland smiled and slipped his hand into Alex’s. Alex smiled back. He turned to Ash. “I’m. . . not really sure how well it’ll work now.” 

Ash smiled at Ryland. “It’s really great to see you so happy, Ryland.” 

“It’s great to have a reason to be,” Ryland said. His smiled faded a little and he turned to the group. “Speaking of, could Alex stay with one of you for a couple of days? I need to clear the apartment of beer and weed. . .” 

Sam perked both eyebrows. “You’re going sober, Alex?” 

Alex squeezed Ryland’s hand. “I went through some. . . pretty hefty withdrawals while we were away.” He shook his head. “That stuff’s killing me. And I’ve got too much to live for now to let that happen.”

“He can stay with me,” Lorenzo said, grinning. “I don’t have any of that stuff in the house, so it’d be a nice safe environment.” 

“Thanks, Lorenzo,” Ryland said with a smile.

“I’m just happy to see the two of you so gleeful,” Lorenzo said. “I mean, if it could happen for you two. . .” 

Ryland leaned closer to Alex. “I never really pictured myself with a guy before. But with Alex it just. . . fits.” 

Ash waved a hand. “We saw it coming a mile away, Ryland. You just needed a boost apparently.” 

“Speak for yourself,” Kamal said. “You guys better learn to keep those PDAs under control.” 

“I dunno, it got some great publicity at Blood Match,” Sam said, grinning. “Their kiss is trending all over the place right now. Esports People is a household name.” 

Ryland blushed, burying his face in his hand. “I really didn’t intend for that to happen.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Ry,” Alex said. He pressed a kiss to the side of Ryland’s head. “Enjoy the moment. Everything’ll be different now.” 

“Even though we didn’t win?” Kamal said.

“Next time,” Alex said. “We’ll win next time.” 

“In the meantime, we need to figure out what to do with that house,” Lorenzo said, rolling his eyes. “And warn me next time, okay?” 

Alex grinned. “Sorry.” 

Ryland pulled out his key and opened the front door. Alex prepared himself for the smell of weed and booze, hoping he could fight the cravings long enough to grab some clothes and head to Lorenzo’s house.

But instead they were hit with the smell of. . . zesty lemon? Cleaning supplies?

“What the hell?” Ryland entered the apartment. “It’s all clean.” 

“What?” Alex entered too. Sure enough, the apartment was sparkling, the smell of weed and booze completely gone. “Did Dan and Arin do this?” 

“I assume so,” Ryland said. He opened the fridge. “All the beer is gone.” 

“I assume my weed is gone too,” Alex said. “They really did this for us?” 

Ryland shrugged. “Brian did say that Dan escaped all that stuff in his past. Maybe he thought he was doing you a favor.” 

“Well,” Alex said. “He was.” 

“Hey, there’s a letter on Ryland’s computer,” Sam said, waving an envelope around. 

Ryland took it and opened it up. “It’s instructions on how to access a video on my computer and. . . holy _fuck.”_

Alex frowned. “What?” 

Ryland pulled out a rectangular piece of paper, his hand shaking. He passed it to Alex. 

Alex stared wide eyed. _“Holy fuck.”_

 _“What?”_ Ash said. 

“It’s. . . a cashier’s check for $10,000.” 

“What?” Kamal said. “What the fuck?” 

Ryland looked over the letter. “Let me pull up this video.” 

A second later, Dan and Arin stared at them with grinning faces, crowded around Ryland’s computer. Dan waved.

 _“Hey, guys,”_ Dan said. _“I hope you found this okay.”_

 _“And the check,”_ Arin said. _“Congrats on second place. We matched your winnings to help you guys get started for next year.”_

“But how did they know?” Alex asked. 

_“Alex, I have a bunch of stuff put together to help you get back into music, if you want,”_ Dan continued. _“It’s all in a manila envelope on Ryland’s bed. I figured you wouldn’t miss it if I put it there.”_

Ryland blushed. 

_“If you’re wondering about the clean apartment, yeah, we did clear it of weed and booze,”_ Arin said. _“Sorry if that’s not what you wanted. . .”_ He didn’t finish the sentence.

Alex shook his head. “If I could hug them for this, I would.” 

_“We cleaned out the backroom too,”_ Dan said. _“Anything personal we put in tubs in Ryland’s room.”_ There was a distinctively sad tone to Dan’s words, and both men frowned.

Alex copied their frowns, glancing at Ryland. Ryland gripped his hand again.

 _“Hopefully this’ll take some pressure off you guys as you get ready for the next Blood Match,”_ Arin said, his grin returning. _“Good luck. And remember you’re family. Act like it.”_ He winked and the video ended. 

Alex glanced at the check again. How had they managed to get them an additional $10,000? Was that what being at their level was like? Just give away ten grand whenever they wanted? 

Would he and Ryland get there someday? 

Ryland gently plucked the check from Alex’s hands and handed it to Lorenzo. “You were talking about a return on investment,” he said. “After everything you’ve done for us, I think you could use this the most.” 

Lorenzo took the check gingerly. “I. . . thank you.” 

“You can’t just do that!” Kamal said. “That was meant for all of us!” 

“It was addressed to Alex and me and we get to decide what to do with it.” He looked up at Alex, who smiled and nodded. This was right. 

Kamal rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” 

“You know,” Lorenzo said. “This more than covers the back rent you owe me. And it’s definitely enough for a first and last month’s rent deposit on a new place. . .” 

Alex and Ryland exchanged glances and both stared at Lorenzo. “What?” 

“It seems I have a house that needs tenants,” Lorenzo said. “Maybe you’d be interested.” 

Alex’s jaw dropped. “Are you fucking serious?” 

Lorenzo grinned. “Consider it a reward for starting over.” He pointed at Alex and Ryland. “Just keep up with rent this time.”

“We’ll have no problems getting sponsors now,” Ash said, grinning. “It won’t be a problem for any of us.” 

“Oh my god, Lorenzo,” Alex said. “That’s. . . wow.” 

“Oh my _god,”_ Kamal said. “I’m getting the fuck out of here before you all start singing kumbaya and making out to Marvin Gaye.” He turned and headed for the door. “I’ll expect my part of the prize money soon!” 

“I should get going myself,” Lorenzo said. “I think I need to prepare a new listing for this apartment.” He winked at Alex and Ryland and walked out.

Sam gave Alex and Ryland hugs. “See you guys for our next practice.” She also left.

Ash smiled at the both of them. “I’m proud you both.” She hugged them. “And I’m so happy for you. Take care of each other, okay?” 

“Of course,” Ryland said. 

“See you soon, guys,” Ash said. She left.

Alex moved to the surprisingly clean couch. “Holy shit, Ryland.” 

Ryland moved from his computer chair and to Alex’s delight, he sat next to him and wrapped an arm around him. “This isn’t a dream, right? Promise me I’m not going to wake up tomorrow to you sleeping in a pile of beer bottles and weed.” 

Alex giggled. “It’s not a dream.” 

“Prove it.” 

Alex smirked, cupped Ryland’s chin, and pulled him in for a kiss. God, to just be able to do this with him. . . to just kiss him without worry. To have him return it. 

To have so much to look forward to with him. . .

Soon Alex pulled back and, feeling a little adventurous, turned his kisses to Ryland’s jaw. He moved slowly, giving Ryland the space to back out if he needed to. 

Instead Ryland tilted his head back, giving Alex more access. Alex smiled and hummed into Ryland’s skin, tracing lips down his neck. “Shall we share the bed tonight?” 

“As long as the only thing we’re doing is sleeping, Lexi,” Ryland said, his voice breathy. “I’m going to need time for the rest of that stuff. . .” 

Alex paused in his kisses on Ryland’s neck. “‘Lexi’. . .?” 

Ryland blushed. “. . .Okay, I’ll admit it. I asked Suzy what nickname the. . . ‘rylex’ shippers had me use for you. . . I kind of like it. . .” 

Alex giggled again. “I love it.” He laid his head on Ryland’s shoulder, holding him tight. Ryland tilted his head back forward, leaning into Alex’s hug. Alex snuggled into Ryland’s shoulder. “Whatever you need, Ry. I’m here for you.” 

Ryland petted Alex’s hair and planted a kiss on his head. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” Alex said. “And I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

“Together,” Ryland said.

Alex settled into Ryland’s side, smiling, his heart fluttering. “Together.”


	35. Chapter 35

Dan sat on a stool on the stage of the little comedy club Alex and Ryland had been performing at, trying to remind himself to smile.

It wasn’t easy.

But Arin was right there. He had to keep telling himself that. He was right there, right next to Dan, safe and sound. Not stuck in the Good Game world.

Not pinned to a wall by an assassin that looked just like one of his closest friends and bandmate. 

God, it had been difficult to even let his own Brian hug him after that whole situation.

Normally Dan and Arin would take opposite ends of the stage in a small venue like this, so more people could see them. This time, Dan insisted on sitting right next to Arin. He fought the urge to grip Arin’s hand and just hold it while they spoke. The temptation was nearly overwhelming, even knowing the reaction the fans would have.

He absently traced Vernon’s path with his gaze as the man wandered to the next guest with a hand up.

But it was the question that really threw him off.

“I’m a huge fan of Good Game,” the young woman said, drawing a few cheers and claps from the rest of the audience. “So my question is this – If you had to guess, what do you think Alex and Ryland are doing right now?” 

Dan pressed his lips together. 

God. That question carried a whole lot more weight knowing what they knew now. 

He hoped they were back at home, safe and sound, celebrating their win, enjoying each other’s company, and discussing their future together. A future that hopefully he and Arin had made better. 

He hoped they appreciated the clean apartment. He hoped Alex no longer cared that his father was a jackass because why did he matter? Alex had Ryland now. He had his team.

He hoped Ryland could work on taking care of his depression. He hoped he would find more reasons to smile and laugh. He hoped he would recognize the family he had in his team. 

He hoped they would hold on to each other forever. Because god knew Dan was going to hold on to Arin for that long. 

Fuck it. He scooted his stool closer to Arin and clasped his hand anyway. He needed the reassurance. Fuck what the fans said.

A few people sitting at the front tables noted their handhold and smiled, but no one said anything.

Arin tightened his grip on Dan’s hand and opened his mouth to speak. Dan expected some kind of sarcastic remark, or something fitting the Good Game TV show rather than addressing the much darker and more serious dimension they had just come from. 

It’s not what he got.

“I’m not sure what they’d be doing right now,” Arin said, his tone quite serious. “I hope they’d be relaxing, or maybe prepping for the next Blood Match. Just. . . enjoying each other’s company.” 

A few audience members murmured something about Rylex. Dan glanced at Arin, expecting an eyeroll.

Arin sat back on the stool, still gripping Dan’s hand. “I know, I know, there’s a bunch of people out there who ship Rylex stuff. And while I don’t know if we’ll ever make it canon in the show, I. . . don’t see anything wrong with it.” 

More than a handful of people cheered. 

Dan lifted the microphone to his lips. “In all honesty guys, we helped make this show but. . . in a big way, you made these characters. We’ve seen the fan work. The show passes Alex’s weed and alcohol addiction off as a joke. You guys saw that as something much deeper and more important and you address it, in a serious manner, giving it the respect it deserves.”

“Ryland mentioned just one time that he hates himself in the show,” Arin continued. “He wears muted tones and almost always has long sleeves. Yeah, we chose these things as a way to show he’s very closed in on himself, but again, you guys saw something deeper. You’ve discussed his. . .” Arin bit his lower lip and his hand clenched tighter in Dan’s. Dan gripped it tighter back. “. . .possible coping habits. You’ve again, respected it and even used it to hopefully help people get out of that lifestyle or get help in other ways.” 

Dan nodded. “I think Ryland would appreciate that.” 

“And I suppose that’s one of the places where Rylex comes in,” Arin continued. “So much of the Rylex stuff you guys have made is just Alex and Ryland being there for each other. Helping each other through their various problems. Giving each other the love and support they each need.” He glanced at Dan and smiled. “Dan and I have that, platonically--”

A couple of good natured groans from the audience.

“—But it’s important to us to have that,” Arin continued. “It’s important for Alex and Ryland to have that too, platonically or romantically. Sometimes that support is literally the difference between life and death.” 

Which is why Dan wouldn’t let Arin’s hand go. 

The difference between life and death. He almost had to face that today. He scooted closer again.

“So does that mean you actually read the fan fiction?” the woman asked. 

Arin actually blushed a little and glanced at the ceiling. “Well. . . some of it.” 

The women smiled. “Then does that mean you’re a Rylex shipper?” 

Arin narrowed his eyes at her. “What did you say your name was?” 

“I didn’t, but it’s Samantha,” the woman said.

Arin blinked at her a moment, then rolled his eyes. “I suppose in a way I am.” He pointed at the audience. “That doesn’t mean it translates to Egobang, guys.” 

Several people voiced their disappointment. 

“More than anything,” Dan said. “I just want Ryland and Alex to be happy. If that means being romantically involved with each other. . . so be it.” 

Samantha smirked at them. “You essentially just approved of Rylex shipping.” 

Dan took a deep breath. Images flashed through his mind. Alex and Ryland holding hands. Alex’s physical affection for Ryland. Ryland smiling. Actually fucking smiling. Their brief intimate touches. 

Their kiss on stage.

He threaded his fingers between Arin’s and held his hand tight.

“I’m okay with that,” Dan said. 

\-----

“You doing okay, Dan?” Arin asked.

Dan sat back on the Grump couch, basking in the familiarity of it. They had finished their Q&A (thankfully with no more awkward conversations about Alex and Ryland) and headed home. Arin was eager to get back home with Suzy, but Dan asked if they could spend just a few minutes in the office before they parted ways. 

Dan wasn’t sure he was even ready to go home yet. He was already considering spending the night on the Grump couch. Going from two weeks of living with Arin in an intimate apartment to moving back to his own home, where he lived alone, would be a weird transition. At least the couch smelled familiar and he wouldn’t be in the office long tomorrow morning before someone else came in.

He needed time.

“I don’t know,” Dan admitted. He sought out Arin’s hand again and Arin happily held it out. “I really don’t know, Arin.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Arin said. 

“I know.” 

Arin sighed. He released Dan’s hand and pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you. You know that.” 

Dan leaned into Arin’s hug. “I know. Some days that’s the only thing keeping me going.” He sighed. “I love you, too.” 

They stayed like that for a few moments.

“Think you’re going to be okay?” Arin asked, uncertain.

Dan shut his eyes, taking in the moment. Arin’s arms around him. His friend’s familiar smell. The familiar space of the Grump room, complete with the whine of electronics, the stupid heat, the cushions molded to his body from the long hours of use. The comforting intimacy of the life he had built for himself. 

The life he built with Arin.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe. We’re home. Alex and Ryland are back home. Brian. . . isn’t a crazy murder assassin.” He breathed deeply. He needed to let go. He needed time, but. . . he could do it. He snuggled closer to Arin. “I’ll be just fine.”


	36. Epilogue

Brian stood in front of Jesse Cox’s “office” (which equated to little more than a somewhat hidden room in his home), holding a piece of paper in his hand. 

A note with his handwriting. Only he wasn’t the one who had written it.

He took a deep breath.

It had been over a month since Arin and Dan had come home from the Good Game universe and Alex and Ryland had gone back. Why the note asked him to wait this long before coming to Jesse was anyone’s guess. Well, Brian’s guess specifically, since he hadn’t told anyone about what the note he held said. 

Thankfully Dan and Arin had stopped asking about it a long time ago. 

Things were practically back to normal. Although Brian was always mildly preoccupied with the contents of the note written to him by his. . . assassin counterpart. 

God, that was weird.

Arin was back to his old self, running projects at the office, doing stuff with Game Grumps, writing a Starbomb album with him and Dan. 

Dan. . . wasn’t entirely back to normal yet. He was practically joined at the hip to Arin when they were together. He didn’t laugh as much as he used to. He was getting better, but Brian knew he wasn’t 100%. 

Dan wouldn’t tell him what had happened in the Good Game universe. Any time Brian asked about it, Dan fell into murmurs and excuses. He had finally got the answer from Arin, just two days ago, when Arin admitted he had been attacked by Brian’s assassin counterpart in a ploy to drag Steamin’ down from his high place and expose his dirty side.

All at Arin and Dan’s expense. Especially Dan’s expense. 

Brian clutched the paper in his hand. He’d have words for his counterpart. 

God, won’t that be surreal? 

He took a deep breath. Might as well get this started. He knocked on the door of Jesse’s office.

It opened on its own. “Come in,” Jesse said, his voice too light and airy for the situation Brian was about to walk into.

Brian strolled into the room, glancing around. It was simple. White walls, a small desk in one corner, a handful of soft red chairs littered about. 

No windows. 

A mysterious black door at the far end of the room.

Jesse sat at the desk, wearing a bland T-shirt and soft grin.

And to his left stood a familiar assassin, dressed in all black, though missing his facemask. He stared at Brian, expressionless, his arms folded. 

Brian suppressed the urge to run or vomit or freak out at the sight of someone who was basically him standing against the wall. He turned to Jesse and waved the paper in the air. “Got your note.” 

“Technically,” the assassin said. “That’s my note.” 

Brian glared at him, trying to ignore the shivers running up his spine at the sound of his own voice coming out of someone who wasn’t him.

“Good,” Jesse said, grinning still. “I don’t suppose you have the money as well?” 

Brian pulled out a check and glanced over it before passing it to Jesse. “$10,000. Should cover what Dan and Arin gave to Ryland and Alex.” He shook his head. “Wasn’t easy getting it. I couldn’t exactly explain to Dan and Arin that the money they gave out wasn’t really theirs and that I needed it from their actual accounts to replace the money they took. You know, not without explaining that Jesse is somehow a dimension hopping maniac who thought it was a great idea to make a TV show based off of one of his dimensions in order to drag my friends into a plot to save some stupid video game community and leaving Dan with PTSD.” He glared daggers at the assassin. “Thanks for that, by the way.” 

The assassin lowered his head, frowning. “That really wasn’t my intention.” 

“It was worth it in the end,” Jesse said. “For the Killcore community and for Alex and Ryland.” He leaned over his desk. “I know you care about them. Tell me it wasn’t worth it.” 

Brian glared. “I don’t think it’s my place to decide. You should ask Dan that.” 

“I’m sure he’d agree,” Jesse said. “And Arin too. I picked them because of their selflessness.” 

The assassin shook his head. “You wouldn’t get that from my Dan and Arin.” 

Brian lifted both brows. “Wait, what? _Your_ Dan and Arin?” 

“My bandmates in Starbomb.” 

Brian blinked. “What.” 

The assassin smirked lightly. “Apparently Dan and Arin have two counterparts in the Good Game universe. Lookalikes and. . . odd named copies. They’re essentially the same people right down to middle and last names, parents, siblings, birthdates. . . and bank accounts too, weirdly. They just look different.” He took a deep breath, frowning. “My bandmates are nothing like your Dan and Arin though. They’re selfish pricks with inflated egos, and they only got worse as Starbomb’s popularity grew.” 

Brian frowned. “That’s why Ryland said he’d never do Starbomb parodies, even though he knows how to rap. Because Starbomb goes after people who do that.” 

The assassin nodded. “It’s a good thing Jesse offered to cover the money from their accounts until you could pay him back or I’m sure they would have lost their shit over the missing cash and personally hunted Alex and Ryland down, even though they didn’t do anything. And even though it’s chump change for them.” 

Jesse leaned on his hands. “I had them protected.” 

Brian didn’t ask Jesse to specify which “them” Jesse was talking about. “It’s weird thinking about Dan and Arin being selfish. . .”

“Believe me, the opposite side is just as weird,” the assassin said. 

Brian narrowed his eyes at Jesse. “Tell me you aren’t going to drag Arin and Dan back to your weird world to try and fix them next.” 

Jesse waved a hand. “Not my problem.” 

“Good,” Brian said. He pressed his lips together. “How are Alex and Ryland?” 

The assassin smiled. “Living in the house Alex had Lorenzo buy. Developing their relationships, both with each other and with the other members of their team. Practicing and kicking ass in Killcore. Ryland smiles and laughs a lot more. Alex is singing now, too. TWRP’s talking about making him a semi-permanent member of the band. Oh, and he’s still completely sober.” He leaned back. “Not that you could tell Dan and Arin without giving this whole interaction away, but they did good work.” 

Brian sighed relief. “Tell them we’re all thinking about them, okay?” 

The assassin nodded. “Will do.” 

Brian turned to Jesse. “Do you need anything else? I’m started to get seriously weirded out here.” 

“You’re good to go,” Jesse said. He brought a finger to his lips. “Remember, not a word.” 

“No one would believe me anyway,” Brian said. He glared at Jesse. “No more using Dan and Arin for your personal fix-it men, okay?” 

Jesse just smiled slyly. 

 

THE END

 

MAYBE. . .


End file.
